Taking Relationship Advice From Your Single Friends

4 January 2011 at 8:57 pm (Love & Relationships, Rants) (, , , , , , , , )

Why is this an issue with some people? I see ALL the time, people saying “Never take advice from a single person. They won’t give you nothing but a jaded outlook and besides, they’re probably jealous of your relationship anyway.” or “Asking advice from single people is like asking parenting advice from someone that doesn’t have or want children.”

LMAO. What!? That’s the biggest amount of crap I’ve ever heard. People should stop putting themselves on a pedestal and flattering themselves. NO relationship is perfect, therefore NO ONE needs to be jealous of you and your partner, number one. Number two, parenting is WAY different from being taken vs. being single. You could have HAD a relationship and gained a great amount of knowledge from it but are now single but being a parent is something you absolutely HAVE to have had experienced before you can give out advice. The two are NOT  the same and not comparable at all.

I know the problem stems mostly from women asking other women and men saying “Stop asking your bitter friends about love -they’ll only tell you I ain’t shit anyway” but the onus is on you to ask the right people. If you know you have bitter friends, don’t ask them about love. You should know better. I think that makes sense.

Here’s the thing: First of all, unless you asked your friend for advice no one should be giving it to you ANYWAY because that’s just drama waiting to happen but, if you DO ask for advice, are you saying you would only ask someone who’s currently in a relationship? Why?

Unless you have a friend that’s never been in a relationship to understand relationship woes, why would you not ask their opinion on something if you really needed to? As it was aforementioned, you wouldn’t ask a non-parent, parenting advice, so why would you ask a person that’s never been in a relationship for advice? BUT, know that JUST because they are single NOW it doesn’t mean they’ve always been single. They could VERY WELL have been in a relationship longer than the one you are in. They could VERY WELL have been in a relationship or two more than you have. Their advice is no less qualified than someone who’s currently involved. Furthermore, the person that’s in a relationship that you happen to ask could STILL be jealous of your relationship. Besides, what they’re going through in THEIR life could be the exact opposite of what you’re going through in yours, therefore they could STILL give you jaded and bad advice. Your relationship is YOURS. Their relationship is THEIRS.

Also, if you need to seek out the opinions of others with regards to your relationship, YOU could very well have a bigger issue. When you need opinions, depending on the topic at heart, you should very well be communicating openly and talking to your significant other, not spilling the beans and chatting your business to other people. All that being said, SOMETIMES you DO need advice from trusted friends and family and that’s fine but you shouldn’t be discriminating about who you ask JUST because they’re single. You could be missing out on life experiences that directly reflect the issue you may be curious about.

Don’t be so quick to judge and assume. You really end up looking stupid and immature when you say things that clearly haven’t been fully thought through. Some of my very best advice came from someone who had been where I currently was and by chance was now single but they VERY MUCH understood what I was going through and them offering me their perspective helped me to see things differently. People NOT in your same situation usually paint a very realistic picture while you remain blinded and jaded by love. You don’t HAVE to take their advice – you should definitely be making your own decisions – but others’ perspectives can often aid you in making a decision best for you.

People fail to realize that simply asking someone’s perspective on a topic is really not about their current relationship status but more on their life experiences and understanding of how relationships work. The only people you shouldnt be taking relationship advice from are people who have never HAD a relationship. DUH. What’s so hard to understand about this?

Having a significant other that is friends with ONLY single people (who fail to understand he or she has a commitment and can no longer do “single” things) is COMPLETELY different from sitting down and having a discussion about relationships and what someone’s thoughts are on a matter.

Know that difference.


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How Many Times Must A Man Be Told!?

27 June 2010 at 5:46 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Rants, WTF!?)

So this past weekend must’ve been the weekend that my exes or guys I’ve dated decided to band together and hit me up. I’m not trying to brag or boast because there’s nothing to brag about. Not on these guys, anyway. I’m simply trying to make sense of why certain guys keep coming back even though they’ve been told not to! I’m wondering if there is a common theme of regret and guilt over the way they acted or if it’s something else.

Three guys. Three different scenarios. Let’s start shall we?

