I’m Still Talking Shit About This Play

26 December 2010 at 3:31 pm (Entertainment, Funny Things, Life, Random, Sports, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Eagles. All. Day.

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Where To Find Me On the Interwebs

2 October 2010 at 9:12 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Random, Site Information/Updates) (, , , , , , )


I don’t do this often but here is a list of all the places you will find me online:

****

Twitter:
http://twitter.com/cori_elle

Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/cori.elle or search: Cori Elle (Toronto, ON)

Tumblr:
http://cori-elle.tumblr.com/

Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/cori.elle
(i really dont go on this often)

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I Can Tell You RIGHT Now …

24 September 2010 at 11:58 am (#Kanyeshrug, Music, Random) (, , )


I’ll be IN LINE for when this album drops on Nov. 2, 2010.

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Social Media Doesn’t Ruin Relationships, People Do.

22 September 2010 at 2:52 pm (Love & Relationships, Random) (, , , , , , , , , )


Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of the troubles Facebook, Twitter and the internet as a whole can bring to a relationship, but let’s be clear here …. if your relationship isn’t solid,  social media outlets are only going to be fuel to an already raging fire.

I’ve had social media affect my relationships. How can they not? What your partner does online before your very eyes can be considered damning and disrespectful but at the end of the day, if you don’t trust them to do things like this ONLINE in front of your face, what do you think they do offline AWAY from you?

The bigger issue here is trust on a grander scale, not just trusting what your partner does on a website. If you can’t rely on your partner to do “the right thing” by you, by themselves and by your relationship, then Facebook, Twitter and the like are only a portion of your problem.

You can’t expect your partner to not flirt online if you do it yourself. You can’t expect to say “it’s just Facebook” if your partner is bothered by actions you’ve taken that hurt them.  You can’t write off what they say as insecurities or hogwash. Unless you deem them certifiably crazy, you’ve got to listen to their concerns and take them seriously. Then again, if you think they’re just insecure and crazy and making something out of nothing on a regular basis, why are you with them?

The inspiration behind this blog came from a guy I follow on Twitter, He said that if his girlfriend ever had Twitter, he wouldn’t follow her and maybe even block her because “twitter ruins relationships” to which I replied:  “So you would also have to make your page private so she couldn’t see what and who you tweet, right?”.  If I was his girlfriend, I’d think he had something to hide from me. He very well may not and may only be trying to preserve the relationship but I don’t much see the logic in preserving something that involves me all the while shutting me out JUST because you THINK what I see will cause me to act or feel a way. Why the secrecy? It’s an issue I’ve had to deal with personally and I’ve never been able to understand it or have someone explain it to me with validity.

There’s a difference between not being able to control what other people say, and doing things to others yourself. For example, if I was dating a guy and he had women fawning over him and complimenting him left and right I can’t fault HIM for it. Hell, if he’s sexy I can see why they would – but I would hold him accountable for how he responds to these women. If he says thank you and keeps it moving, good. If he engages in flirtatious banter, bad. If it’s the same girl over and over making suggestive comments then I’d hold them BOTH accountable. Her, for constantly chasing a man that’s taken and him for not making it clear he has a woman and isn’t interested. If that latter action is taken by him and she continues her pursuit, then she should be deleted because at that point she’s being blatantly disrespectful to me and my relationship and causing unnecessary trouble. This would seem easy, right? This would seem like the right thing to do but I’ve come across these situations, both personally and via other people’s’ stories to where the third-party was NOT deleted thus causing distrust and resentment.

Facebook, Twitter and such are only the means in which these people commit their  fuckery but its the PEOPLE in the situation ruining the relationship.

In a case like the one I mentioned all parties involved have a duty to handle the situation like mature adults and the two in the relationship will either make it a successful resolution or an unsuccessful one.

I don’t think its an insecurity or a “problem” for one party to voice their concerns about what is seen, said or done on a social networking site. I don’t think this makes anyone jealous. If it’s happening often you have to evaluate if they are doing it because you won’t make any changes or compromises or if they’re truly just trying to be controlling and demanding over you and the people you know. It’s a fine line, I understand but if their claims and examples are valid, where is the issue? There’s a level of comfort, patience and tolerance one can have when they feel threatened by someone infiltrating their relationship. A person will only take so much of someone interfering before they need to state their piece.  If you can’t understand or respect where they are coming from, the easiest thing to do is put yourself in their shoes.  Does it still seem so far-fetched then? I can bet you it doesn’t.

