Shut Up And Where’s My $$$

26 August 2008 at 3:13 pm (Celebrity, Entertainment, Music) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

So Rhianna is apparently broke. Or going broke. Rumour has it that she’s only got 20K to her name and has fired her accountant, Patricia Williams, in light of this. Rhianna is accusing Williams of theft. Apparently, the singer has only made “just over a million” and the money has mostly gone to her image, videos and appearances. Basically, she’s spent to make herself as big as she is. In an effort to clear her name, Williams has said in response: “It’s not my fault she only has $20,000 to her name. I have worked for many high profile actors, musicians and multi-million dollar corporations. Why would I steal from Rhianna? I showed her the paperwork and tried to explain the circumstances but she wouldn’t listen. She called me all sorts of names and stormed off.”

This doesn’t bode well for Rhianna, who I’ve heard is quite the diva. Apparently, she’s become quite egotisical and is rather full of herself.

In my opinion, when you realize you aren’t making as much money as you should be, wouldn’t the first person you think to question would be your manager or record label, perhaps? Then again, I’m not in the “business” so I’m speaking only from common sense and speculation rather than experience and inside knowledge.

Williams also said as much when she pointed to Marc Jordan and Def Jam, Rhianna’s manager and label respectively, as the real source for Rhianna’s financial woes. She says in the New Yorks  Page Six:

“I don’t want to disrespect Marc’s name. He is a fantastic manager and genuinely believes in Rihanna. But he uses her money to fund her future projects because he believes he can break her in the world-market. Her album sales are not nearly as close to her single sales and he knows that if she is only known as a ’singles artist’ she will only be as good as her last hit. Unfortunately, he didn’t inform his client and I’m receiving the brunt of it.

“Her record label Def Jam has put out 3 albums in a time span of 2 years. A lot of that was orchestrated through her management Rebel One. It was never Def Jam’s intention to release so many albums back-to-back but Marc Jordan found loop holes and ways to make it happen.A lot of the money Rihanna made through her endorsements between CoverGirl Cosmetics, Samsung.. Notice that majority of Rihanna’s videos have a cell phone in it?”

“After the release of Rihanna and Teairra Mari, Def Jam had intention to drop both acts because their album sales were not successful. Her manager fought to get [S.O.S (Rescue Me)] and quickly tried to negotiate with as many companies as possible. Nike picked up the song and funded a video. This brought the hype back for Rihanna in the company’s New York office. Majority of the official ‘S.O.S’ video was funded by Samsung because the record label was only willing to put up a small amount. Once ‘S.O.S’ picked up digitally and at radio, Def Jam agreed to fund the rest of her album. Jordan instantly got a video shot to ‘Unfaithful’ (he negotiated with video director Anthony Mandler to drop his price and would be given more videos from Rihanna in return). Then they shot ‘We Ride’ which was an extremely cheap video to create. ‘Break It Off’ was released as a third album, but again, Def Jam was unhappy with the sales of her album “A Girl Like Me” and refused to shoot a video. At this point Rihanna was opening up for the Pussycat Doll’s in Europe. She was making 30,000 a show but she didn’t see any of that money because it was needed to fund her next album.” Which is now known to the greater public as a ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’.”

The song “Umbrella” was found & Jordan fought again for Rihanna to have it. They shot the video, which CoverGirl funded half of, and the song became a success. When the record label had there meeting with Music Stores across the U.S to order her album for shipment, the number’s weren’t coming in the way that they expected. When the album’s first week numbers came in at less than 150,000, the label was shocked. Def Jam’s President LA Reid was livid! Umbrella was #1 for 11 weeks! Any other artist would have sold way more first week. T-Pain even did better in sales than her that week. Def Jam told Jordan they were no longer funding the album, so Jordan needed money again to pay for music videos ‘Shut Up & Drive’ and ‘Don’t Stop The Music’. Almost 250,000 was spent to have those videos created. Plus, an additional 120,000 to shoot ‘Hate That I Love You’. Jordan was noticing that ‘Don’t Stop The Music’ was picking up, so her persuaded the label to support it at radio in the U.S and the remaining singles, and they did.”