Remember awhile back I blogged about a guy that thought it would be cute to think I’d be dumb enough to be the sidepiece he’d cheat on his girl with? Well he hit me up via text at random on Friday while I was at work. I was quite cold and callous with him. I mean, if you’re familiar with the story, don’t you think I should’ve been!? I asked him what he wanted and did he forget our last conversation? He admitted he did (what else is new?) and continued to ask me how I’ve been, how’s my day going, and etc. I’m like this fool really has NO idea what happened between us. Some of you men (and I use that term loosely) have such selective memories. I believe I again asked him what he wanted in a more blunt manner to which he replied: “Why are you being so mean. Dang! I was just trying to be nice. Forget it, enjoy the rest of your day.” I started to laugh. I’m thinking, are you serious right now? Is that supposed to make me feel bad? ME being mean to the likes of YOU? On to the next one. Apparently, his reasoning for hitting me up was that I “came across his mind and he wanted to see how I’ve been” then he proceeds to say “Kinda strange huh?” …. Um ….. Negro, fuck you. That is all. I can’t even type anymore about him because he just sets every last cell in my body ablaze with disgust. Go run your girl some more bubble baths or something you misguided-romantic fool.

Guy #2 is a little harder for me to be disgusted by, although he frustrates me to no end. I loved him very much and he was not the easiest person to love. He admittedly didn’t have anything going for him but we were friends first and I saw through all his problems and just loved him for him. In a time where I was not trusting of men and relationships I allowed him to get the best of me and we had quite the tumultuous yet passionate relationship. Needless to say we split up over some stupid shit and he REALLY made me look stupid in front of his friends and family and just treated me REALLY REALLY bad during the breakup. To that he says he was young, naive, stupid and just not a good person. I’m always telling him to let it go, leave it alone, move on but he won’t. He says he can’t. He knows what he did was wrong and never, ever fails to apologize to me for it. I put a snippet of last night’s MSN convo on my tumblr should you wish to view it. His regret and guilt runs VERY deep. He’s convinced I was “the one” for him and refuses to let me go. Apparently, there was a time in our relationship where he told me he let his wall down for me, let me in, and that I’m stuck with him because once that wall comes down, he can’t put it back up. My homeboy says I’m being too hard on him but between him and my LDR of 3 yrs – I just can’t give chances to people who have hurt me that badly. I love myself too much to put myself through all that again. I guess I don’t have to be such a bitch to him but I don’t even see the point of being friends. He says since he knows he’ll never get me back he’ll settle for me just being his friend but I know what his ultimate goal is and I know he’ll never achieve it. It would be unfair of me to give him false hope by agreeing to be his friend again. The thing is, at the end of the day I can always forgive but I’ll never forget and because of that, his treatment of me will ALWAYS  be in the back of my mind. Forgiveness aside, resentment is a bitch. And I VERY much resent him.

Third guy got shut down VERY quick. My bbm went off around 1am last night. He said “Yo”, I said “Hi” … He said “What’s up?” I said, “Nothing”. That was that. Don’t talk to me and make small talk. I know the only reason he wants to talk is because he wants coochie. I’m not the one. No THANK you.

I’m liable to believe guy #1 and guy #3 were both bored and that’s why they decided to hit me up. Maybe it was more … I believe it was less. In any event, they pissed me off. I’m not someone you can run back to. I’m too nice and accommodating. I MUST be for these idiots to think they can keep hitting me up every few weeks to “say hello”. I make it VERY clear I want nothing to do with them but what am I supposed to do short of changing my number? Lately, I’ve been exercising my right to bitch a fool out. Rather than ignore them like I usually do, I’ve been making my stance on how I feel about people VERY clear. Why can’t a guy get it though? I feel as if you men almost like when you hear no. Grow up. The challenge in getting a woman who doesn’t want you is stupid. When a woman says NO she MEANS NO! How many meanings can you give “leave me alone” or “go away” ??? I thought those two statements only meant one thing and one thing only. Am I missing something here?

In MY specific situation, I know all 3 guys have regrets and feel a way about how we ended or split up and so they always try to see if they can smooth things over and make things right. For what? Could be many things. It could be emotional, sexual or just the thrill of seeing if they still have it. No matter the reason, it’s annoying because I have never done anything to invite this unwelcome saying of hello.

If there is anyone that has suggestions of what I could or should be doing that I haven’t already tried then PLEASE let me know. Being nice didn’t work. Being an asshole isn’t working. What gives!?

