Are You Really Cockblocking If You’re Telling the Truth?

18 July 2010 at 8:08 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random) (, , , , , , , , )

I woke up the other morning to a bunch of emails on my Blackberry.

Anyone that’s on Facebook knows if you comment on someone’s picture you’ll get notifications that someone else commented after you. My emails stated the same chick commented on about 3 (or maybe it was 4 – don’t remember) pictures after me.

I get these messages ALL the time. I never pay attention but this time I did. The name was familiar to me. As well as the pictures she was commenting on. They were pictures of my ex. An ex from back when I was 20/21. This ex is not someone I talk to on a very regular basis but we are still good friends and we always have great conversations and still respect one another. It was this respect that made me do what I’m about to show you. I want to state that I grappled with doing this for about a week but I felt like, truthfully, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. What I’m about to show you some would say is “cock-blocking” (or for the sake of who’s involved – “pussy blocking”). But really?

Is it pussy blocking if I don’t want the guy and I’m telling the truth?

So, I hit him up and was like “What’s the deal with this broad?” and of course he wanted to know the history, why I was asking, etc, etc. I was honest and told him that this girl and I had never met face to face but that I had had interactions with her online. I explained we had some mutual friends. I explained that I didn’t knock the girl as far as her looks (she’s a pretty girl) and I wouldn’t talk about her being a whore or slut, even though I’d heard things (because who really knows anyone’s bedroom antics but the people involved?). All I could speak to was what I’d witnessed and read from her OWN accord. I told him flat-out I think she’s a bitch. She’s arrogant, self-centered, conceited and stuck up. I also said (from a personal standpoint) that she’s not a nice person. I could give you a couple of examples as to why I say this but the one that sticks out the most is: she tried to bright herself on a forum I used to belong to. Shortly before my grandmother succumbed to lung cancer, a few years ago, I had asked for prayers for her and my family and this bitch had the nerve to question why I was online (never mind the fact it was late at night and I had work the next morning) and stated I should have been with my grandmother at this time. She had no idea how severe (or lack thereof) the situation was. She just felt it was fine to make an unnecessary statement. When I read that (as well as remembered previous petty and snarky remarks she had made towards me unprovoked) I realized she wasn’t genuinely concerned for me. Had she been, I’d have allowed the comment but the word choice and blatant disregard for compassion pissed me off and it was then and there I realized I didn’t like this wench.

So, flash forward a few years later I see this trick is now trying to get in good with my ex? I had to let him know what I knew. Always fact. NEVER fiction. I didn’t even tell him about the aforementioned story because my personal dislike of her really didn’t have anything to do with me warning him about who she was as a person. I kept it straight and to the point.

I don’t want my ex back. We dated over 8 years ago and I’m very, very happy with the man I’m with now. But as I said, I consider him a good friend and he is an even better person. I know what he deserves, I know what he doesn’t. Quite simply, she’s just not good enough for him. Of course this isn’t my choice to make for him. But I believe EVERYONE has the right to know what they’re getting into. He needs to know her “nigga” of choice is a “street/thug nigga.” And he is NONE of those things. He’s a good, hard working man that has NEVER looked on that lifestyle as a good thing. Furthermore, he’s never been the type to look twice at females that do. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t pulling the wool over his eyes. If I was being spiteful or vindictive or if I wanted him, I’d be the first to admit my bias in the matter would be and should be questioned but it really and truly is about nothing more than me not wanting to see him with someone like her or worse, see him hurt. He deserves better.  Period. I am aware that this could make me look like a “hater” or a “cock blocker” but I don’t see it. I feel like I’m helping a friend make an informed decision. I would only hope he or any other of my friends would do the same for me.

Would this be a different story if this guy was a friend only and not an ex? Would it be different if I didn’t know the girl? (Of course it would). Would it be different if my ex was instead a female friend and the girl a guy? There are so many factors at work here and every situation is different. I even told him: “Fuck her, date her, have a good time with her but if you wife her I’ll object.” LOL! I said it jokingly but somewhat meant it.

In any event, if I have loyalty to anyone, it’s to him. And I did my part.  It’s in his hands now. I trust his judgement and I know he can’t be played or made a fool of. Knowing this is why I second guess if what I did was correct. If she’s all the things I say she is then he would see it without me having to tell him but life is too short to waste your time on chicks. Why shouldn’t I help out and speed up the inevitable? Straight up.

Besides, at at the end of the day KARMA IS A MOTHERFUCKER! Don’t talk shit about or to people you don’t know because one day you may find yourself liking some random guy you met online and his ex will be the first person to tell him what a BITCH you are.


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For the Late Folk: #TeamBlackberry – NEW UBER!!!