If you’re the type to chalk it up to the situation being “just online” then you have a deluded sense of reality. THESE days, even though a person can’t BLAME social media for the breakdown of a relationship, one CAN deduce that it can further crack an already broken foundation. What can “just be online” can quickly turn into something offline. Especially in my city. Everyone knows everyone and your paths WILL cross eventually.

Because of my personal experiences with this issue I’ve vowed to keep my relationship OFF the internet, at least until I’ve built a solid foundation with my partner. This doesn’t mean I’m going to allow certain things to slide should they happen but it just means my tolerance levels will be higher. I won’t have to worry about a third-party causing trouble if what he and I have is on point.

If you have trust issues with someone, they could shut down every account they have with a social networking site and it still won’t make you happy. If you don’t trust someone, you don’t trust someone. Period. Deleting accounts and certain troublemakers off those accounts may be a quick fix and a band-aid to an open wound but it’s not the resolution that will stand the test of time. Get your trust issues worked out and don’t blame a website for all your problems.

Take my word for it. I learned this the hard way.  And keep what’s closest to you and most private to YOURSELF. Allow people to know what you WANT them to know. What they NEED to know is subjective. The more you put yourself and your relationship out there for consumption, the more nosy people will be. There ARE assholes out there that like to cause trouble for no reason other than to do so. The last thing you’d want is to come across someone like that. If your relationship means that much to you, protect it at all costs …. by any means necessary – lol 😉

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Assume Accountability For Your Failed Relationships

21 September 2010 at 10:05 am (Love & Relationships, Random) (, , , , , , )


Its been so long since I’ve blogged. I want to start off by apologizing to my readers. My readership has dropped DRASTICALLY in the past couple of months, of no fault but my own. Life happens and the summer caused me to be a lot busier than usual but I promise with the cooler weather approaching I’ll become a hermit again and fresh material and posts will be up and running soon 🙂

All that being said, I wanted to speak on a topic that I’ve touched on before but never devoted an entire post to. There’s this dynamic with men and women where people are quick to talk about how waste people are. All men are dogs, don’t know how to treat a man, they’re worthless; all women are hoes, materialistic, gold diggers or too independent, blah blah. It’s annoying.

I don’t know how it is in other cities but in Toronto, there is a HUGE lack of coupling in the city. Most people are forgoing relationships to be single and just date with no intention of “catching feelings” or committing. It’s sad to me. I’m not sure if there is a fundamental reason for this or if times are just changing and fidelity is a thing of the past. Call me old fashioned or a hopeless romantic (I am!) but  what’s better than being in love and having someone to rely on and care for and about? What’s better than companionship and being with ONE person that can and will satisfy your every needs? I’ve been on both ends of that spectrum and while being single is fun and exciting it’s really un-fulfilling. I know a lot of people enjoy being single but after a while that shit gets old. After awhile, everyone wants to be with someone. So why are people staying single longer and shunning commitment?

My age group (25+) may have JUST missed this way of thinking but people 25 and under seem to be really unaware of what this mindset will do for the generations below them. I won’t even touch the topic of marriage and kids out-of-wedlock because that’s another thing in and of itself but just relationships in general, having a significant other, and being in a committed relationship seems so FOREIGN to so many people nowadays.

Everyone wants to complain about the lack of “good men or women” but one can only do that for so long.  Usually, if you are meeting the wrong men or having failed relationship after failed relationship wouldn’t the right thing to do be to “look at yourself”? People need to start taking accountability for their failed relationships. Period. You can’t talk about how there are so many waste wo/men out there and blame wo/men for all your foils. Did you ever stop to think that maybe the problem lies with YOU? Did you ever think that maybe you SUCK at picking the right partner? Maybe that your judgement in people is lacking? Maybe you’re making consistently poor choices? I’m not preaching because I’ve BEEN there. I’ve played the blame game. I’ve pointed my finger. I’ve also learned the hard way. I was thinking for the longest time I was just unlucky in love but really, I was just falling for the wrong type of man. I was looking to change people or “save” people. Once I pointed the finger back at me and took time to see what I was doing wrong I started meeting better people. I started having more successful relationships. One thing I CAN’T shake is who I attract though. LMAO. But that’s neither here nor there.