“Then came for the repackaging of her album ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’, which is called ‘Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded’, that entire project was funded through Rihanna’s money. ‘Take A Bow’ was bought through her money, the video was created with her money and so is her most recent video and single ‘Disturbia’. The label didn’t even want to pay a dime for anything! Close to 750,000 was spent on those two songs alone. And now she expects to see money in her account?”

Sucks to be Rhianna. I guess she’ll have to make sure Chris Brown is doing the spending from now on.

Just goes to show you that not all celebrities are rich and blinged out, huh?


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Is Oral Sex Still Taboo In 2008?

24 August 2008 at 10:25 pm (Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

I mean, is it?

I understand the notion of not wanting to put your mouth on just anyone. I do. You can’t. It’s 2008, true. Time for change and moving on but also the time for diseases and STI’s. OK, so we’ve gotten that out of the way. You can’t put your mouth on just anyone BUT, where is all this other crap coming from?

This, “Oh, I don’t really do that” … or … “Oh, it’s not really my thing. I’m not against it or anything but …….”

And my personal favourite: “I don’t need to eat pussy because I can make up for that in other ways.”  This line is usually followed with a wink. UGH! Really? Are you serious?

That’s like a girl saying: “Oh sorry, Tom. I don’t suck dick but I can surely ride one!” If a guy likes having his dick sucked and that’s what gets him off what makes that chick think that how she rides will compensate?

Fellas, if you think what you do with your johnson will make up for what your tongue CAN do, you are mistaken. A dick and a fuck is a dick and a fuck. A tongue and a lick is a tongue and a lick. And a suck. lol. A girl may put up with your lack of oral licking for so long before she moves onto someone that can give her what she likes and what she needs. Just like you will only like the ride for so long before you get off and have some girl lick your knob because that’s what YOU need.

There is no way to give someone something else in place of what they desire. This is why communication before the deed is so important. I will not lie to anyone reading this right now. I like oral sex. I like looking down and seeing a beautiful, well rounded head between my legs and if a guy doesn’t like doing that, it’s cool. It’s OK. He’s just not for me. That’s all. There’s no point in trying to pretend that I can live without oral sex. I can, but for only so long. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Not THE most important but quite important to say the least.

If you can’t communicate how you like to be done then you will run into problems down the line; guaranteed. It’s important to tell your partner what your expectations are of him in the bedroom. It’s also important for you to listen to his. If you can come to a middle ground that’s awesome. If you can’t then either you do one of two things. You just go for it and dive right in (pun intended) or you walk away and eventually find someone else that shares the same desires you do.

There is nothing wrong with oral sex. If you are with someone who is healthy and clean and hygienic then there shouldn’t be anything nasty or untoward about it. If it’s just not your thing for whatever the reason, that’s absolutely fine but keep in mind that’s YOUR deal. And you shouldn’t make your partner suffer or live with that JUST because YOU don’t want to go down. If THEY choose to be with you knowing oral sex isn’t in your game plan then they have no one to blame but themselves.

Personally, I’m not trying to have another female please my man the way I should be. If he likes a certain thing in the bedroom, I’ll do that for him. I expect the same in return. That’s not to say that every time I go down on you, you have to go down on me and vice versa. I mean, sometimes you just want to please and be pleased. I’m just saying that I don’t want my man getting from someone else, the things he should be getting from me. I’ll be damned about all that.

Oral sex is one of the most intimate aspects of sexuality. Just like I wouldn’t put my mouth on anyone, I wouldn’t want just anyone’s mouth on me, either. You have to know who you’re playing with, so to speak. So while it’s 2008 and you want to step up to the plate, don’t gamble with your health. Have fun with sex. Be adventurous and kinky. But also be careful. There’s nothing wrong with pleasing your partner. But there’s something wrong with pleasing every girl or guy on your block.