27 June 2010 at 1:53 pm (Entertainment, Just For Fun!, Raves, technology) (, , )

If you didn’t go to bed or wake up with this link, well now you have it.

The New Ubertwitter (Beta for Testers)

You’ll need to do this from your BB browser and not your PC (as the link is dead)

You’re welcome!

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Internet & Texting Made Me Anti-Social!

29 May 2010 at 7:40 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Random, technology) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The title of the blog says it all. I’ve been active on the internet for about 10 years now. Heavily so for about six. What I mean by heavily is that I frequent social networking sites and as you know, I blog. Aside from the ‘net, there’s the case of my phone (I own a Blackberry Bold 9700) and how IT has made me a slave to technology.

I rarely call people anymore. I’m more liable to use the computer or my phone to reach someone. It’s just quicker and almost all the people I know feel the same way. A lot of people won’t answer their phone but will answer fast as HELL to a text or BBM. I rarely make phone calls to my friends. Even my boyfriend and I rarely talk on the phone. We talk when we see each other, otherwise we text and BBM. Usually when I make an actual call, it’s to my mother.

For me, and maybe for others, talking on the phone requires me to give the person on the other end my undivided attention. To sit and have a conversation means to be an active listener with no distractions. In MY life there is ALWAYS some form of a distraction. If I text you or BBM or IM you I’m better able to multi-task. All I have to do is take a couple of seconds to reply/respond and then I can carry on doing what I was doing with little to no interruptions. I don’t think this is a bad thing necessarily but it DOES pose some problems. I’m no stranger to what I’m about to say. My words apply to myself as well. LOL.

When you start to rely on these forms of communication you almost become ignorant to how to interact with people in day-to-day life.  For those of us that work and are constantly around others from day-to-day we should consider ourselves lucky. Because we have that we will never become complete slaves to technology. For those of you that don’t get out (even just to a job) I feel for you. You probably are all kinds of messed up but anyway, I digress.

Even recently I’ve felt like I wasn’t as “quick” or “witty” on a phone call I was having as I am online. That’s not to say I take LONGER to type out a status or a tweet it just means that I seem to have more character online. WHY IS THAT? Anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I’m the same online as I am off but there is definitely a distinct difference between the two when it comes to my wit. This is only an example, tho. I notice little things. Little things like the fact that I swear more online, that I use words that I shouldn’t more online, that I deliver a joke better online and more. It could very well be because I have always, long before the days of the internet, expressed myself better with words. I AM a writer, you know ;). I notice these things about myself because I know me best but I wonder if it translates onto others and their perception of me? I hope not.

Another problem technology creates is the hate of people. I generally dislike humans. Why? I don’t trust them. Too many times have I come across people who don’t really act the same online as they do off. You have people acting out-of-pocket and out of character because the internet enables anyone to be who they desire to be rather than who they actually are. This, along with other factors, have caused me to look at people different, be more mistrusting and skeptical.  It’s hard to believe in people when all you see is a fabrication. I hate that this is now a trait of mine but that’s just how it is I suppose.

I definitely would like to get out of this technological funk but I’m a child of the times. This is what I know. Maybe the older I get the less I’ll be technologically inclined. Or maybe my knowledge will only get better with time and I’ll eventually become a decrepit hermit.

Or maybe I just need to learn to pick up my phone and SAY hello every now and then rather than type it.

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Phone Calls. I’m Afraid Of the Phone.

10 November 2009 at 8:59 pm (Life, technology, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

LOL. The title makes me laugh. Kind of. It’s a little sad, really.

It all started with email and instant messaging. Then texting and now Blackberry Messenger. If you hear my voice, chances are you’re my mom or my dad, or you’re listening to my voicemail.

I just don’t sit on the phone like that. I don’t even really talk to my best friends like that. I only talk to my mom because thats MY MOM. If she wasn’t my mom I’d be texting her non stop all day, too. And, as a matter of fact, I do that. LOL. We email and text each other throughout the day while we’re at work and then I almost don’t want to talk to her in the evening. I’m a bad daughter, I know.

I think I know where and when it started and how. I used to dread the phone because when I was younger and working 8-11 hour shifts in various call centers and arguing on the phone all day, the last thing I wanted to do was talk on one. Even my boyfriend at the time knew not to call me depending on the day I’d had. This came in handy though because he worked WITH me so it was a mutual understanding. Anyhow, I’m not REALLY afraid of the phone but I do hide from it. I often hit “ignore” or let it ring out and allow my voicemail to pick it up. I really only answer it if it’s a particular person and other than my brother and parents, that particular person(s) can vary and change DAILY. SMH.