All I’m trying to say is, if you’re constantly alone and upset or depressed about the person in your life and where your relationship isn’t headed, then flip the script. You have nothing to lose. Take a good long hard look at yourself. Look at how you live your life and how you conduct yourself. Try and see if you would like you if you were someone else. Try and see yourself how others view you. This doesn’t mean the people that would hate on you, or talk shit because Lord knows those people shouldn’t matter to you. I’m talking about your friends and family.  It’s not easy doing this but there’s that saying “lie to others but never lie to yourself”. If you can be honest with yourself, you may learn a lot. And you cannot change what you don’t know or fail to see.

If you actually WANT a serious relationship with a GOOD man or woman, then you need to find out what it is you’ve done wrong, correct it and start applying what you want out of a partner to your life. If you want a successful wo/man, then you need to be successful yourself. You cannot expect to meet a someone who has all the qualities and things you yourself don’t have or aren’t in the process of achieving. My personal philosophy is to never, ever expect a man to have or do for me the things I don’t have or won’t do for him in return. It’s easier said than done, I know, but if you think about it, a relationship is much more than just that. It’s a partnership. If you aren’t with the person that can work with you and make you better, than you aren’t with the RIGHT one.

Stop complaining about all the bad that’s out there. There are a LOT of good men and women left but most of you are looking in the wrong places. And mistaking known ASSHOLES for “good” people.  You cannot change anyone. You cannot form anyone’s personality or demeanor. You have to meet someone and accept them AS THEY ARE which is why when you are looking for a mate you look for compatibility. The flaws they have will be flaws you can overlook because they’re minor and no one is perfect.

Be a better person in your OWN life and what you get out of life (in this case your relationships) will be better because of it. I promise you. Try it, faithfully, and tell me I’m wrong. I double-triple dare you 😉

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Are You Really Cockblocking If You’re Telling the Truth?

18 July 2010 at 8:08 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random) (, , , , , , , , )


I woke up the other morning to a bunch of emails on my Blackberry.

Anyone that’s on Facebook knows if you comment on someone’s picture you’ll get notifications that someone else commented after you. My emails stated the same chick commented on about 3 (or maybe it was 4 – don’t remember) pictures after me.

I get these messages ALL the time. I never pay attention but this time I did. The name was familiar to me. As well as the pictures she was commenting on. They were pictures of my ex. An ex from back when I was 20/21. This ex is not someone I talk to on a very regular basis but we are still good friends and we always have great conversations and still respect one another. It was this respect that made me do what I’m about to show you. I want to state that I grappled with doing this for about a week but I felt like, truthfully, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. What I’m about to show you some would say is “cock-blocking” (or for the sake of who’s involved – “pussy blocking”). But really?

Is it pussy blocking if I don’t want the guy and I’m telling the truth?

So, I hit him up and was like “What’s the deal with this broad?” and of course he wanted to know the history, why I was asking, etc, etc. I was honest and told him that this girl and I had never met face to face but that I had had interactions with her online. I explained we had some mutual friends. I explained that I didn’t knock the girl as far as her looks (she’s a pretty girl) and I wouldn’t talk about her being a whore or slut, even though I’d heard things (because who really knows anyone’s bedroom antics but the people involved?). All I could speak to was what I’d witnessed and read from her OWN accord. I told him flat-out I think she’s a bitch. She’s arrogant, self-centered, conceited and stuck up. I also said (from a personal standpoint) that she’s not a nice person. I could give you a couple of examples as to why I say this but the one that sticks out the most is: she tried to bright herself on a forum I used to belong to. Shortly before my grandmother succumbed to lung cancer, a few years ago, I had asked for prayers for her and my family and this bitch had the nerve to question why I was online (never mind the fact it was late at night and I had work the next morning) and stated I should have been with my grandmother at this time. She had no idea how severe (or lack thereof) the situation was. She just felt it was fine to make an unnecessary statement. When I read that (as well as remembered previous petty and snarky remarks she had made towards me unprovoked) I realized she wasn’t genuinely concerned for me. Had she been, I’d have allowed the comment but the word choice and blatant disregard for compassion pissed me off and it was then and there I realized I didn’t like this wench.

