I’m Published!!! :::: Michael Jackson For the Soul: A Fanthology
Some of you may remember that roughly just over a year ago I was approached by someone on here to publish my written piece on Michael Jackson.
When Michael Jackson passed on June 25, 2009 the entire WORLD mourned and there was a collective gasp of shock. I immediately took to my blog to write about what he meant to me. To my childhood. And what he meant to humanity as a whole.
A bit later a woman by the name of Lorette Luzajic wrote me expressing interest in my piece and wanted to know if I’d be interested in submitting it to a project she was going to be working on. She was compiling a “fanthology” of written works on the late King of Pop by bloggers, writers and fans such as myself.
I was of course, flattered and honoured to be included and told her I would LOVE to be a part of this. On January 9, 2011, I received an email saying the book was finished and ready. I haven’t received my copy as yet, so I can’t do a book review but as soon as I do, I will definitely be doing a write-up. I just wanted to share this with you all so that you may show love and support and purchase your own copy.
The book is available for purchase on Amazon.com. please click >>> here <<< to buy it now! It’s only $20.00 and $1 donations from each book sold will be going to the Kids Help Phone, keeping in spirit with Michael Jackson’s legacy and love for the children of the world.
Thank you, Lorette, for working so diligently to get this book completed. I also thank you for including me in such a special project. Also, many thanks to Eliza Lo for the beautiful front cover artwork.
We still miss you, Michael. I hope your family and fans will find justice.
Snooping Rather That Communicating
Well, well, well. I was on a forum recently where this topic came up and I was shocked this wasn’t something I had written about on here ever. If I have its evading me right now. I have a LOT of experience with this – LOL.
Anyway, what I’m talking about right now is snooping in the relationship. Snooping through your partners phones, emails, pockets and social network accounts. Is this right or wrong? When, if ever, is it acceptable? Does everyone do it? And how can this be avoided, if at all.
A lot of people will say they don’t snoop through their partners’ things but we all have at one time or another. If you say you haven’t then I guess you are better than the rest of us. Women, especially, will try to say they haven’t, in order to look like it’s below them to do such a thing but the ones adamantly saying they haven’t are usually the ones that have. I’ll be honest, I’ve done it. I’m not proud of it but I’ve done it. Men, will say they haven’t simply because snooping is a “female trait” but how WRONG they are. I’ve dealt with and heard the most stories of men that snoop through their girls’ private life to find out things about her whereabouts and actions. At the end of the day, men AND women are guilty of this. Where does it stem from? Insecurity? Many people will say yes but personally, I feel like if you don’t give me a reason to snoop I won’t feel I have to. Bottom line. That’s nothing to do with insecurity. Your job in a relationship is to keep that other person feeling like they are the only one in your life, that they mean a lot to you, that they are special. If both people do their jobs, snooping will never, ever be an issue, unless the person IS just crazy and insecure and nothing you do appeases them, but if that’s the case you have a BIGGER problem on your hands. Anyway, I’m rambling ….
Here’s the thing, folks. We all know invasion of privacy is wrong. We all know if we had someone going through OUR shit, we’d be livid and feel disrespected and mistrusted, thus, we know snooping is wrong. BUT, is it EVER justified? I’ll be the first person to say, without apology, that it sure is. Again, it’s not RIGHT or acceptable but a lot of things aren’t “right” or acceptable and people do them everyday. So long as you have a legitimate reason to go looking for proof of infidelity or deceit then I say do what you have to do.
BUT ….
This should only be a last resort, people. This is ONLY something you should do if you have asked your partner about their behaviours or secrecies prior. You cannot just, out of nowhere, feel you’re going to go through your partners’ phone and emails because you have a hunch or are having an insecure day. You can’t do this. There’s no justification there. None. BUT, if your partner has been acting shady or weird or is keeping secrets from you then you should talk to them about it. Voice your concerns with things you are noticing or seeing. Depending on HOW you approach the situation and WHAT you say, if there is nothing to hide, your partner will not take offense – it will be a conversation and not a confrontation. He/she may even SHOW you there is nothing to worry about. At this point you mind is at ease and if the trust is there, that will be good enough for you. If the trust ISN’T there, chances are you will need to ASK them to see there’s nothing to hide. This can go three ways:
1. your partner will let you see and nothing will be found. The problem with this is even though you weren’t accusatory they now feel they aren’t trusted and may withdraw from you even more.
2. your partner may have nothing to hide but they feel mistrusted and are offended you would ask them to see their private interactions with other people. This type of person usually doesn’t in ANY way understand why they were asked in the first place. They’re oblivious to their own behaviours, usually.
3. They have everything to hide and will manipulate the situation to make you feel bad about even asking. They will turn it around on you to make you feel like YOU are in the wrong. They’ll make you feel like you’re crazy and insecure and even though you know you aren’t these things, you will start to feel like maybe they’re right. They will NOT show you anything and based on their adamant and belligerent response you know something is going on. So, you are left to take matters into your own hands. #3 was my last relationship.