It’s 2008 people. Leave the “its nasty” comments for the young kids that don’t know any better. Try it just once and see. I can guarantee you that the response you get from your partner will encourage you to learn better skills. Seeing and hearing how much pleasure you’ve brought them will only make you want to please them more and better each time. Trust me when I say, your partner will not stray if they are getting what they want at home. Unless they are a complete idiot or a complete dog, giving them what they need will make them stay put. If they DO stray then you’re better off without them anyway. But try it. There’s no harm in it. Just make sure you do it with someone that respects you and not someone that ASKS you to. There is a difference between letting someone know what you like and telling someone what they need to do to please you. Know the difference. Know your partner.


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The Importance Of Being Married – Gemma Townley

23 August 2008 at 5:20 pm (Book Reviews, Entertainment) (, , , , , )


3 out of 5 stars

First time reading a book by Gemma Townley. It won’t be my last. What a good story. It’s endearing, charming, funny and just an all around fun read. I’m a huge chick lit fan and this book won’t disappoint if you’re into this sort of genre.

The book starts by introducing us to our heroine, Jessica Wild, who is a rather plain Jane, obsessed with work, raised by a stern and strict grandmother who told her men, romance and love are for the birds. Jess lives in a London city called Islington with her pretty and rambunctious flatmate, Helen. They are complete opposites but the dearest of friends. When Jess’ friend – an older lady she met at her grandmother’s retirement home – passes away, she learns the woman, Grace Hampton is actually Lady Hampton and has left Jess her estate worth upwards of 4 million (pounds)! But there’s a hitch. Jess, in order to make Grace happy, made up a story about being happily in love and married to her uber-successful boss, Anthony Milton. And the will is addressed to whom Grace believes Jess to be: A Mrs. Anthony Milton. Another catch: the will has to be claimed, along with papers signed, within 50 days. Quite the predicament, huh?

So Jessica, with help of Helen and a couple other crazy characters, embark on a mission to get Anthony Milton to date her, fall madly in love with her, propose to her and alas, marry her. All within 50 days. Can Jess do it?

The book and certain aspects of the plot were VERY obvious and predicatable to me, even before foreshadowing put the hints out there. I’m not sure if it was Ms. Townley’s writing style or just the fact that I pick up on things easily but nevertheless, even though I was “in the know” on characters real motives, I still enjoyed reading the book and couldn’t put it down towards the end because I was wanting desperately to know what happened next. It was quite the page turner and had a lot of heartwarming moments. None that I plan to give away here though. I’m not one for ruining another readers’ experience.

I enjoyed the different views of marriage the characters had and the part where Jess finds the perfect dress but opts for something different resonated something within me. Of course, I want and plan to get married someday and the lessons on marriage in this book weren’t lost on me. I enjoyed the fact that it’s ok to get married for the “traditionally right” reasons as well as for the “unusually wrong” ones. I know that sounds odd but if you choose to read the book, you’ll understand what I mean =)

I recommend fans of Gemma Townley to definitely read this book if they haven’t already. I plan on reading her older novels. I already have “Learning Curves” on board.  I also implore new fans to check her out. I enjoyed her simple, comprehensive and entertaining writing.

On another note: The editor, writer and never miss a thing part of me has to point out that there was a mistake, late in the book, where the main character Jess is actually called “Jen” and there is no correction/explanation as to why. One can only assume it was a mistake on Townley’s editors’ part.

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The Futility of Threesomes – In Relationships

23 August 2008 at 11:25 am (Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Threesomes, typically, are about representing a fantasy. It’s usually only a sexual experience that one or all three people want to partake in. Threesomes, for the most part, I’d think are wanted mostly by men that want to have their cake and eat it too.

And that’s fine. For single people.

When you’re single you can do whatever you want without repercussion or consequence. You don’t have any responsibility to anyone else and you definitely don’t have to answer to anyone.

