Are You Really Cockblocking If You’re Telling the Truth?

18 July 2010 at 8:08 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random) (, , , , , , , , )

I woke up the other morning to a bunch of emails on my Blackberry.

Anyone that’s on Facebook knows if you comment on someone’s picture you’ll get notifications that someone else commented after you. My emails stated the same chick commented on about 3 (or maybe it was 4 – don’t remember) pictures after me.

I get these messages ALL the time. I never pay attention but this time I did. The name was familiar to me. As well as the pictures she was commenting on. They were pictures of my ex. An ex from back when I was 20/21. This ex is not someone I talk to on a very regular basis but we are still good friends and we always have great conversations and still respect one another. It was this respect that made me do what I’m about to show you. I want to state that I grappled with doing this for about a week but I felt like, truthfully, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. What I’m about to show you some would say is “cock-blocking” (or for the sake of who’s involved – “pussy blocking”). But really?

Is it pussy blocking if I don’t want the guy and I’m telling the truth?

So, I hit him up and was like “What’s the deal with this broad?” and of course he wanted to know the history, why I was asking, etc, etc. I was honest and told him that this girl and I had never met face to face but that I had had interactions with her online. I explained we had some mutual friends. I explained that I didn’t knock the girl as far as her looks (she’s a pretty girl) and I wouldn’t talk about her being a whore or slut, even though I’d heard things (because who really knows anyone’s bedroom antics but the people involved?). All I could speak to was what I’d witnessed and read from her OWN accord. I told him flat-out I think she’s a bitch. She’s arrogant, self-centered, conceited and stuck up. I also said (from a personal standpoint) that she’s not a nice person. I could give you a couple of examples as to why I say this but the one that sticks out the most is: she tried to bright herself on a forum I used to belong to. Shortly before my grandmother succumbed to lung cancer, a few years ago, I had asked for prayers for her and my family and this bitch had the nerve to question why I was online (never mind the fact it was late at night and I had work the next morning) and stated I should have been with my grandmother at this time. She had no idea how severe (or lack thereof) the situation was. She just felt it was fine to make an unnecessary statement. When I read that (as well as remembered previous petty and snarky remarks she had made towards me unprovoked) I realized she wasn’t genuinely concerned for me. Had she been, I’d have allowed the comment but the word choice and blatant disregard for compassion pissed me off and it was then and there I realized I didn’t like this wench.

So, flash forward a few years later I see this trick is now trying to get in good with my ex? I had to let him know what I knew. Always fact. NEVER fiction. I didn’t even tell him about the aforementioned story because my personal dislike of her really didn’t have anything to do with me warning him about who she was as a person. I kept it straight and to the point.

I don’t want my ex back. We dated over 8 years ago and I’m very, very happy with the man I’m with now. But as I said, I consider him a good friend and he is an even better person. I know what he deserves, I know what he doesn’t. Quite simply, she’s just not good enough for him. Of course this isn’t my choice to make for him. But I believe EVERYONE has the right to know what they’re getting into. He needs to know her “nigga” of choice is a “street/thug nigga.” And he is NONE of those things. He’s a good, hard working man that has NEVER looked on that lifestyle as a good thing. Furthermore, he’s never been the type to look twice at females that do. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t pulling the wool over his eyes. If I was being spiteful or vindictive or if I wanted him, I’d be the first to admit my bias in the matter would be and should be questioned but it really and truly is about nothing more than me not wanting to see him with someone like her or worse, see him hurt. He deserves better.  Period. I am aware that this could make me look like a “hater” or a “cock blocker” but I don’t see it. I feel like I’m helping a friend make an informed decision. I would only hope he or any other of my friends would do the same for me.

Would this be a different story if this guy was a friend only and not an ex? Would it be different if I didn’t know the girl? (Of course it would). Would it be different if my ex was instead a female friend and the girl a guy? There are so many factors at work here and every situation is different. I even told him: “Fuck her, date her, have a good time with her but if you wife her I’ll object.” LOL! I said it jokingly but somewhat meant it.