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G20 Brief Thoughts (Non-Political)

27 June 2010 at 1:30 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Campaigns, Local Events, News, Politics, Rants, Toronto Life, World Issues, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

I’m not going to sit here and go into what the actual G20 summit is about … I’m gonna say something extremely brief, short, sweet and to the point about what’s been happening in my city of Toronto these past couple of days.

First and foremost: all you idiots that came from far to come and mash up my city need to go back to wherever you came from and mind your own. This shit has gotten out of control. What are you really protesting about? When the first car was set ablaze I said on twitter: “If this unrest continues over the rest of the weekend, how much of it will really be about the G20?” This weekend is just an excuse for SOME people to wreck havoc and cause chaos. GTFO of my city with all that there bullshit. This is embarrassing Toronto. Canadians don’t get down like this. For the ones that do, I’m appalled at the behaviours of the city’s citizens. But at the same time, I’m not surprised either (if that makes any sense).

I’m just happy that so far there have been no major injuries or human casualties because that would just set me over the edge.

In conclusion: here’s a word to the masses that wanna damage Toronto: if you fuck up a Tim Horton’s people will burn you at the stake. Timmy’s is a national treasure. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, SON!

Photo Credits: Tosha Dash (1&2), Jay Jones (3&4), Zoi the Femcee (5)

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I Won’t Let My Girl Do That!

24 May 2010 at 2:30 pm (Love & Relationships, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , )

I was laying in bed this morning having a conversation with someone about relationships, sex, wifey’s vs. hoes and etc.

We got onto the subject of men wanting a “freak in the sheets and a lady in the streets” and I said I was convinced that regardless of what men SAY they actually would take a “good girl” that’s OK or not so good in bed over a girl who was great in bed but maybe not so great in other areas (like being a good girlfriend). He told me I was wrong because for HIM if he took the girl who was OK in bed, he’s sure he would cheat on her within weeks.

Now, this isn’t to say we think sex is the most important part of a relationship – it isn’t. We did agree, however, that it’s up there. It’s important to have that compatibility and familiarity with your partner. It’s important to have passion and that bond physically with someone you are committed to, otherwise infidelity will rear its ugly head. How many times have you heard that when men cheat it’s just all about sex; nothing more, nothing less but when women cheat there is a degree of emotion involved? I believe that to be hogwash. If it was JUST sex when a man cheated why would he continue to go back to the same woman over and over. He’s getting what he wants. On more than just a sexual level and if what he wants he’s getting from someone other than his woman, WHY is he with her?

I brought up the fact that a lot of men will never wife a “freak” because for some the word “freak” is synonymous with the word “hoe”. Most people should know better but that’s the stigma that’s attached. It is how it is. A hoe and a freak do not HAVE to be the same thing. A woman could be her man’s personal freak and do all the things sexually to keep him happy and satisfied. This doesn’t make her a hoe. See what I mean? However, some guys refuse to differentiate the two. This is unfair.

The guy I was having this conversation with spoke of a guy he knew and how this guy wouldn’t allow his girl to give him oral pleasure. In the six years they’ve been together she’s never given him head once. “But when he wants his dick sucked he goes and cheats on her, doesn’t he?”  I asked. It felt more like a statement because I already knew the answer. The question was confirmed and my boy said his friend replied with “I wouldn’t let her do that. She’s the wife. She could be the mother of my children.”  How is it logical that you have a woman you love and respect and are with for 6 years but you can justify cheating on her because she’s wifey and wifey doesn’t do these sorts of things? To me that’s the most illogical bull crap I’ve ever heard. Your partner should be willing to do anything needed to keep you happy and satisfied, sexually, spiritually, emotionally … and it goes without saying that this works BOTH ways.

Why NOT do all the nasty, pleasurable, freaky things with your life partner than with some random chick? Sexuality is whatever you are comfortable with.You should be comfortable with your partner. I would never want my man to step out on me to get pleasure from someone else when I’m more than capable of giving it to him. In the case of the guy my boy told me about though, it appears that his woman never even had a chance or a choice. There’s a difference between willing to please and not knowing how or being able but when you aren’t even given the chance, that’s messed up!