But, when you are in a relationship, now? You can’t just up and do what you want. There are always repercussions and consequences. A relationship is about two people and their commitment to each other so having a threesome in a relationship would prove futile, no? I don’t think you should be bringing in a third person for the fantasy or to spice up your sex life. Or to make the other half happy. I can see some reasons why people could make themselves believe it to be a good idea but all the same, the ends, in this situation, just wouldn’t and couldn’t, justify the means.

What good can become of your relationship if you bring another person into your bed, even if it was just once?  Whether its a new relationship, a long term relationship or a marriage, nothing good can come of this. Think about it. Even the strongest of people would have lingering doubts and questions and what ifs swirling around in their head. Was there too much attention placed on the third? Is the third calling my man or woman behind my back? Does my partner wish we could do it again? Is she (or he) now attracted to the third?  I mean, its a bad situation to be in after the fact.

You could be the most confident and secure person but seeing your supposed better half having sex before your very eyes is liable to shake you. No doubt about that. Some people would argue that allowing your spouse the freedom of a threesome while in a relationship is a great deterrent to having them cheat outside of the relationship without the other person knowing. I say, damn all that! Basically, what the partner would be agreeing to is cheating … but right in their face. Allowing your partner that sort freedom would have you getting all that you deserve should the outcome be a bad one. Unless you want it to? Unless you want that experience as well? In which case, be careful what you wish / ask for. What you think may be a freaky and kinky experience may turn out to be the beginning of the end of your relationship.

I used to think I would do anything to make my man happy. I’d rather be the one to fulfill his fantasies than someone else, but where do you draw the line? Do you fulfill his fantasy by allowing another woman to put her hands on him? If he was just any old somebody or any old guy I was dating, maybe I could go through with it, but no. It’s not worth it. If you sit and think long enough … the outcome just isn’t going to be a good one no matter how you slice it.

I’ve personally seen and heard relationships break up over the threesome experience. Even if the third party didn’t involve thyself with either person afterwards, the self doubt between the two people in the relationship became insurmountable and just couldn’t be dealt with. No matter what rules you try to ensure before the act, everyone knows rules are meant to be broken. How do you even approach the topic? Who initiates the desire to introduce a threesome? How would you feel if you were the person being asked to partake?

If you feel a threesome in your relationship is beneficial, more power to you but remember that you should really think about the possible outcomes and if they are worth it. Always assume the worst in a situation and think if you want to be in it. If you realize you don’t, don’t do it then. It’s pretty simple. Or better yet, line up that threesome when you’re single and there aren’t any feelings or emotional attachments and if you ARE single, don’t involve a girl that you know likes you. It’s a fine line to walk so tread carefully.

It all comes down to respect. Respect of your partner and your relationship. If you can get the concept of respect then chances are you won’t have to deal with the fallout of a threesome.

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Grown Show & Tell

21 August 2008 at 1:32 pm (Family, Rants) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I remember as a young girl I used to LOVE Show & Tell at school. I’d love to bring in my stuffed animals, my Barbies or even what toy or new book I happend to get that week. It was GREAT! I remember the pride I felt when the other boys and girls “oooh’d” and “ahh’d” over my presentations. I remember some even being jealous and wishing they had what I did. And at times, I’d get a little jealous of what they would show, too.

Those were the days.

Sometimes I still feel like I’m class, watching Show & Tell, but with “grown” folks. Only this time I’m not seeing Raggedy Ann, My Little Pony, Transformers or G.I Joe. Instead I’m seeing little Breanna and young Stevie.

Yea, that’s right. I feel like I’m seeing KIDS being brought into the classroom. Only the classroom has now become the real world.

I am SO sick of grown women (and some men, too) parading their kids around like toys or collecters items. It makes me sick.