In any event, if I have loyalty to anyone, it’s to him. And I did my part.  It’s in his hands now. I trust his judgement and I know he can’t be played or made a fool of. Knowing this is why I second guess if what I did was correct. If she’s all the things I say she is then he would see it without me having to tell him but life is too short to waste your time on chicks. Why shouldn’t I help out and speed up the inevitable? Straight up.

Besides, at at the end of the day KARMA IS A MOTHERFUCKER! Don’t talk shit about or to people you don’t know because one day you may find yourself liking some random guy you met online and his ex will be the first person to tell him what a BITCH you are.


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I Won’t Let My Girl Do That!

24 May 2010 at 2:30 pm (Love & Relationships, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , )

I was laying in bed this morning having a conversation with someone about relationships, sex, wifey’s vs. hoes and etc.

We got onto the subject of men wanting a “freak in the sheets and a lady in the streets” and I said I was convinced that regardless of what men SAY they actually would take a “good girl” that’s OK or not so good in bed over a girl who was great in bed but maybe not so great in other areas (like being a good girlfriend). He told me I was wrong because for HIM if he took the girl who was OK in bed, he’s sure he would cheat on her within weeks.

Now, this isn’t to say we think sex is the most important part of a relationship – it isn’t. We did agree, however, that it’s up there. It’s important to have that compatibility and familiarity with your partner. It’s important to have passion and that bond physically with someone you are committed to, otherwise infidelity will rear its ugly head. How many times have you heard that when men cheat it’s just all about sex; nothing more, nothing less but when women cheat there is a degree of emotion involved? I believe that to be hogwash. If it was JUST sex when a man cheated why would he continue to go back to the same woman over and over. He’s getting what he wants. On more than just a sexual level and if what he wants he’s getting from someone other than his woman, WHY is he with her?

I brought up the fact that a lot of men will never wife a “freak” because for some the word “freak” is synonymous with the word “hoe”. Most people should know better but that’s the stigma that’s attached. It is how it is. A hoe and a freak do not HAVE to be the same thing. A woman could be her man’s personal freak and do all the things sexually to keep him happy and satisfied. This doesn’t make her a hoe. See what I mean? However, some guys refuse to differentiate the two. This is unfair.

The guy I was having this conversation with spoke of a guy he knew and how this guy wouldn’t allow his girl to give him oral pleasure. In the six years they’ve been together she’s never given him head once. “But when he wants his dick sucked he goes and cheats on her, doesn’t he?”  I asked. It felt more like a statement because I already knew the answer. The question was confirmed and my boy said his friend replied with “I wouldn’t let her do that. She’s the wife. She could be the mother of my children.”  How is it logical that you have a woman you love and respect and are with for 6 years but you can justify cheating on her because she’s wifey and wifey doesn’t do these sorts of things? To me that’s the most illogical bull crap I’ve ever heard. Your partner should be willing to do anything needed to keep you happy and satisfied, sexually, spiritually, emotionally … and it goes without saying that this works BOTH ways.

Why NOT do all the nasty, pleasurable, freaky things with your life partner than with some random chick? Sexuality is whatever you are comfortable with.You should be comfortable with your partner. I would never want my man to step out on me to get pleasure from someone else when I’m more than capable of giving it to him. In the case of the guy my boy told me about though, it appears that his woman never even had a chance or a choice. There’s a difference between willing to please and not knowing how or being able but when you aren’t even given the chance, that’s messed up!

Why would someone think that giving head is something only “hoes do” and wifed girls don’t do? Its 2010. WHY is there still a stigma attached to oral sex? My boy says it’s about trust. He tried to explain to me that the reason some men feel this way is because they figure if a girl is willing to do all these “freaky” things with them, chances are a man before them also experienced these things and guys don’t want to know some other man had what they have currently. But come on, unless you sleep with a virgin this is inevitable. Be secure and comfortable with your sexuality. That’s an insecurity issue. If you aren’t secure enough to be in a sexually mature relationship then DON’T BE IN ONE. Simple.

