Women Lead, Men Follow

23 September 2010 at 10:19 am (Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“When females start acting like women. Males will start acting like men.” Source

This was a tweet that was RT’d on my timeline last night and I was intrigued so I went to the person’s page and found out what he meant by it. (You’ll see more of the tweets repeated throughout this post in order to illustrate my viewpoint, btw.) He was going on and on about if women start being women, men will stop treating us like bitches and hoes. The way we act dictates how we’re treated. Made complete sense to me.  My first instinct wasn’t to defend my gender or to take offense. My first instinct was to tell him how right he is. That’s not to say ALL the responsibility is on us. Men have to be accountable for their actions and there are exceptions to every rule. I mean, many good men and women are hurt and treated like crap everyday by people that are just assholes by nature and cruel and cold-hearted.

” … OR THEY WOULDN’T GET NO PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!! niggas will do WHATEVER to get some pussy.”

He went on to say that men will do almost anything to get that pussy but that a man WILL wait for it if he wants it bad enough. We just need to make him invest time. I agree of course but there’s one fundamental problem. There will always be another female willing to gie up the goods if I don’t. So any hoops I make him jump through could be all for nothing. Also, once he gets what he’s been wanting, what’s to stop him from moving on to someone else? These are questions that have no clear answer but the more time you spend with someone you’ll see if their intentions with u are genuine or not. That only comes with experience in trial and error. You can’t learn from any mistake you haven’t made and no one is psychic. This is why DATING is so important.  People need to start DATING again. Get to KNOW someone before you jump into a relationship or bed with them. You’ll have to trust your gut and intuition though. The world is full of liars and deceivers.

He went on to say something that was very interesting. He said that back in high school it was “cool” to call a girl cute or fine but women eventually got tired of hearing the same thing and wanted to be called beautiful and etc., so men switched up their game once we were put onto it. Basically,  it’s the same game but with different plays being drawn for the team. And, women believe it. They really believe they’re being called beautiful. No, chick … he just did what he had to do to be “different”. Next thing you know, men will start admiring women for their “wit and smarts” once beautiful has run its course. The goal of the lie is the same but the lie is being told a different way. Women need to be able to tell the difference.

Many women nowadays are just like men. We have a man’s mentality. We’re all just about getting our nut, too. We’ve been played and hurt so much, we feel it makes sense to forgo having feelings for anyone so if we can’t beat ’em, we might as well join ’em.  It’s a horrible way to interact with the opposite sex and many women do it because they feel they have no choice not because that’s their first instinct. So this begs the question of how do we “get back”? Slowly, but surely. The other issue is that even if we saw a huge shift in women changing up would it be enough of us to create a stand? Meaning, will men REALLY take note and respond accordingly? There will always be hoes and prostitutes and strippers to give men what they need so if we, as everyday women, aren’t giving it up will he REALLY stick around and work for our affection knowing what he can get is just a phone call away?

BUT, my personal belief is that if women made a conscious decision to band together and demand respect and didn’t give it up so easy, men probably would change. We are the smarter gender and we do have extreme power between our legs. And with great power comes great responsibility.  We were created as a recipe for  disaster with a brain and pussy but we need to reel it in and start demanding respect. That brain and pussy is worthless if we’re not using one and only using the other as something to hold over a man.  We can’t really complain about things men do if we allow it to be done. This is where WE have to assume accountability, now.

“So if you act like a lady and stop lettin niggas hit in under a month and make them invest some time into you. They’re not gonna wanna leave.”

When u make a man work for it he’ll appreciate it more, this is true, but make the right choice in the first place. A guy that’s up to no good WILL wait around for you (while doing his bs on the side) and soon as you give it up he’ll leave. So, yes,  while it’s in part that we have to make him work for it, we also have to make the right choice of man in the first place> Who wants to waste their time dating a crap guy that’s only gonna stay for what he wants and be out ANYWAY?

“If females acted ‘hard to get’ like jobs are these days, when a man got one he would keep it cause it’s hard to find another one.”

In conclusion, I think I think it’s safe to say we all know we can’t change a person but we can shape them and their habits – help them to be better. That’s what we ALL should look for in a mate. And since we ALSO all know men take longer to mature than us, what’s wrong with helping that “change” along? LMAO. That last part was said in jest … don’t get your boxer briefs in a tizzy, guys.

Follow the inspiration behind this post: http://twitter.com/FromABoyToAMan

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#REALWOMAN Rule #1 (Pertaining To Catching A Cheater)

29 December 2009 at 9:38 pm (Life, Love & Relationships, Random, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , )

I feel like I need to write about a topic that SHOULD be common knowledge but isn’t EVER that way.

I’m talking to you ladies. Not ALL of you. Not the #realwomen out there. Not the #realladies out there. I’m talking to you bummy hoodrats with no common sense and lack of brain power.

When you are in a relationship with a man you do NOT go after the chick you find your man cheating with.  Not until AFTER you find out she without a doubt knew about you and stepped into your position willingly and without care. But if you have NO way of knowing, you play your position as a LADY and as a WOMAN and check your damn man FIRST and find out about HER later.

After all the bullshit I read on twitter  this evening I feel like I have to reiterate this to some of y’all. ESPECIALLY you young women coming up that haven’t dealt with this yet. You are fortunate but heed this post PLEASE … You’ll be a better person because of it.

You don’t go attacking the chick calling her ugly, worthless, and whatever other name you have for her. You don’t get your friends to gang up on her and attack her. You don’t turn gotdamn psycho and friend her up on Twitter. You don’t harass her phone and email and IM’s and steal her pictures and basically INTERWEB stalk her! You don’t call her a bitch, a slut, a homewrecker, etc. etc., BLAH BLAH BLAH! And PLEASE NOTE: when it’s found out SHE was the MAIN chick and YOU were the side bitch you DEFINITELY shut your damn mouth up. It’s EASY to blame the “other woman” and fling all kinds of insults at her (you know, so you aren’t looked at as a fool *rolls eyes*) but yet cry, beg, bawl and weep to the dog of a man “WHY ME!?” when he could be bringing you home ANY and ALL kinds of diseases.

The ONLY person you need to check is the MAN in the center of the mix up. YOUR supposed man. He’s the only one that’s lied, deceived and played all parties involved (including himself). He is the one that had the loyalty to you (or her) and is the one that should deal with the consequences of breaking that trust and bond. How is it another females fault if she was lied to and told her “man” was single and uninvolved!? She’s AS MUCH a victim as you are!  A #REALWOMAN would realize that and sit down and TALK to her and relate to her woman to woman.

Personally, I’m not coming out of pocket with a chick because I’ll want truths. I’ll talk to a woman STRAIGHT up and find out what I need to know. Screaming and dissing another female will NOT get you the answers you want, need and deserve. PLAY YOUR DAMN POSITION, LADIES! You come at a bitch swinging, she’s gonna swing back. Just get your answers and then walk your ass on into the Health Clinic. Simple.

It’s funny I even have to write this out but let it be a refresher for you chickenheads that CLAIM  to know this rule but never put it into practice.

#REALWOMEN RULE #1: Check your man before you check me.
(FYI: no  this post isn’t about me. I’m currently drama free and happily UNinvolved in any stupid man mix up, tyvm)

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