I’m seeing mothers dress up their kids in the flyest and latest designer wears and I’m like,  “wait a second. Why does a 2 yr old need Rocawear shoes or a Baby Phat dress? They’re only going to grow out of it in a few months.”  I mean, dont get me wrong, it’s nice to want nice things for your children but their wardrobe SHOULD consist of Disney, Dora and Max & Ruby as much as Baby Phat, Rocawear and Nike. Have a few nice pieces for your child but don’t dress them in nothing but “grown folks clothing.” Let your child be a CHILD. Let them enjoy their youth and innocence. The world is already a hard enough place to grow up in. The last thing they need is their own parent(s) forcing fashion and other grown things on them.

I don’t understand the logic of having a toddler wearing make up or hoop earrings. I don’t understand why they have teased hair and their bellies showing in crop tops. I think it’s materialistic, disgusting and irresponsible on the adults part. If you show a child that this is how to be from that young of an age, tell me what you think they’ll be like when they get to be 10, 12 and 15?

I have little sympathy for the parent’s and would love to flash forward to see what their kids are like in their pre-teens and teens. I would love to laugh at the lack of control they’ll have. But I can’t. More than anything I feel sorry for the child. They never really had a chance, did they?

We, as parents, are supposed to mold, guide, discipline and culture our children. As cliche as it sounds, they really ARE our future. Every generation is becoming dumber than the last. Every generation is becoming more materialisic. We live in the age of technology. Our children have fallen victim to computers, tv shows and video games. Technology has overtaken outdoor activities, sports and the park. Kids don’t ride bikes anymore, they ride each other! Harsh, maybe but it’s the honest truth! In light of a video that recently hit the internet, (of two young kids that cant be any older than 7, showing them dancing with each other rather provacatively) I have nothing to say other than parent’s need to step up and do better. Much better. Stop blaming teachers and schools and the media. Look in the mirror. A proper upbringing begins at home and the responsibility falls on no one’s shoulders BUT the parents’.

PARENT your child and stop trying to be their best friend. They aren’t going to hate you for telling them no. Kids actually thrive on rules and discipline. They don’t know any better and they look to us to tell them what to do. They WANT us to show them right from wrong.

Do your part and be their support system. Stop trying to gain fame through them because everyone says how “stylish” or “cute” they are. Getting credit for how you style your child is awful in my opinion. How about hearing how bright or well mannered your child is? Is that not more meaningful?

Then again, it’s usually people that have yet to grow up themselves being guilty of the things I’m speaking of. So it’s almost a lost cause. Put your children first and raise them to be productive members of society. I’m tired of seeing kids growing up before they have to. It’s sad … truly, truly sad.

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August Spotlight: Caribana 2008

20 August 2008 at 10:14 pm (Entertainment, Interviews, Local Events, Monthly Spotlight) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The number of visitors to Toronto were in the thousands. The numbers of people playing “mas” this year totalled just over 11,000. Toronto was alive and well during Caribana 2008. Lakeshore was alive with spectators, masquaraders, the tantalizing aroma of west indian food, colourful costumes, feathers, flesh (lol) and the beautiful sounds of steel pan. You had to be there to feel the energy. It started out with a bit of rain but ended up a sunny and warm day. Families and friends, young and old, people of every race, culture and ethnicity participated in this year’s parade. And most importantly, there was no violence. A great success, Caribana was definitely the highlight of my summer.
-Corprah Lanfrey

The parade route

The parade route

OK! So Caribana happened earlier this month and now that the hoopla, and the “pawty pawty” atmosphere has died down somewhat (but never for the soca freaks – lol), let’s ask some Caribana participants how it was at Caribana 2008:

Jenell Hylton:
Which band were you performing with this year?
This year I played with Louis Saldenah and our theme was The Deep. The section I participated in was called the Fighting Fish.

Have you always played mas or was this your first time? How was it?!
Growing up I have always gone to Caribana but never participated until two years ago. I also plan on playing again next year. After experiencing Caribana by being in the parade I don’t see it any other way. It’s just a different experience being in the parade with all my friends and having a great time. Its also exciting for my family to come and wait to see me. Being in the parade you are able to meet new people and possibly make new friends like I did this year.