Why would someone think that giving head is something only “hoes do” and wifed girls don’t do? Its 2010. WHY is there still a stigma attached to oral sex? My boy says it’s about trust. He tried to explain to me that the reason some men feel this way is because they figure if a girl is willing to do all these “freaky” things with them, chances are a man before them also experienced these things and guys don’t want to know some other man had what they have currently. But come on, unless you sleep with a virgin this is inevitable. Be secure and comfortable with your sexuality. That’s an insecurity issue. If you aren’t secure enough to be in a sexually mature relationship then DON’T BE IN ONE. Simple.

All this being said though, it makes me wonder. Should I be the kind of female that scales back her freakiness so that I can become wifed and take my chances of being cheated on or should I be true to my sexual self and be how I am and not have a relationship because a man thinks I’m a hoe because I do freaky things in the bedroom? WHAT KIND OF OPTIONS ARE THOSE? As a sexually independent woman, those options SUCK. Be a freak and be labelled a hoe and have no relationships or be a good girl in a relationship having basic sex with my man so he can go get freaked out by another woman (who – in his eyes is likely a  hoe). LOL! Illogical fuckery.

I know that not all guys feel this way but I’ve had this conversation with more than a few men and sadly I know more guys that feel this way than ones that don’t. I can usually understand where people are coming from regarding these things and I can see both sides to everything whether I agree or not but on THIS particular issue I can’t see the logic AT ALL. I don’t condone cheating or misleading anyone and I feel like if you want a girl that’s a freak then wife a girl that’s a freak – and again this doesn’t mean you wife a hoe. You wife a girl who keeps her freaky dealings behind closed doors. A girl that is what you want in private. There are women out there that are like that. Yes, it may be hard to find but when is finding your partner ever easy? A lot of things are hard to find these days. You know what it comes down to, though? Not rushing into things with people. Communicating. That’s it, that’s all.

If more people were communicating OPENLY about sex and sexuality before they got into a relationship, a lot of bullshit could be avoided later on. Sex shouldn’t be breaking up a partnership. Finances, lies, deceit (not sexually related) and other situations should be what contributes to a break up. Sex is easy. Sex feels good. Sex is pleasure. There is no reason why a couple should be breaking up over it. If you want head then why not have the woman you desire most give it to you? Wouldn’t it feel better? Wouldn’t it mean more? If she’s a prude and doesn’t do that then why did you even “wife” her in the first place? Cheating, no matter how you justify it is wrong, and if the woman you’ve been with for 6 years is too much of a Queen to suck your dick but some hoe in the street is, then maybe relationships and all they stand for just aren’t for you.

Find out what the hell you want, stop wasting people’s time.

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Not Everyone Is A Respectful Someone

21 March 2010 at 2:46 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random, Rants) (, , , , , , )

If you flirt with me and you aren’t single and I KNOW that, your girl would probably never have a problem with me. Why? Cuz I’d ignore you and dismiss you. Men: DO NOT FLIRT WITH ME WHEN YOU HAVE A WOMAN! This shouldn’t be rocket science but a lot of you people in relationships seem to think flirting is OK or acceptable. Unless the two of you have talked about it AT LENGTH and don’t think flirting with others is an issue in your relationship – don’t do it.

Even if you say to me: “my girl won’t care, she knows I love her” I still won’t flirt with you. I find that to be so disrespectful and while I don’t have to like or respect your girl, I do respect the fact a relationship is being had and I wouldn’t want that done to me. Period. Karma is a bitch. And I hate bitches.

Not everyone views relationships the way I do, though. They’ll say shit like “what so and so doesn’t know won’t hurt them” or “he/she does it, so why can’t I?” or “I don’t owe that person anything; she better worry about their man” …. and yes, the latter statement may very well be true but that doesn’t mean you stoop to such a low-level that you infiltrate someone’s relationship and truly believe there wont be any consequences. There are MANY single people out there to mess around with, why do you think its cool to mess with someone that already has someone? WHY do you think, as an involved party in a relationship, that it’s OK to step away from your partner and seek the attention or desire from someone else? Jokes are jokes but be aware that there is a fine line and if you cross it there’s no turning back.

Some of you people need to start making wiser choices within your relationships or just don’t BE IN ONE.  What you are lacking in your relationship your partner WILL find in someone else. Believe this. I’ve seen it happen. I don’t get wanting of the cake and eating it too mentality. You can have ur cake and eat it too with MANY different people (if you’re about that) without involving emotional feelings of others! If you WANT a relationship, want it  all or no dice – just be single.  And if after awhile you realize that a relationship isn’t for you, tell your partner and get out of it before you HURT someone! There’s no reason to drag someone else into your selfish ego-stroking agenda.