All this being said though, it makes me wonder. Should I be the kind of female that scales back her freakiness so that I can become wifed and take my chances of being cheated on or should I be true to my sexual self and be how I am and not have a relationship because a man thinks I’m a hoe because I do freaky things in the bedroom? WHAT KIND OF OPTIONS ARE THOSE? As a sexually independent woman, those options SUCK. Be a freak and be labelled a hoe and have no relationships or be a good girl in a relationship having basic sex with my man so he can go get freaked out by another woman (who – in his eyes is likely a  hoe). LOL! Illogical fuckery.

I know that not all guys feel this way but I’ve had this conversation with more than a few men and sadly I know more guys that feel this way than ones that don’t. I can usually understand where people are coming from regarding these things and I can see both sides to everything whether I agree or not but on THIS particular issue I can’t see the logic AT ALL. I don’t condone cheating or misleading anyone and I feel like if you want a girl that’s a freak then wife a girl that’s a freak – and again this doesn’t mean you wife a hoe. You wife a girl who keeps her freaky dealings behind closed doors. A girl that is what you want in private. There are women out there that are like that. Yes, it may be hard to find but when is finding your partner ever easy? A lot of things are hard to find these days. You know what it comes down to, though? Not rushing into things with people. Communicating. That’s it, that’s all.

If more people were communicating OPENLY about sex and sexuality before they got into a relationship, a lot of bullshit could be avoided later on. Sex shouldn’t be breaking up a partnership. Finances, lies, deceit (not sexually related) and other situations should be what contributes to a break up. Sex is easy. Sex feels good. Sex is pleasure. There is no reason why a couple should be breaking up over it. If you want head then why not have the woman you desire most give it to you? Wouldn’t it feel better? Wouldn’t it mean more? If she’s a prude and doesn’t do that then why did you even “wife” her in the first place? Cheating, no matter how you justify it is wrong, and if the woman you’ve been with for 6 years is too much of a Queen to suck your dick but some hoe in the street is, then maybe relationships and all they stand for just aren’t for you.

Find out what the hell you want, stop wasting people’s time.

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Misconstrued Notions Of Marriage

6 May 2010 at 6:04 pm (Family, Life, Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , )

I would LOVE to get married one day. For sure. BUT with all that I’ve been through personally, and all that I’ve seen other’s go through, I’m not rushing to get married. IF I get married at all, to be honest.

For MY generation, the idea of marriage has been highly misconstrued. The purpose of marriage is to procreate and make a family. People aren’t getting married for those reasons. People are getting married because they have children, not to be confused with making them. People are getting married for tax breaks and other financial gains. People are getting married because they are pressured to do so by friends and family. People are getting married because “Hey, why not? We’ve been together 8 years“. How many people are getting married because they LOVE one another? Because they want to spend their life with that person?

“You don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry someone you cannot live without.”

My own personal viewpoints of marriage aside, I think marriage is a wonderful thing – when done right and for the right reasons. A lot of times you have people misconstruing the idea behind it. To best explain what I mean I use a quote I heard a long time ago that struck a chord with me and made a LOT of sense:

“Men only want in-house pussy while women only want a wedding.”

No commitment. No genuine love. Just need, need, want and greed. Sad truly. If a guy can get a girl to marry him then he never has to worry about sex again. Come on everyone, we all know its harder for men to get sex than it is for women. Men have to work for it. With his wife, its there. Hence, in-house pussy. HOWEVER, they ALSO say once you get married the sex stops. And the cheating starts “there’s no pussy like new pussy” EW! So they say …. so they say. Women, while wanting a commitment always want the flashy expensive wedding to show out and have that dream fantasy wedding most have been thinking of since they were children BUT how many of these same women would marry at City Hall if need be for the sake of saving money or convenience? I can bet you not many, hence, women wanting a wedding and not a marriage *sigh*.

Last night on twitter I made a passing comment on marriage to which a follower of mine replied:

“@lovebugstarsky but then again it aint tradition! It’s the commitment to God.”

Now, I would’ve gotten into it with him (not rudely, just a discussion) but religion is something I don’t debate. Religion is a personal choice and decision and I don’t think personal choices and decisions need be talked about. Plus, we don’t know each other all that well to be having such a discussion. I was cool with his words and respectful of his viewpoint but in all honesty, marriage to me IS traditional. And if I marry someone I’m committing to THEM, not God. However, said commitment is BEFORE God. It’s semantics really but important ones in MY eyes, nonetheless.