Describe your costume.
My section represented the Fighting Fish. The costume consisted of a bra and shorts (I opted for the shorts and not the panty) with a belt and a head piece. (Not much to it) The colors were purple and blue. We had very big head pieces (which made the costume) that had a lot of feathers (purple and blue). The bra which was blue had purple beads and the beading went on the belt also.

Being that it is Caribana, we know there is dancing so… how scandalous was the dancing? Lol
Very scandalous. A lot of people have no shame. Nothing was left to the imagination but all in good humor.

Why not just attend the parade? Why did you want to participate in mas?
Two years ago it started as something to do and say “hey I did it once”. Now I could never see myself just going to Caribana and watching from the side. I know a lot of families who play mas together, and I can see why they do, because it is that much fun. The competition part is fun. Sizing up other costumes wondering how they are going to place.

Let’s be real: we know that a lot of people attend Caribana from far and wide. If you had to guess, how many accents did you hear in that one day? Including fake American accents 😉
Just at the parade alone I heard about 3 fake accents. The worse was when we went to a party a guy was pretending to be American but had identification that said Nova Scotia. I don’t see the point in pretending.



Amanda Gravesande:
What is your favorite soca song to “get on bad” to?
Truth be told, I am not a ‘soca’ head but when it comes to Caribana you can’t help but to get into the vibe. Its hard to choose just one good ‘wuk up’ song, because they all get your waist moving, but one of my personal favourites are “Party Animal” By Problem Child.

Amanda Gravesande

Amanda Gravesande

Were you nervous about any potential violence at Caribana this year?
Worrying about violence at Caribana is never an issue to me, everyone is there to enjoy the day. Despite past events, you cant let things like that stop you from having fun you have to keep the vibes positive.

Do you think you’ll go next year?
-Most definitely, I try to play mas every year It’s the highlight of my summer.

Do you know that Caribana was started as a celebration of the the abolishment of slavery? How do you feel about that?
-I think it was a great idea, I endorse anything that gets the community together to celebrate. The abolishment of slavery was a big thing for the black community so what better way to celebrate than through dance, food, people.

How was the food?
Since I played in mas, I didn’t really get a chance to eat that much aside from the food off of the mas truck. But the food is delightful and there is a variation to choose from the different carribean countries.

What are the essentials to bring to Caribana?
-Your Flag/Whistle
-Positive Attitude
-Money..Of course
-And some comfy shoes

Let’s be real: we know that a lot of people attend Caribana from far and wide. If you had to guess, how many accents did you hear in that one day? Including fake American accents 😉
LOL too many to count, everyone and their damn grandfather is american caribana weekend, I guess it’s the ‘cool’ thing. It being a predominatly carribean event, you hear many accents, I love it…so ethnic.

Bana 08 Revellers Representing Guyana

Bana '08 Revellers Representing Guyana

 To me, major events are like movies. You cannot fully comment on how you felt until way after the fact, after the hype and after the build up. This year’s Caribana sounded really, really good so if you weren’t there this year, I better see you jumpin’ up in 2009.

Aerial view of the parade

Aerial view of the parade

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Solange – Fuck the Industry … Signed, Sincerely

18 August 2008 at 8:45 pm (Entertainment, Music) (, , , , , , )

The message got through to me. And I rate it. She shouts out Dilla. That right there is enough to make me say “ok, ok … go ‘head Solange.” I’m not fond of how she sang it but lyrically I feel it.

What are your thoughts? Is she right to be upset?

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Writer’s Block

17 August 2008 at 10:13 am (Random) (, , , , )

I’m suffering from it. Drastically. It seems that I have to write about writers block in order to have something to write about. I want to write. I have that urge and desire to just let loose but I have no inspiration.  I have no topic. I have no rant. I have no subject. I could probably call up a friend and tell them to give me a word and write something but I don’t want to have to THINK about something and then conjure up an essay or paragraph. I want to feel compelled to write something out that will be relevant. I find my most successful blogs come after I’ve felt I had to say something. ( Geez, that was a lot of “somethings” ). They resonate within people. People feel what I’m saying. When I write simply for the sake of writing I don’t feel like anyone wins. Maybe I’m rambling right now to push myself into an “aha!” moment: “I can write about this”  But, alas ….. nothing.