The thing is, communication is and should work every time but that’s not always the case. It takes TWO people to communicate and if both parties don’t feel the same away about it, there’s no point. It has to be noted that when you go looking for things, you WILL find them. If you’re convinced your partner is cheating or doing things with other women you will not stop until you find that proof. This leads us to the bigger problem. If you feel this strongly about your significant other than that should say a LOT about the strength and status of your relationship. You cannot be in a healthy and loving relationship constantly thinking you need to be looking in your woman’s phone. You cannot be in a healthy and loving relationship constantly thinking your man is devoting attention you deserve to other women on social networking sites.
While snooping can be a problem, the bigger issue is that you have no trust in your relationship and what is a relationship without trust?
I’ve always said, if I snoop and find nothing I’ll leave it alone but what am I going to do? Change that whenever another situation comes up? Of course not. I’d go crazy. BUT, if my man isn’t willing to make me feel secure to the point where I’d never even have to DREAM of going through his things (as I of course would do for him in return) then why am I with him? No one wants to be accused of doing shady things behind their partners’ backs but at the same time NO ONE wants to be anyone’s fool and played for a sucker.
Take yourself for example, look at YOUR actions – if you’ve never done anything to make your man/woman feel like they need to snoop and they have, then this is an issue of theirs and you need to figure out if you can deal with someone like that. If your actions ARE questionable then no it doesn’t make their snooping excusable but their reasoning for doing it CAN be justified. If you don’t want to be checked up on then change your behaviours. Simple. No one is right or wrong. No one wins in this situation.
I still say talking things out is always better. I still say if you’re gonna really go snooping, make sure you’ve exhausted all your other options. I still say if you plan on being with someone you have to constantly check up on, then you probably need to find someone else. And I still say, snooping isn’t as wrong as anyone thinks – provided there’s just cause.
A Video EVERY Black Woman (and Black Men For That Matter) MUST SEE!
The exponential amount of truth in this video is outstanding. It’s a harsh reality StatuesqueOne portrays but SOMEONE needs to say it. SOMEONE needs to be the person to spell that shit out. Black women, we have ALL been guilty of this at one time or another. Black men, you need to watch this to understand us and feel where we’re coming from. Black women please watch this .. I guarantee you it will NOT be a wasted 10 minutes but an EYE-OPENING 10 minutes. We need to change how society looks at and regards us. No one else will so we have to.
“You must command respect in order to never have to DEMAND it. This is quiet power.”
All comments and discussion are welcome.
[Music]: *NEW* Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me
The ‘net is ablaze with word that the new single for Britney Spears’ 7th studio album has been released.
The STILL Princess of Pop has had people wondering when in January it was going to drop and a few days ago it was confirmed today or tomorrow would be the day.
I’m a HUGE Britney fan and I’ve stuck by her through all her trials and tribulations. I love the new sound they’re going with production wise and I’m SO glad she’s back. Anxiously waiting her album release.
It’s Britney BITCH.
EDIT: Sorry, guys, I had the video/DL link but youtube is on a rampage LOL! They’ve ALREADY taken the video down. Thank goodness I was able to get the track first! You’re going to have to do some digging. It’s out there tho 😉 Happy hunting!
Ted Williams Hugs His Mother For the First Time In Many Years
The moment we’ve all been waiting for – as has ted and Ms. Williams
Ted Williams Reunites With Mother After 10 Years
Such an emotional interview. I’m a sap – here practically crying at work almost!
Go here for the entire story and video footage!
Update: Ted Williams & Legality Issues
The ‘Golden Radio Voice’ guy — who went from homeless to overnight Internet sensation — is struggling to board a flight to NYC because he doesn’t have ID … according to his rep (yep, he’s got one now).
Ted Williams’ peeps tell us Ted is currently at the courthouse in Columbus, OH trying to get a copy of his birth certificate.
Ted is supposed to be in New York tomorrow for an interview on “Today” — but since he’s been homeless for more than four years he doesn’t have ID — so he’s been unable to board a flight.
It’s the first bad news Williams has had in 24 hours. He’s gotten a job offer, a home offer, and a free trip home to visit his mom — all because of the YouTube clip that went viral.
Ted’s rep says having to reestablish identity is a common problem for the homeless. Let’s hope someone has a plan B to get Ted to NYC. [SOURCE]
[Video]: Marsha Ambrosius – Far Away
I ADORE this song and I’m glad the video is finally here. It may be looked at as controversial but I LOVE it – I DONT CARE! It’s sad but its REAL. I love her for doing this because it shows that gay love is still just that – LOVE. You can’t help who you love and I think she’s amazing for shedding light on a relevant topic happening right now in society. Marsha looks BEAUTIFUL in it, too! LOVE the hair, girl!
Homeless Man Offered A Job By the Cleveland Cavs
I’m a bit late on this but this is a brief interview with a man claiming to have a God-given voice for radio and it’s not just a claim … it’s a FACT. His name is Ted Williams, he is currently homeless. Here he explains his life story briefly in just under a minute.
The video on YouTube has garnered over 4 million views in just over 24 hours. Talk about viral! Amazing!