OK, that’s enough about religion (lol).

In today’s society a common-law couple has the same rights legally as a married couple. Even if that common-law couple was to split up they can still go to court to fight for property and monies obtained within the relationship just as a married couple would do if they got divorced. My whole thing is this: I don’t want to get a divorce. I’d rather just walk away from my partner. It’s just as much pain, but less expensive. LOL … One would think I’m saying all marriage comes down to is money in that sense and sometimes it does. A lot of couples start out in debt after paying for their huge, lavish wedding and honeymoon, don’t they? Things that make you go hmm.

Divorce is another thing altogether. One shouldn’t walk into a marriage fearing divorce. I mean, that’s just setting yourself up for failure. No one should walk into ANYTHING with the thought of a negative outcome but with the rates as high as they are you can’t help but wonder. Someone told me once that the divorce rates are skewed and the numbers aren’t as high as “they” would have us believe. Even if that IS true, the fact that its OUT there already puts the idea into your head that your marriage has a pretty good chance at failing.

Personally, I’m not going to subscribe to that “I don’t need a piece of paper to show my love and commitment” ideal because honestly, marriage is just more than a piece of paper BUT that doesn’t mean I need a marriage to define my commitment to the man I plan to be with for the rest of my life, either.

Another issue I have with marriage is the assumption I MUST take my husband’s name. I have no problem with that but because I have a child I have to think about her. Unless she is legally adopted I don’t want her to be the only family member with a different last name. I actually had my ex-boyfriend tell me he wouldn’t and couldn’t marry me if I didn’t take his last name. I explained my reasoning and even said I would hyphenate and he said no. I thought hyphenating my name was a great compromise but he said no. End of story. Needless to say, he’s my EX-boyfriend.  I don’t altogether fault him for his beliefs but I feel that when it comes to marriage, it should be a partnership and not a “my way or the highway” type of deal. Clearly,  I took the highway.

I feel that if I do get married one day it WILL MOST DEFINITELY be for the right reasons and it will be because I am so 100% convinced this is the person for me and that’s all there is to it. While I’ve come extremely close to feeling that way about someone I’m still not married so … unless I feel that way again, I’m pretty good with common-law and I don’t see the issue with that.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter. Feel free to post and comment. Let’s discuss!

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Who Does Secrecy REALLY Protect?

4 May 2010 at 3:02 pm (Life, Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Privacy vs. secrecy. There’s a difference you know.

Let’s explain. You have two people who like each other and are dating and getting to know each other. One party probably likes the other party more and therefore wants to share with their friends the excitement they feel at the potential of what could possibly be a relationship. However, the other party isn’t really sure and while they may like this person, they don’t know if they actually SEE potential. So, rather than just come out and SAY this, they delay the inevitable, allowing party A to feel something is growing between them, when in reality had they just paid attention to the signs, a huge confuffle would’ve been avoided.

When men and women like each other – and REALLY like each other, there’s no stopping them from telling the world. When a guy meets a great girl, every one of his friends knows it. He may not sing her praises or put her on a pedestal (right away) but he will at the very least say he’s met a girl that he’s crazy for. Don’t believe me? Ask any male. With women, it’s even more so. Why? Because we’re emotional creatures like that. We meet a guy that sweeps us off our feet, we do everything and tell everyone short of taking out an ad in the local paper. And no that’s not an exaggeration, believe me – lol.

There’s a difference between being a private person and letting all your business hang out for the world to see. Then add being flat out SECRETIVE about who you’re with and that adds a whole other dynamic to the conversation. It’s only human nature to showcase your happiness. And rarely will someone NOT do that unless other factors come into play. When dating someone pay attention to the signs of whether or not you are being kept a secret for a legitimate reason (which I personally think there isn’t one) or for something more sinister. Privacy vs. secrecy. Know the difference.