Relationships these days have me SO jaded! Can’t you tell? haha!

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Interracial Dating

13 February 2010 at 7:03 pm (Love & Relationships, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It’s not that I’m against interracial dating. I’d be silly to be against it.  I come from a family where EVERYONE is mixed with something – myself included. What I have a problem with is the reasons behind why some people do it. I try to not pass judgement or make assumptions as to why a couple may be together but when you observe the masses as much as I do you get to know who’s genuinely in love and who’s just in lust and who’s just doing it for the experience. I’m not so much griping about the people that do it for the experience though. It’s human nature to be curious and hey, through experience you learn and build knowledge. To each his own.

Earlier in the week, John Mayer had the internet going crazy with his comments about dating black women (or his lack of dating black women) and his use of the “N” word. This isn’t the blog for me to express my opinions on THAT subject but I’ll say this: #1. I don’t care that he used the word. I really don’t. #2. John Mayer needs some chocolate in his lil perfect lily white life. LOL.

Ok, no …  all jokes aside there is a difference between loving who someone is and loving someone for who you think them to be. For example, when I see a black man in the street with a white woman on his arm my first instinct is NOT to recoil, turn my head, roll my eyes or kiss my teeth. Like my girl, Darcel says, I’m NOT gonna “sista girl” you to death. It’s not my place to judge you and your relationship but I find that it’s usually the white woman who has an issue with ME when we pass. She may reach for his hand or grip up his arm as if to let me know he’s with HER and SHE may stare ME down thinking I may have something to say about being with a brotha. Chick, PLEASE. If he’s with YOU then clearly he’s not interested in ME. Same could be said for ANY race. As a black woman I get those looks from asian, white and even indian women. Get over yourselves. NO ONE wants your man and NO ONE is going to look at you sideways for dating someone who doesn’t have the same skin colour as you. Especially not I.

To be somewhat fair, I’ll say that I understand SOME white women (especially, white women) experience some foul treatment from SOME black women and so they are immediately on the defensive. I get that but to that I always say this: if you are confident in your relationship and you know what you and your man have is based on real and genuine love and not some stereotypical phase then DO YOU and don’t even THINK to play into what people may have to feel or say about it. And more often than not, the mature, classy women are the ones that “get it”.

I find the aforementioned females that grip their man’s hand or stare me down are what I call “she think she hood” chicks. These are white girls (not to be confused with women) that think they’re hood (or “ghetto”) if you will. They basically take every negative or stupid stereotype about black people and perpetuate it to the 1000th degree. They adopt all the style, slang and movements of a black person that’s emulated on BET and go even farther with it. They even attach black girl weave to their silky blond hair! Now, let’s stop there for a moment. I KNOW white women wear extensions to make their hair appear fuller and longer … yes, yes I know this. I’m NOT ignorant but I’m talking about the weave that is worn to emulate BLACK HOOD CHICKS. Do we need a picture? You know the ones I’m talking about. ANYHOW … they’re the ones that ONLY like black men due to whatever reason: the big dick rumours, the Mandingo / best lover stereotype, the swagger, etc etc. They usually talk with a “ghetto” arrogance and maybe even have a horribly fake West Indian accent. One would think this is how YOUNG girls act but I know quite a few females my age that have this same attitude towards black men. Shame on them. Shame on YOU.

I don’t like seeing that. THAT is what bothers me. I don’t like seeing trophy chicks of ANY race on the arm of a black man. I just want people to love who they are. Love who they are with and stop dating someone based on a blatant lie you were told. NOT all black men have huge dicks. TRUST ME. Obviously, I haven’t seen all black penises but it only takes seeing ONE black man with a tinky winky to disapprove this stereotype.

I ALSO hate the people that say they ONLY date a certain race. How are you SO close minded and wack? How can you think an entire race is better than another for you to ONLY date them? This goes WELL beyond having a preference as well – so save that bull.

EVERYTHING I’ve said can be attributed to any race … black women dating white men and etc. We can go on and on about black women being “white washed” and dating a white man but I can’t sit here and talk about an experience I’ve never had. I see it but I’ve never had a black girl look at me when she was with her white man. I just haven’t.