So, flash forward a few years later I see this trick is now trying to get in good with my ex? I had to let him know what I knew. Always fact. NEVER fiction. I didn’t even tell him about the aforementioned story because my personal dislike of her really didn’t have anything to do with me warning him about who she was as a person. I kept it straight and to the point.

I don’t want my ex back. We dated over 8 years ago and I’m very, very happy with the man I’m with now. But as I said, I consider him a good friend and he is an even better person. I know what he deserves, I know what he doesn’t. Quite simply, she’s just not good enough for him. Of course this isn’t my choice to make for him. But I believe EVERYONE has the right to know what they’re getting into. He needs to know her “nigga” of choice is a “street/thug nigga.” And he is NONE of those things. He’s a good, hard working man that has NEVER looked on that lifestyle as a good thing. Furthermore, he’s never been the type to look twice at females that do. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t pulling the wool over his eyes. If I was being spiteful or vindictive or if I wanted him, I’d be the first to admit my bias in the matter would be and should be questioned but it really and truly is about nothing more than me not wanting to see him with someone like her or worse, see him hurt. He deserves better.  Period. I am aware that this could make me look like a “hater” or a “cock blocker” but I don’t see it. I feel like I’m helping a friend make an informed decision. I would only hope he or any other of my friends would do the same for me.

Would this be a different story if this guy was a friend only and not an ex? Would it be different if I didn’t know the girl? (Of course it would). Would it be different if my ex was instead a female friend and the girl a guy? There are so many factors at work here and every situation is different. I even told him: “Fuck her, date her, have a good time with her but if you wife her I’ll object.” LOL! I said it jokingly but somewhat meant it.

In any event, if I have loyalty to anyone, it’s to him. And I did my part.  It’s in his hands now. I trust his judgement and I know he can’t be played or made a fool of. Knowing this is why I second guess if what I did was correct. If she’s all the things I say she is then he would see it without me having to tell him but life is too short to waste your time on chicks. Why shouldn’t I help out and speed up the inevitable? Straight up.

Besides, at at the end of the day KARMA IS A MOTHERFUCKER! Don’t talk shit about or to people you don’t know because one day you may find yourself liking some random guy you met online and his ex will be the first person to tell him what a BITCH you are.

😉

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Internet & Texting Made Me Anti-Social!

29 May 2010 at 7:40 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Random, technology) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The title of the blog says it all. I’ve been active on the internet for about 10 years now. Heavily so for about six. What I mean by heavily is that I frequent social networking sites and as you know, I blog. Aside from the ‘net, there’s the case of my phone (I own a Blackberry Bold 9700) and how IT has made me a slave to technology.

I rarely call people anymore. I’m more liable to use the computer or my phone to reach someone. It’s just quicker and almost all the people I know feel the same way. A lot of people won’t answer their phone but will answer fast as HELL to a text or BBM. I rarely make phone calls to my friends. Even my boyfriend and I rarely talk on the phone. We talk when we see each other, otherwise we text and BBM. Usually when I make an actual call, it’s to my mother.

For me, and maybe for others, talking on the phone requires me to give the person on the other end my undivided attention. To sit and have a conversation means to be an active listener with no distractions. In MY life there is ALWAYS some form of a distraction. If I text you or BBM or IM you I’m better able to multi-task. All I have to do is take a couple of seconds to reply/respond and then I can carry on doing what I was doing with little to no interruptions. I don’t think this is a bad thing necessarily but it DOES pose some problems. I’m no stranger to what I’m about to say. My words apply to myself as well. LOL.

When you start to rely on these forms of communication you almost become ignorant to how to interact with people in day-to-day life.  For those of us that work and are constantly around others from day-to-day we should consider ourselves lucky. Because we have that we will never become complete slaves to technology. For those of you that don’t get out (even just to a job) I feel for you. You probably are all kinds of messed up but anyway, I digress.