If you are dating someone of “stature” and you don’t measure up, chances are you won’t be raved about. Let’s be honest. If you look at who you’re dating, talking to, sleeping with and etc, and you feel you aren’t up to their standards, chances are they feel the same way. It’s almost like they are too ashamed to come out and admit they like you or are with you because they fear what others think. Or, because of their own self-hatred feel they have taken a step back by being with someone who’s clearly not on the level of the last person they dated. They feel ashamed and put that shame onto you, which is so wrong on so many levels. They CHOSE to be with you – in whatever capacity, yet punish you because you aren’t good enough. Why mess with you then? Probably because you made yourself available in whatever way they needed you to be. Once you have fulfilled your purpose, they will discard you for someone more their “type”. This isn’t too far from the truth in most cases but rarely will you find someone to be honest enough to admit that. Most people don’t want to be seen as someone who’s “dating down” … so even if the situation they have is a good one, if you aren’t an “upgrade” chances are you won’t be spoken about.  Who does the secrecy protect? Their reputation. One they probably don’t even realize means shit all.

There are some people who actually have been through the fire when it comes to putting themselves and their relationship out there for consumption and depending on how sincere they are when explaining their reasoning, the keeping you a secret COULD be legitimate. Let’s use Facebook as a prime example. Most people will tell you how crazy Facebook can be when it comes to relationships and how foul it can be. First of all, let me state it’s not the site or the “in a relationship with” option that breaks up a relationship. It’s the people who sign up and can’t mind their own business and the couple that allows third parties to break up a happy home. There have long since been leeches and bloodsuckers ready to break up a relationship – Facebook and the internet just make it that much easier is all. And boy I tell ya … misery loves her some company. I prefer to let people know I have someone but I ALSO prefer to keep that someone to myself. My closest friends and loved ones know who he is but I don’t need his name on my page, nor does his face or our pictures  belong everywhere for people to see, comment on or have randoms add to their own friends list that don’t even know him. What does that privacy protect? Our relationship.

Then you have those people who altogether REFUSE to acknowledge you in any capacity. They don’t even want to make it look like you’re their friend.  They barely text you (because that’s evidence) and if you try to talk to them, the convo’s are short and to the point. Most of anything you speak about is done face to face. For all intents and purposes, you basically only know them from the ‘net. You may be on their friends or follower lists but yet they don’t write on your wall or tweet you. If they acknowledge you at all its in a very general and HUGELY platonic way. To anyone looking in from the outside you’re probably just someone they know through the ‘net, in passing or from around the way. They’d never guess this was someone you see, sleep with and date regularly. This is probably the worst situation to be in, reason being because you probably are so blinded by their bullshit that you don’t see the signs that you are “the other” woman/man. More than likely, you’ve got that gut feeling that something about the way they treat you isn’t right but you still continue on this path because for whatever reason you’ve got no other path to travel. It’s so unhealthy and while you can’t prove it one thing you suspect is the secrecy this time, is usually protecting the boyfriend or girlfriend. Or wife. Or husband. SMH.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the need for privacy. These days having a relationship is so hard because there are always people who want to bring you down and see you unhappy, which is really sad! If people spent as much time looking at their OWN lives rather than looking at other peoples’ imagine what the world would be like. But I’m preaching to the choir. At the same time, though, a relationship involves two people and two people only – not the world. Those two people have to be strong on their own and with each other to not allow outside influences break them apart. This doesn’t mean its OK to be secretive about your love and happiness but it means that BOTH people have to be on the same page about keeping things quiet. If it hurts your partner to constantly seem like a ghost in your life then you owe it to them to somehow make them know that’s not the case. How its done really depends on the status of your relationship with them and how creative you are. You need to find a balance in your relationship so that your partner feels you are proud of them and proud to be WITH them. Otherwise, self-doubt  rears its ugly head and all kinds of other emotions crop up, least of all resentment. It’s easily avoidable and the only way it can be done is through communication.

Keeping your relationship PRIVATE is one thing, keeping it a SECRET is another. There’s a fine line and minor difference between the two but be careful walking it. It could be what drives a wedge between you and the person you claim to care so much for. Once you cross that line, be prepared for all that comes along with it. Guaranteed if you make the wrong choice you’ll end up paying for it in the end and realizing it wasn’t worth it. Be wise within your relationship. Be fair to your mate.