I went out with and dated a white guy a couple times and I had white women literally shoot me daggers when I was with him in public. Sometimes I even feel like white guys love to date and fuck us black women but they wouldn’t marry us or bring us home to the folks. This may seem like a harsh thing to say but this is what I feel. My feelings are not facts nor do I pass them off as facts so please don’t argue with me about how I feel. I know not ALL white men feel this way as my step-father is a white man and he married my mother and his family accepted her and myself with OPEN arms.

The purpose of me writing this blog is to educate people on how their behaviours are viewed by others on the outside looking in. I often wonder if people even REALIZE they are doing half the shit they do. I want to believe they do but maybe its easier to believe they don’t.

If it’s too much to ask for someone to be themselves and date outside their race without thinking they need to become another race to be “down” then so be it. I’m not going to stop feeling disgusted at seeing “she think she hood” chicks with a guy when I know her ass grew up on Mississauga Road or in Cambridge. FOH.


And for the record, black men aren’t all you women have them cracked up to be. They aren’t any more special than any other race. Judge a man for what he is about and not the colour of his skin. Idiots. You’re the same ones complaining about not being able to find a good man but your track record states you aren’t dating anyone but hustlers and guys that think a 9 to 5 is below  them. Oh, and sometimes they beat and cheat on you on the regular, too. LOL.

True love IS indeed colour blind. Wake up.

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YOU Display Your Own Truths

2 February 2010 at 7:33 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , )

I had a great conversation on BBM earlier with a gentleman that shall remain nameless. It caused me to snap on Twitter about ten minutes ago lol … Reason being: he is the true epitome of REAL. I’ve known him a long time and we’re pretty close and never once have I seen him act different around other people, online or around me. He’s just always the same guy. I rate that. Then, on a daily basis, I enounter guys that act completely different on so many levels its extremely hard to know who they REALLY are. I don’t understand this phenomenon but I find it completely fascinating. Why does ANYONE have to create a separate entity from themselves in order to be liked, accepted or “cool”? Especially once we leave highschool? Get over it, grow up and be yourself. WHY is that so hard for some people? Especially people that claim to be so grown? Is that what “swag” is about? LOL!  My issue with the opposite sex (and I’m not saying women don’t do this too but I like men so I have to speak from THAT angle) is that MANY males aren’t comfortable enough in their skin, to be the same in one facet of their life as in others. This shit just doesn’t apply to females anymore. Truth be told, it ALWAYS applied to the guys as well. But …. I digress.

For instance, take our jobs. That’s probably the ONE acceptable place where we have to be a little more reserved and different from our everyday selves. That makes sense but … when we are hanging out I don’t expect you to be all corporate UNLESS thats who you REALLY are. I don’t want to know you as a gentleman that respects women and is a romantic but see you tweeting about how you are against love and are “ready to blow any bitches back out” the next time you get laid. These conflicting personas are annoying, confusing and a joke. WHO ARE YOU!? Are you the gentleman or are you the hoe? Two extremes cannot be living within the same body. I’m sorry.

You can talk ABOUT something … without BEING that something. Let me clarify and use myself as an example: On Twitter I constantly talk about “diddling” (my term for masturbation – lol) and porn. I’m very blunt about sex.  I enjoy sex talk. I make no apologies for this. Some people would take those tweets and just assume I’m sexual. They’re right. People that know me offline know I’m the same way. I’m a very sexual person that is not ashamed to talk about sex. I’m just as candid online as I am off. Does this make me real? In that ONE area, most definitely. This is NOT to say though, that I’m sexually promiscuous. Talking about it is very different from BEING about it. Does the fact that I talk bluntly about sex but am not promiscuous make me fake? Not at all. I’ll accept it MAY make me a tease but I’m not fake because when I DO have sex – I’m not a prude. However, in SOME ppl’s minds I’ve been told that because I’m open to TALKING about sex then this MUST mean I’m a hoe. LOL. To them I say, ask the few guys I chill with on a regular basis if that’s true. I have many male friends I haven’t slept with and wouldn’t sleep with. Anyway, moving on ….