Even recently I’ve felt like I wasn’t as “quick” or “witty” on a phone call I was having as I am online. That’s not to say I take LONGER to type out a status or a tweet it just means that I seem to have more character online. WHY IS THAT? Anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I’m the same online as I am off but there is definitely a distinct difference between the two when it comes to my wit. This is only an example, tho. I notice little things. Little things like the fact that I swear more online, that I use words that I shouldn’t more online, that I deliver a joke better online and more. It could very well be because I have always, long before the days of the internet, expressed myself better with words. I AM a writer, you know ;). I notice these things about myself because I know me best but I wonder if it translates onto others and their perception of me? I hope not.

Another problem technology creates is the hate of people. I generally dislike humans. Why? I don’t trust them. Too many times have I come across people who don’t really act the same online as they do off. You have people acting out-of-pocket and out of character because the internet enables anyone to be who they desire to be rather than who they actually are. This, along with other factors, have caused me to look at people different, be more mistrusting and skeptical.  It’s hard to believe in people when all you see is a fabrication. I hate that this is now a trait of mine but that’s just how it is I suppose.

I definitely would like to get out of this technological funk but I’m a child of the times. This is what I know. Maybe the older I get the less I’ll be technologically inclined. Or maybe my knowledge will only get better with time and I’ll eventually become a decrepit hermit.

Or maybe I just need to learn to pick up my phone and SAY hello every now and then rather than type it.

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Trust.

2 April 2010 at 12:06 pm (Love & Relationships, Lyrics & Quotes, Random) (, , , )


“I will trust you to the end of the earth and back. I will trust you until you give me a reason not to but the minute that trust is gone, you will find it hard as hell to get back.” © Corprah Lanfrey

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Guess Who Got A Tumblr?

24 March 2010 at 10:14 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Entertainment, Funny Things, Just For Fun!, Life, Love & Relationships, Lyrics & Quotes, Random, Raves, Site Information/Updates, Sites To Check For) (, )


Hey Readers!

Just what I need, right? LOL … ANOTHER blog. But what can I do? I’m a blogging ADDICT! Check me out on >>> TUMBLR <<< and follow me. I’ll be sure to do the same.

Love,
Corprah xo

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Not Everyone Is A Respectful Someone

21 March 2010 at 2:46 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random, Rants) (, , , , , , )


If you flirt with me and you aren’t single and I KNOW that, your girl would probably never have a problem with me. Why? Cuz I’d ignore you and dismiss you. Men: DO NOT FLIRT WITH ME WHEN YOU HAVE A WOMAN! This shouldn’t be rocket science but a lot of you people in relationships seem to think flirting is OK or acceptable. Unless the two of you have talked about it AT LENGTH and don’t think flirting with others is an issue in your relationship – don’t do it.

Even if you say to me: “my girl won’t care, she knows I love her” I still won’t flirt with you. I find that to be so disrespectful and while I don’t have to like or respect your girl, I do respect the fact a relationship is being had and I wouldn’t want that done to me. Period. Karma is a bitch. And I hate bitches.

Not everyone views relationships the way I do, though. They’ll say shit like “what so and so doesn’t know won’t hurt them” or “he/she does it, so why can’t I?” or “I don’t owe that person anything; she better worry about their man” …. and yes, the latter statement may very well be true but that doesn’t mean you stoop to such a low-level that you infiltrate someone’s relationship and truly believe there wont be any consequences. There are MANY single people out there to mess around with, why do you think its cool to mess with someone that already has someone? WHY do you think, as an involved party in a relationship, that it’s OK to step away from your partner and seek the attention or desire from someone else? Jokes are jokes but be aware that there is a fine line and if you cross it there’s no turning back.

Some of you people need to start making wiser choices within your relationships or just don’t BE IN ONE.  What you are lacking in your relationship your partner WILL find in someone else. Believe this. I’ve seen it happen. I don’t get wanting of the cake and eating it too mentality. You can have ur cake and eat it too with MANY different people (if you’re about that) without involving emotional feelings of others! If you WANT a relationship, want it  all or no dice – just be single.  And if after awhile you realize that a relationship isn’t for you, tell your partner and get out of it before you HURT someone! There’s no reason to drag someone else into your selfish ego-stroking agenda.

Relationships these days have me SO jaded! Can’t you tell? haha!

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