Since the video made its way around the world, I’m happy to report that Ted has received an offer of not just a full-time job but also a mortgage on a home by the Cleveland Cavaliers. The story is below:
Ted Williams, a homeless man who is the subject of viral video that has captivated the internet at large, has been offered a full-time job and a mortgage on a home by Quicken Loans Arena and the Cleveland Cavaliers.
A woman named Tracy, representing Quicken Loans and the Cavaliers, called WNCI 97.9 on Wednesday morning and made the offer. CNBC’s Darren Rovell confirmed the authenticity of the offer on Twitter. Williams was inundated with offers throughout his appearance, so there is no word whether the offer has been accepted or signed at this point.
Williams story became a viral sensation on Tuesday with the original YouTube clip reaching more than four million views in 24 hours. He was found by a Columbus Dispatch reporter on the side of the road, using his incredible voice to collect money on the street. You can watch the original clip here.
The Cavaliers and Quicken Loans Arena are offering voiceover work in radio and television along with a new website launch that will require voiceover work from Williams.
You can hear the interview with Ted Williams on WNCI by clicking here.
The Cavaliers offer does not figure to be the last one that Williams receives. According to Rovell on Twitter, NFL Films is looking to contact the man dubbed the “Homeless D.J.” about work. Williams is also sorting through numerous opportunities for other appearance on national TV and radio, which could result in further offers in the days to come. [Source]
I can only imagine if this all works out a movie on this mans’ life will soon follow. I love GOOD news like this. It lifts my spirits and reiterates that there are still good and deserving people in this world. God bless him.
Taking Relationship Advice From Your Single Friends
Why is this an issue with some people? I see ALL the time, people saying “Never take advice from a single person. They won’t give you nothing but a jaded outlook and besides, they’re probably jealous of your relationship anyway.” or “Asking advice from single people is like asking parenting advice from someone that doesn’t have or want children.”
LMAO. What!? That’s the biggest amount of crap I’ve ever heard. People should stop putting themselves on a pedestal and flattering themselves. NO relationship is perfect, therefore NO ONE needs to be jealous of you and your partner, number one. Number two, parenting is WAY different from being taken vs. being single. You could have HAD a relationship and gained a great amount of knowledge from it but are now single but being a parent is something you absolutely HAVE to have had experienced before you can give out advice. The two are NOT the same and not comparable at all.
I know the problem stems mostly from women asking other women and men saying “Stop asking your bitter friends about love -they’ll only tell you I ain’t shit anyway” but the onus is on you to ask the right people. If you know you have bitter friends, don’t ask them about love. You should know better. I think that makes sense.
Here’s the thing: First of all, unless you asked your friend for advice no one should be giving it to you ANYWAY because that’s just drama waiting to happen but, if you DO ask for advice, are you saying you would only ask someone who’s currently in a relationship? Why?
Unless you have a friend that’s never been in a relationship to understand relationship woes, why would you not ask their opinion on something if you really needed to? As it was aforementioned, you wouldn’t ask a non-parent, parenting advice, so why would you ask a person that’s never been in a relationship for advice? BUT, know that JUST because they are single NOW it doesn’t mean they’ve always been single. They could VERY WELL have been in a relationship longer than the one you are in. They could VERY WELL have been in a relationship or two more than you have. Their advice is no less qualified than someone who’s currently involved. Furthermore, the person that’s in a relationship that you happen to ask could STILL be jealous of your relationship. Besides, what they’re going through in THEIR life could be the exact opposite of what you’re going through in yours, therefore they could STILL give you jaded and bad advice. Your relationship is YOURS. Their relationship is THEIRS.
Also, if you need to seek out the opinions of others with regards to your relationship, YOU could very well have a bigger issue. When you need opinions, depending on the topic at heart, you should very well be communicating openly and talking to your significant other, not spilling the beans and chatting your business to other people. All that being said, SOMETIMES you DO need advice from trusted friends and family and that’s fine but you shouldn’t be discriminating about who you ask JUST because they’re single. You could be missing out on life experiences that directly reflect the issue you may be curious about.
Don’t be so quick to judge and assume. You really end up looking stupid and immature when you say things that clearly haven’t been fully thought through. Some of my very best advice came from someone who had been where I currently was and by chance was now single but they VERY MUCH understood what I was going through and them offering me their perspective helped me to see things differently. People NOT in your same situation usually paint a very realistic picture while you remain blinded and jaded by love. You don’t HAVE to take their advice – you should definitely be making your own decisions – but others’ perspectives can often aid you in making a decision best for you.
People fail to realize that simply asking someone’s perspective on a topic is really not about their current relationship status but more on their life experiences and understanding of how relationships work. The only people you shouldnt be taking relationship advice from are people who have never HAD a relationship. DUH. What’s so hard to understand about this?
Having a significant other that is friends with ONLY single people (who fail to understand he or she has a commitment and can no longer do “single” things) is COMPLETELY different from sitting down and having a discussion about relationships and what someone’s thoughts are on a matter.
Know that difference.
Corprah Lanfrey 