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Relationships Are Like Jobs

10 April 2010 at 10:59 am (Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

This is a no brainer. We’ve all heard this comparison before, right? Here’s the thing though:  Some people treat relationships like hard LABOUR! Relationships are hard work, sure. They’re like jobs, yes but they don’t have to be so hard.  The key to making every job easier is open communication with your co-worker or boss, or in the sense I’m speaking of – with your partner. Talking things out is always the best thing to do but it always becomes how you say things not what you say. If you let things sit and marinate for too long then it builds up and turns into resentment. And when the slightest thing happens in your relationship you snap. It’s the straw that breaks the camels back and all this outpouring of resentment rains down on your partners shoulders and they feel attacked and quite often what do they say? “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Yea, why didn’t you? Fear of confrontation? Fear of thinking it wasn’t worthy of a conversation? But yet, here you are now throwing all that’s been bothering you at them when the issue that caused the argument in the first place has nothing to do with the past. That’s unfair. Imagine if you were on the receiving end of that discussion … how would that make you feel?

Why is it that we can yell at our better half’s but would never dream of yelling at our boss? You know if you step over a line you’ll lose your job but why do we feel if we step over a line we won’t lose our significant other? Because they love you? Because emotions are involved? Take it from me, that will only last so long. Communicating openly and effectively – talking AND listening AND understanding – will keep you heads above many other couples. Love is not enough. It can sustain you but when life hands you a pink slip or lay off notice don’t act surprised when that love burns out. Don’t run a good thing into the ground thinking you can rely on it. You’ll bleed love dry. Don’t ever let it get to that point.

It’s important to voice your concerns sincerely and without malice or anger. If you do the latter your hopes for a good outcome are futile. Understand that if there’s something going on in your relationship that concerns you, you must let your partner know.  They can’t work with you to fix something they aren’t aware of. And you can’t hold that against them even though many of us do. Unless you’re dating a psychic, your partner isn’t a mind reader. No matter how small the issue, DISCUSS it. Don’t be worried about them thinking your nitpicking or nagging. After all, once again, it’s how you say it, not what you say. If you say it with a nagging quality then chances are that’s how it will come across and be perceived. And if you KNOW you’re nitpicking then either you aren’t stating your case strongly enough because they aren’t getting it OR they don’t care to change (or try to change) their behaviours, in which case you have a bigger issue at hand. Cross that bridge when you come to it. Effective communication works wonders and when you get the hang of how well it works you’d be surprised at how well it’s received by the people who love you most. Trust me.

Treat your relationship like a job you love and put all effort and joy into making it stay that way. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy argument now and then. It makes your relationship stronger and your understanding of your partner so much better.

Relationships are great if you know how to handle them but if you don’t or can’t, then recognize it’s not for you. Move on. Live life and be happy.

To close, take this in:

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2 April 2010 at 12:06 pm (Love & Relationships, Lyrics & Quotes, Random) (, , , )

“I will trust you to the end of the earth and back. I will trust you until you give me a reason not to but the minute that trust is gone, you will find it hard as hell to get back.” © Corprah Lanfrey

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You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Til It’s Gone

2 April 2010 at 11:34 am (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships) (, , , , )

For real. That’s a song, right? It’s also a life lesson.

It can apply to a lost love, friendship and even in some cases a job. Hey … it can work. You can apply life lessons to ANY aspect of your life, believe me. Even jobs and work LOL!

Yesterday was April Fool’s Day and I didn’t partake but a couple of people tried to play jokes on me. THEY SURE DID! I changed my Facebook status to “in a relationship” because I am and I swear doing that brought out all the living under a rock mofos. WHAT!? SMH. Why do people do that? It shows me that either you are extremely nosey and only want to know whats going on in my life when you see something happening OR ……… OK, that’s all it shows me.

So, of all the people who hit me up after that status change, ONE stood out in particular and I won’t get into specifics about the conversation but I’ll say this – he definitely has regret. I was ON HIS SIDE. I was there to be what he needed me to be. A friend, a lover, confidante, his woman … and he SEEMINGLY wanted all of the above. He outright stated as much but … the next day he ran because he stated he had a PERSONAL situation to deal with. Rather than being a man about his shit and just saying so, he ignored my calls and didn’t explain his sudden disappearance. Now, me being one to NEVER pursue a man nor wait around on one that’s indecisive, I moved on. Not before I let him have it though – of course.