It’s OK. I’ve tried reading this past weekend, given the fact I don’t have much time to sit and read these days. I’ve quite enjoyed it. Maybe I can do a book review. Maybe that will be something that can prompt me. Hmm.

Usually when I suffer from writer’s block, I let nature take its course and when it hits me, I’m ready to go again. But people are asking me what’s up with the lack of personal blogs. Not necessarily blogs about MY life but ones that aren’t about news or celebrities. And that’s a fair question but now y’all know. I just don’t know WHAT to write about.

I woke up this morning and had a GREAT idea in my head. I made myself a tea and some toast, decided I’m going to make roast beef for Sunday dinner and sat down to my computer and ……………. *blank* The idea is gone. I hope it comes to me at some point throughout the day because I remember feeling good about the content. I just cant remember it. ‘Tis a shame.

Bear with me, folks. I hope to snap out of this soon. Hey, if anyone has any suggestions on how to quickly deal with writer’s block, do share. Thanks.

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Can I Just Spend My Life, With You?

14 August 2008 at 12:16 pm (Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , , , )

So, “he” says that spending your life with someone is a decision and not a discovery. That statement, while sensible, isn’t necessarily logical in my eyes. While I agree it’s not a discovery, I think it’s a bit more than a decision. Yes, essentially you CHOOSE to be with someone but if it doesn’t work out your decision then becomes null and void ….. Right?

With divorce rates being as high as they are, its pretty evident that a lot of people are making an abundance of wrong decisions. 

Maybe it’s the romantic in me talking, but I have always thought there was something more to knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. You can WANT to spend your life with someone, but how often do you KNOW? I mean, deep, down inside? I think that it’s more than a feeling and more than intuition. And I don’t believe a lot of people have the privilege of KNOWING they have met “the one“. Some people go their entire lives not even falling IN love. I think once you KNOW you have met that special person, and if it doesn’t happen to work out, you realize there will never be another like them. How could there be? So you try THAT much harder to make it work out – against all odds. You fight that much tougher to make sure you have something strong and everlasting. They say nothing is forever. I don’t believe that. Life is what you make it and you control your own destiny. And if you want something to last forever then, dammit, you can!

Remember your great-grandparents or grandparents and maybe even your parents. Their stories of romance and soul mates and meeting “the one” are so romantic and solid and you often here, “we just knew”. And they, more often than not, had/have a successful, long and loving marriage. Now a days, you hear people that are unhappily married say things like “We never should’ve gotten married. Not with all this baggage” Or they say they had doubts. That to me always has me screaming inside, WHY WHY WHY!? I’d rather be alone until I was 60 than get married if I knew there was a chance my marriage would fail. If I can’t say my vows with 100% certainty that we’ll make it, then I’m not getting married. Period. And I know things can change AFTER a marriage; I understand that. I’m not speaking about that at the moment. I’m talking about the ones that go INTO it already having those doubts. To me, your dooming something before its even had the chance to begin.  Why bother?

So what say YOU? How  can you, unequivocally, know the person you are with is THAT person? Is it a feeling? Is it just “known” as cliche as that sounds? Or is it truly just a decision? Or maybe, just maybe, it IS a discovery.

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Only Pretty Children Can Sing At Our Olympics!

13 August 2008 at 2:02 pm (News, Televison, World Issues) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Imagine my shock this morning when I opened the paper to read a small article about China using a pretty child to lip synch over a decidedly “unpretty” child’s voice for Beijing’s Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Now, this has me pissed. Why? Because the ceremonies music director has deemed, “in national interest” what is “cute” and what isn’t. This is wrong to me. These kids are 7-years old. Explain to me how the one who didn’t get on TV felt knowing her voice was the best but her looks weren’t? Is there not already enough pressure on our young girls to look a certain way physically, now, when they shine in another department, they STILL can’t be celebrated?