Most people who know me know that I am easily and readily reachable by text msg or BBM (or email since all my emails go straight through to my blackberry). PDA’s are awesome but I feel like I’ve become completely disconnected. I don’t TALK to people, anymore. Not in the sense that really matters, you know? I don’t converse. I just … type. And unless you know me well … a lot of my sarcasm and jokes get lost in translation. I’ve come to realize I’m quicker and wittiest via words and text than in person. I’m not altogether sure how that works, given that all ideas and words still come from my head but come to my fingers quicker than out of my mouth. Odd.

I find that when  I start dating someone or liking someone, I’m likely to forgo the texting and actually TALK to them on the phone. Part of getting to know someone is to TALK to them, right? LOL .. obviously. However, interestingly enough, the last guy I dated actually found fault in the fact that I barely called him. I can count on one hand how many times I called him (and not because I was returning his call either). We dated quite casually for about 3 months. I called less than five times. Boo. He was like, “you never call me. do you even like me? you can call me too, you know” … I felt bad. I felt bad because I DID like him; I was interested but it never occurred to me to pick up the phone and call. Maybe I was being daft or …. just dumb? Who knows. The fact that we spoke mostly through BBM and this was our preferred method of communication, I believe, had something to do with that but now I’ve become so … wrapped up in technology that I don’t know how to go about speaking with someone I’ve just met. Or would like to get to know on a more intimate level. Hmm.

We’ve all become so busy with our lives this day in age and its like, shooting a text or email to someone is more convenient – because, after all, if you are calling someone like me who loves to ignore calls, they could actually be busy and there goes the conversation. I feel almost like I’m bothering people sometimes. And this is a funny way to feel because I don’t call people, really. Ever. I just hate interrupting others, because I hate being interrupted myself. And of course it’s no one’s fault or anything … Ms Cleo doesn’t live here. I dont know the future, I can’t read minds and sure as hell dont want to call no one now(ah).

Basically, there is someone right now that I’d like to get to know and wouldnt mind talking to … on the phone (ahh, i know, I know) but for the LIFE of me, I just can’t (or wont, or dont) pick up the phone. I’ve told him I dont want to bother him and he assured me I wouldn’t be but then I’m like … if he wasn’t so busy and had time to call me – why doesn’t HE call? So then I think, yea he doesnt call which means he has no time which in TURN means he’s too busy to take MY calls when I finally get up the nerve to ring him.

Oh what a tangled web I weave for myself. WTF!?

I don’t know why I’ve let technology get the best of me. I think I need to get back to the world. TO THE WORLD. But I would be lying to myself and to you if I said I could live without my phone. I’ve been cut off, I tried cutting myself off and I’ve had my phone taken away (BAD GIRL – dont ask) but I always come back … ALWAYS. I can’t NOT have a cell phone/PDA/love device. I love it too much.

Coping with this phone call thing is crazy. Intervention? Do we need one? I can’t be the only guilty party here! HELP ME!

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Hot 97 Drake Spoof

22 July 2009 at 10:05 pm (Celebrity, Entertainment, Funny Things, Just For Fun!, Music) (, , , , , , )

This is friggin’ hilarious. They got Drake good … all down to his arm flicking. I love it.  Enjoy.

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BBM Was Calling Me

5 June 2009 at 5:48 pm (Entertainment, Just For Fun!, Raves, technology) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

So, I was talking to my girl Amanda last night and she’s like: “You need to put your data plan back on the berry, woman, damn!” She was right but truthfully, I had/have NO discipline. My monthly bill was just MUCH TOO MUCH and even though I knew the ramifications of “browsing” on my phone, I just couldn’t bring myself to stop. (I wouldn’t be offended by the usage of “fiend” or “addict” or “crackhead” right now) So, I cut it off – cold turkey. I lost my BBM, my email, EVERYTHING. I felt like it was pointless having a Berry and no data plan but all the same it was also an added expense AND distraction I just couldn’t afford going back to school and all. But, I have since calmed the beast. Manders made me aware of a data plan through Rogers Wireless, where I get unlimited bbm usage, emails and texts, in addition to voicemail and call display (basically the same talk plan I had to begin with) for $25/mo. Should I choose to browse, I’m charged by usage. A pay as you browse deal, if you will. I rode the poor salesguy’s ass reiterating this over and over and over LMAO. I wanted to make sure the only “surprises” I’ll see on my bill are charges I incur IF I’m sitting on Facebook or Twitter (which I don’t need to go right now). He informed me that was correct so I told him to GO AHEAD! lol. If anyone is interested in adding my PIN please email me at: and I will send it to you.

I’m so happy to be back because I’ve missed it. Giving up BBM was harder than when I quit smoking. Seriously. LOL.

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