I admit, if I’ve read something you have said or listened to words that have come out of your mouth towards another, I may think something about you. WE ALL MAKE PERCEPTIONS ABOUT OTHERS. And if I don’t know you WELL, then those perceptions will probably be incorrect. I can’t help that but when you show me one thing and you show others another – whats really good with that? I don’t know who you are. It’s not my job to figure that out. You show people who you are and its up for them to accept you. Good and bad. Flawed and without flaws. And if people can’t accept you for who you are then are they people you really want around you? I’d think not.

With all that said, it’s not to say that you have to be the same with me as you are with others. Again, let me clarify:  if we are in a relationship, chances are you will be loving and affectionate with me as I’m your woman but that doesn’t mean you have to be loving and affectionate with ALL the women you know. I’m talking specifically about the two extremes of a wide spectrum. I hope that made sense. I’m talking about the guys that may be super smart and savvy in the ways of what’s considered “uncool”. For example, science, reading, education, etc. yet put on a front because since when is being into higher learning considered “swagtastic”? I’ve seen some people on Twitter talk about how they think love is for suckers and would never “wife any bitch cuz no bitch can hold them down” and then try to approach me on some romantic shit! You don’t think I see all? You don’t think I know I’m being gamed? Come on, son!  The few times I cared enough to call someone out on that shit they always say the same thing: “But that was then, this is now“. Sure people change but there is a clear difference in changing & maturing & growing up and changing & gaming a female for convenience.

PLEASE just learn to be yourself. At ALL times. You never know who’s watching. When the time comes to where you DO want to change and mature and grow up – all those games, roles and identities you played will come back to bite you in the ass. Be conscious and aware of how people perceive you and how you want to be perceived. If you are OK with being perceived as an asshole, nerd, hoe, loverboy, smartass then OWN it. Don’t be ashamed.  If you aren’t OK with those perceptions then BE CONSCIOUS! If you don’t care  about that right now, then more power to you but I can assure you, one day you will care and thats the day you will kick yourself for not displaying your truths in a better light.

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Women: It’s OK To Be Alone, Dammit

16 January 2010 at 12:35 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Funny Things, Life, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Remember not too long ago I wrote about women needing to get at their men first (and not other women) when they’ve been cheated on? Remember how I based that post on a chick I used to know and her drama she put out there on Twitter? Well, guess what? Her ass just showed me how truly lame she is. How the HELL are you going on and on about waste men …. not ever able to trust again …. you feel sorry for any guy you meet after this … and men are shit BUT you then turn around and say “single life sucks” and “I wanna trust him but I can’t” and “I’m falling for him” … WTF!?

Bitch you JUST got burned a few weeks ago and you’re already onto the next? How OLD are you? You are in your late 20’s acting like some highschool idiot! Christmas was apparently ruined because you found out your man was cheating on you with a REAL GIRL. You made her life hell, called her out her name, talked shit and then had the nerve to get your people involved. None of my business some might say? Well I read a lot. I browse the web to get topics like these to write about and when you put your business out there,  BEST BELIEVE Corprah Lanfrey is gonna have something to say. Don’t like it? Oh well #kanyeshrug all over that ass.

Women. It’s OK to be alone, you know. It’s OK to not have a man in your midst every day and week of your life. Do you not LIKE yourself? Can you not embrace single life at ALL? Why do you ALWAYS need a man around to validate you? Your self-worth and self-love should NOT be due to what man or how many men you have surrounding you. I understand its easy to fall for someone and have that love for another but there comes a time when enough is enough. If you were so hurt and crying and torn up over being cheated on, I can ASSURE you that it will take more than a couple of weeks to get over that feeling – unless that feeling was a figment of your imagination and just a ruse to gain sympathy. NO ONE feels sorry for you. Just the opposite actually – people LAUGH at you. At the very least they’ll PITY you.

But that’s what it is. You don’t have any self-love or worth and a man validates you. Period. Your life is a joke. You can’t and don’t want to be seen as single because it makes you look bad, weak, unworthy of a man’s love but … did you ever think standing on your own two feet without a man actually makes you look strong and worthy? Having this man and that man around you and your daughter does nothing but reiterate what people already know. You’re easy. You’re the best person to target for whatever means you give them. It’s no wonder you constantly get burned and hurt. You bring it on yourself. It’s so funny. The famous saying “Fool me once, shame on you … fool me twice, shame on me” REALLY APPLIES TO YOUR LIFE.