Mind you, this is half way around the world. In no way can China’s standards of beauty be a reflection of North America’s standards. I mean, this is a country that places more value on a boy child’s life than a girls’. But that’s another blog for another day in itself. I wonder if this is a cultural thing over there. And if it REALLY is in national interest. I don’t want to think the Chinese people as a whole are that shallow. I really don’t.  The statement issued is, and I quote: “The  national interest requires that the girl should have good looks and a good grasp of the song and look good on screen …. the audience will understand this was in national interest”  WTF?!? This is coming from the chief music director, Chen Qigang, himself. Apparently, the change was last minute to accommodate the wishes of China’s communist party, the Politburo who told them “there was a problem, and (it) needed to be fixed.”  Apparently, the problem was Yang Peiyi’s chubby face and crooked teeth. What kind message does this send to our youth?

Even if the little girl knew this was an issue ahead of time, who is really going to sit there and complain about a small child with an amazing voice, to be too ugly to look at while enjoying the Olympics opening ceremonies!? You’ve got to be kidding me. Instead I’d rather watch a pretty little pig tailed girl lip synch her way through someone else’s song and take all the glory, applause and praise? Riiiiiiiiight.  I saw the two pics of the children. I think the actual singer is quite cute. There’s no “problem” with her in my eyes.

Peiyi, left, Miaoke, right

Peiyi, left, Miaoke, right

It brings me to my problem with this whole issue of who do we think we are that can publicly claim who we think is pretty vs who isn’t? ESPECIALLY, when it comes to children!  I’m not naive. I know that the “pretty people” fare better in the real world than decidedly non-pretty people but still, who decides this? Music directors, government, the public? Who? Everyone has a preference to what they find beautiful but I believe when it comes to children there just shouldn’t be this issue. THEY ARE KIDS. They are innocent until idiot adults put poison in their minds.

Imagine little Yang Peiyi hearing herself on the TV but seeing someone else singing. Maybe I’m being dramatic or maybe I’m being a bit much but I would bet my last dollar that the child was confused and above all else hurt and wondering why she wasn’t the one up there being applauded for her talent. Her self esteem is more than likely taking a huge blow and I haven’t seen the clip of the ceremonies as yet so I cant say how acclaimed her voice is but if this situation is getting press coverage over here in Canada, I’m sure its getting coverage there and other places. The other girl is getting all of Yang’s spotlight and glory and that just isn’t right to me. I don’t blame the other child. She’s a victim in this as well. I blame the powers that be. And I can’t say I’m not upset this small scandal on a great scale was exposed. Looks good on ’em is what I say.

I hope her parents are taking good care of her right now and weren’t willing participants in letting this happen. From a mother’s standpoint I’d be hard pressed to tell them to go fuck themselves. If my daughter can’t sing AND be on TV then find someone else but then at the same time, it could be a grand opportunity to get (at the very least) my daughter’s voice heard. At the end of the day, though, my decision would be based on what my child wanted, provided she understood the situation as best as I could explain it to her.

The grand scheme of things here, is that the world objectifies and at times exploits women. I’m not a feminist but I call it like I see it. I read about girls at a younger and younger age suffering from eating disorders all the time. About them wanting plastic surgery and wearing make up and revealing clothes before they’ve reached high school – heck, before they make it all the way through elementary school. It’s sad because the world’s view on “beauty” is so distorted and fucked up and in this recent case at the Olympics I find it probably won’t get better anytime soon. I implore all parents of young daughters to love them. Tell them and show them how important they are. Make them know they are more than what’s on the outside. Self love starts at home. Don’t allow the world to tell our daughter’s they aren’t good enough or pretty enough.

The world shouldn’t have a say in how we view ourselves. I don’t care if that’s life. That reasoning just isn’t good enough for me.



Source: 24 hours … local Toronto newspaper (no link provided)
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