Nothing was said over weeks. Not a damn thing. But the MINUTE my status changes an outpouring of “genuine” and “sincere” apologies come my way. He was on some “this has been bothering me” shit, but … you hit me up only NOW? Why? I flat-out asked him: “did my status change have anything to do with this?” he adamantly said no and that he didn’t realize. Maybe he didn’t but we can all agree the timing is quite coincidental, can’t we? April Fool’s is not one to be lost on me. Don’t tell me no jokes. Don’t play no pranks.

In the course of the conversation I felt like I was being pressured or tricked or hinted to. At one point he said with almost ….. anticipated curiosity “I know there’s no way we’ll ever be together like that, I know I fucked up” and I just sat there in silence. WHAT is it you want me to say to that?

The point of this story is never take a woman for granted. If she is GOOD to you and treats you good and  caters to you, because that’s her nature and NOT because she’s trying to BUY you, then keep her close. DO NOT take her for granted and feel you can do what you want with her and her heart because behind that soft exterior is usually a VERY self-aware and strong woman who won’t take your bullshit. Pride is a son of a bitch and a lot of you men have way too much of it. A good woman can recognize and see pride for what it is but when you outright push her away due to being too proud how much do you think she’ll take before she moves on? A good woman KNOWS her worth and won’t stick around in a situation where she isn’t praised and taken care of: emotionally, physically and spiritually. She may try to voice herself to you and make you aware that she is THERE for you but she probably won’t do it more than once. She expects the men she cares for to be intelligent enough to only need to hear something once before changes and adjustments are made and she expects this because she expects that of herself.

You WILL regret letting this woman get away not because she is “the shit” and because “you’ll never find anyone as good as her” but because your conscience will tell you that’s no way to treat someone who was good to you. And when there is such a shortage of good men and women in this generation, you’ll chalk it up to “falling down” and a “learning experience”. That’s good to tell yourself but don’t act like it won’t mess you up the next time you meet some chick and all she wants from you is what you can do for her.

Stay up and treat people the way they DESERVE to be treated. Kindergarten lessons have never been so easy, folk!

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Guess Who Got A Tumblr?

24 March 2010 at 10:14 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Entertainment, Funny Things, Just For Fun!, Life, Love & Relationships, Lyrics & Quotes, Random, Raves, Site Information/Updates, Sites To Check For) (, )

Hey Readers!

Just what I need, right? LOL … ANOTHER blog. But what can I do? I’m a blogging ADDICT! Check me out on >>> TUMBLR <<< and follow me. I’ll be sure to do the same.

Corprah xo

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Not Everyone Is A Respectful Someone

21 March 2010 at 2:46 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random, Rants) (, , , , , , )

If you flirt with me and you aren’t single and I KNOW that, your girl would probably never have a problem with me. Why? Cuz I’d ignore you and dismiss you. Men: DO NOT FLIRT WITH ME WHEN YOU HAVE A WOMAN! This shouldn’t be rocket science but a lot of you people in relationships seem to think flirting is OK or acceptable. Unless the two of you have talked about it AT LENGTH and don’t think flirting with others is an issue in your relationship – don’t do it.

Even if you say to me: “my girl won’t care, she knows I love her” I still won’t flirt with you. I find that to be so disrespectful and while I don’t have to like or respect your girl, I do respect the fact a relationship is being had and I wouldn’t want that done to me. Period. Karma is a bitch. And I hate bitches.

Not everyone views relationships the way I do, though. They’ll say shit like “what so and so doesn’t know won’t hurt them” or “he/she does it, so why can’t I?” or “I don’t owe that person anything; she better worry about their man” …. and yes, the latter statement may very well be true but that doesn’t mean you stoop to such a low-level that you infiltrate someone’s relationship and truly believe there wont be any consequences. There are MANY single people out there to mess around with, why do you think its cool to mess with someone that already has someone? WHY do you think, as an involved party in a relationship, that it’s OK to step away from your partner and seek the attention or desire from someone else? Jokes are jokes but be aware that there is a fine line and if you cross it there’s no turning back.