Try being alone and learning to love yourself. LIKE the time you spend with yourself. Get to know who you are before you present that person to another. Genuinely be READY for a relationship rather than jumping in and out of them. The fact you show these all over the place sentiments about countless men show just how pathetic you truly are. I’m ashamed to have ever befriended you and I don’t understand how ANYONE can be your friend and not tell you what I’m telling you – but, hey, the truth hurts. Too bad you fucked me over or I’d sit you down and tell you this in the best way I could. That’s what a real friend does.  A real friend wouldn’t encourage this behaviour. A real friend will tell you and call you out on your fuckery but thats not what you want – which is why you switch friends like girls switch their panties.

Anyway, this is a rant I, all of a sudden, no longer want to continue. I hope one day you will act your age, get your shit together and stop being so damn boy crazy. Loser.

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Let’s All Be A Satanist Like Jay Z!

3 January 2010 at 5:45 pm (Celebrity, Entertainment, Funny Things, Music, Rants, Videos, Why Is This News?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I have tried religiously to avoid giving a serious opinion about Jay Z’s new video. At first I was like, what’s the big deal!? Get over it. It’s a video. A lot of shit is disturbing. Shit that is REAL and not a damn directed video with ideas from someone’s head. But then I realized people were being MAD serious about it and I’m like …ITS A GOTDAMN MUSIC VIDEO. This isn’t a documentary into his real life and what he does AWAY from the public eye. Anyone can take any idea, fashion, current event and apply it to a music video … it doesn’t necessarily mean the artist, director, producer, stylist and whomever else actually believe in the ideal. I agree it’s odd to do a video with satanic and masonic imagery and not believe in it, but its not unheard or uncommon. Let’s be real here. People can do videos about cheating and killing but aren’t necessarily philanderers or murderers. It’s ALL PART OF AN IMAGE.

Here is my take on all this bullshit about Jay Z being a satanic Freemason:

You can’t deny the images are there but even if he WAS a freemason would he be so blatant about it? I can go and do my research and make a video throwing up all kinds of symbols and imagery and would people call me a satanist or freemason too?

Conspiracy theories are always interesting to me but they are just that .. theories. Jay Z isn’t stupid. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done all this on purpose to get ppl talking and crying foul and he’s sitting behind the scenes having a field day cracking up at the laymen.

And whats more, the ppl putting Beyonce in there amongst all the talk, when she gives thanks to God ANY chance she gets and was raised in the church, is hogwash. Then you have people talking about Nas being taken in by Jay and Kanye as well because back in ’94 he threw up the Illuminati sign (albeit i think it was accidentally) in “Aint Hard To Tell“.

People are going off about this and need to relax. If he’s a Freemason WHO CARES!?

I had one dude tell me that my opinion was the work of the devil and that I’m brainwashed and because I feel how I do, the devil has won. I laughed all UP in his face. How u gonna tell me the devil’s got me and I still pray every night to and love God? Kiss my ass. I think the people believing all this hogwash are the ones that are brainwashed. Anyone can manipulate a mind by filling it over and over with scary words, images and phrases but if YOU are smart and think for yourself that’s next to impossible. It’s like people blaming death metal for the murders they commit or kids blaming rappers for the drugs they sell. THINK FOR YOURSELF. I can go and take any 5 celebrities and stalk their asses and connect them all to some crazy ring of insanity if I wanted to. If you LOOK for bs you will FIND bs. That’s what a conspiracy theory is. Taking small truths and finding connections, drawing conclusions, blowing it out of proportion – add a bit of fear and you are IN there!

Sure all theories have some basis in reality but that is exactly why I feel the way I do. You don’t think someone as smart as Shawn Carter isn’t aware of this and riding the wave to get tongues wagging?

BTW … I may be one of the few that thinks On To The Next One is a dope vid (save for a couple images I could have done without).

For those that have yet to watch the video:

Here’s a video that looks at EVERY damn scene to draw what they say isn’t just a coincidence. SMH!

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Honestly, Flav … Spare My Life This Coonery

31 December 2009 at 1:56 am (Celebrity, Entertainment, Funny Things, Music, Rants, Videos, WTF!?) (, , , )

I’m pissed off about this shit! I’m angry and annoyed and I want to laugh but I’m too agitated.

And he had the NERVE to make this fuckery over 5 minutes long!

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