Phone Calls. I’m Afraid Of the Phone.

10 November 2009 at 8:59 pm (Life, technology, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

LOL. The title makes me laugh. Kind of. It’s a little sad, really.

It all started with email and instant messaging. Then texting and now Blackberry Messenger. If you hear my voice, chances are you’re my mom or my dad, or you’re listening to my voicemail.

I just don’t sit on the phone like that. I don’t even really talk to my best friends like that. I only talk to my mom because thats MY MOM. If she wasn’t my mom I’d be texting her non stop all day, too. And, as a matter of fact, I do that. LOL. We email and text each other throughout the day while we’re at work and then I almost don’t want to talk to her in the evening. I’m a bad daughter, I know.

I think I know where and when it started and how. I used to dread the phone because when I was younger and working 8-11 hour shifts in various call centers and arguing on the phone all day, the last thing I wanted to do was talk on one. Even my boyfriend at the time knew not to call me depending on the day I’d had. This came in handy though because he worked WITH me so it was a mutual understanding. Anyhow, I’m not REALLY afraid of the phone but I do hide from it. I often hit “ignore” or let it ring out and allow my voicemail to pick it up. I really only answer it if it’s a particular person and other than my brother and parents, that particular person(s) can vary and change DAILY. SMH.

Most people who know me know that I am easily and readily reachable by text msg or BBM (or email since all my emails go straight through to my blackberry). PDA’s are awesome but I feel like I’ve become completely disconnected. I don’t TALK to people, anymore. Not in the sense that really matters, you know? I don’t converse. I just … type. And unless you know me well … a lot of my sarcasm and jokes get lost in translation. I’ve come to realize I’m quicker and wittiest via words and text than in person. I’m not altogether sure how that works, given that all ideas and words still come from my head but come to my fingers quicker than out of my mouth. Odd.

I find that when  I start dating someone or liking someone, I’m likely to forgo the texting and actually TALK to them on the phone. Part of getting to know someone is to TALK to them, right? LOL .. obviously. However, interestingly enough, the last guy I dated actually found fault in the fact that I barely called him. I can count on one hand how many times I called him (and not because I was returning his call either). We dated quite casually for about 3 months. I called less than five times. Boo. He was like, “you never call me. do you even like me? you can call me too, you know” … I felt bad. I felt bad because I DID like him; I was interested but it never occurred to me to pick up the phone and call. Maybe I was being daft or …. just dumb? Who knows. The fact that we spoke mostly through BBM and this was our preferred method of communication, I believe, had something to do with that but now I’ve become so … wrapped up in technology that I don’t know how to go about speaking with someone I’ve just met. Or would like to get to know on a more intimate level. Hmm.

We’ve all become so busy with our lives this day in age and its like, shooting a text or email to someone is more convenient – because, after all, if you are calling someone like me who loves to ignore calls, they could actually be busy and there goes the conversation. I feel almost like I’m bothering people sometimes. And this is a funny way to feel because I don’t call people, really. Ever. I just hate interrupting others, because I hate being interrupted myself. And of course it’s no one’s fault or anything … Ms Cleo doesn’t live here. I dont know the future, I can’t read minds and sure as hell dont want to call no one now(ah).

Basically, there is someone right now that I’d like to get to know and wouldnt mind talking to … on the phone (ahh, i know, I know) but for the LIFE of me, I just can’t (or wont, or dont) pick up the phone. I’ve told him I dont want to bother him and he assured me I wouldn’t be but then I’m like … if he wasn’t so busy and had time to call me – why doesn’t HE call? So then I think, yea he doesnt call which means he has no time which in TURN means he’s too busy to take MY calls when I finally get up the nerve to ring him.

Oh what a tangled web I weave for myself. WTF!?

I don’t know why I’ve let technology get the best of me. I think I need to get back to the world. TO THE WORLD. But I would be lying to myself and to you if I said I could live without my phone. I’ve been cut off, I tried cutting myself off and I’ve had my phone taken away (BAD GIRL – dont ask) but I always come back … ALWAYS. I can’t NOT have a cell phone/PDA/love device. I love it too much.

Coping with this phone call thing is crazy. Intervention? Do we need one? I can’t be the only guilty party here! HELP ME!

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BBM Was Calling Me

5 June 2009 at 5:48 pm (Entertainment, Just For Fun!, Raves, technology) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

So, I was talking to my girl Amanda last night and she’s like: “You need to put your data plan back on the berry, woman, damn!” She was right but truthfully, I had/have NO discipline. My monthly bill was just MUCH TOO MUCH and even though I knew the ramifications of “browsing” on my phone, I just couldn’t bring myself to stop. (I wouldn’t be offended by the usage of “fiend” or “addict” or “crackhead” right now) So, I cut it off – cold turkey. I lost my BBM, my email, EVERYTHING. I felt like it was pointless having a Berry and no data plan but all the same it was also an added expense AND distraction I just couldn’t afford going back to school and all. But, I have since calmed the beast. Manders made me aware of a data plan through Rogers Wireless, where I get unlimited bbm usage, emails and texts, in addition to voicemail and call display (basically the same talk plan I had to begin with) for $25/mo. Should I choose to browse, I’m charged by usage. A pay as you browse deal, if you will. I rode the poor salesguy’s ass reiterating this over and over and over LMAO. I wanted to make sure the only “surprises” I’ll see on my bill are charges I incur IF I’m sitting on Facebook or Twitter (which I don’t need to go right now). He informed me that was correct so I told him to GO AHEAD! lol. If anyone is interested in adding my PIN please email me at: and I will send it to you.

I’m so happy to be back because I’ve missed it. Giving up BBM was harder than when I quit smoking. Seriously. LOL.

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