Some of you people need to start making wiser choices within your relationships or just don’t BE IN ONE.  What you are lacking in your relationship your partner WILL find in someone else. Believe this. I’ve seen it happen. I don’t get wanting of the cake and eating it too mentality. You can have ur cake and eat it too with MANY different people (if you’re about that) without involving emotional feelings of others! If you WANT a relationship, want it  all or no dice – just be single.  And if after awhile you realize that a relationship isn’t for you, tell your partner and get out of it before you HURT someone! There’s no reason to drag someone else into your selfish ego-stroking agenda.

Relationships these days have me SO jaded! Can’t you tell? haha!

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The Passion Is In the Risk

13 March 2010 at 12:31 pm (Life, Love & Relationships) (, , , , , , , , )

I was watching the new romantic comedy, When In Rome, a couple weeks ago and it wasn’t the best movie but it was OK. Dope enough to watch alone on a Sunday afternoon … BOOTLEG of course, haha! Anyway, there was a simple line in the movie that made me think about my life and the lives of a few people around me. The line was “the passion is in the risk“. The concept in which it was used isn’t that important because it can transcend not just romantic relationships but friendships and even work situations as well. When you have a desire for a person, a thing, a job/career, music or whatever else you could have a passion for,  unless you are actually doing something about it … there is no genuine love for it. For instance, if you have a passion to write but are never writing or submitting your works for publication, where is the passion? Taking that first initial step, that risk, is where the passion is. It shows you that by taking these steps to get the job done you are passionate about what it is that you want done or want to do. For whatever reason, though, we don’t do this because of fear, shyness, pessimism, lack of confidence, not wanting to be rejected – the excuse list goes on and on. No one ever said the world would be a nice, easy place to live in. The old adage of “life is what you make it” really is the truth.

In MY case I was thinking about relationships and how I feel about them. I’m completely jaded towards them for reasons of my own that shall remain private but again, thinking of this simple movie line, I had to sit and think for a GOOD FEW DAYS if my opinion on relationships is really a valid one or me just being scared due to past experiences and reactions I’ve had as of late. If I take no risks in being with someone then there is nothing passionate about this relationship. I’d be settling and / or alone and pretty much miserable. That’s not to say I HAVE to have someone. Unless you are truly ready for a relationship all these talks don’t really apply to you. I’m speaking to the people that are single right now, not by choice, but maybe due to some bad luck, bad choices and actually want to do better … I’m basing this on the deep human nature of wanting to have companionship and real love in your life without all the bs that comes along with it. MOST of us want that. MOST of us are ok with being alone for a short time only. Not everyone wants to be alone and if they say they do, deep down they DO want to share their life with a special someone. Maybe not right now but eventually. Procreation and life has to occur with someone else. Last I checked we aren’t asexual insects ;).

I started thinking of my past relationships and whether enough risks were taken. And in only ONE relationship did I do that. And to this day, it remains the relationship most near and dear to my heart and with the fondest of memories. I can know with 1000% certainty I will never feel that again. Those kinds of feelings and relationships, where you know with absolute positivity your partner feels the same way, only occur once in life. I truly believe this.  The reason that relationship still haunts me to this day is because there were risks, there were steps taken to make something work, that in other cases wouldn’t, but it didn’t work out because the most important risk, the one that would cement everything, was never moved on. It remained stagnant, and so did we. With all that being said, the ones we DID take, took strong dedication and love and guess what? It was THE most, and remains the most, passionate relationship of my life.

This simple quote had SO much meaning to me in my life and if you think back to the instances of your own I’m sure you could take and apply it to yourself. Surely, it will hold poignant meaning for you as well. My advice is to always take risks. We’ve got only so much time on this earth. Only so much time to do what it is we were put here to do. If we sit back and let time pass us by without going after what we want then we won’t ever get the full magnitude of what it is we desire.

With that being said, there’s a risk I’m going to take and if all goes well I’ll be sharing that with you in less than 2 months. I’m being serious, readers. TAKE RISKS in your life. More often than not, those risks will pay off and if they don’t then at least you know you won’t be scared to do it again once another opportunity presents itself. Best wishes!

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