Are You Really Cockblocking If You’re Telling the Truth?

18 July 2010 at 8:08 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Love & Relationships, Random) (, , , , , , , , )


I woke up the other morning to a bunch of emails on my Blackberry.

Anyone that’s on Facebook knows if you comment on someone’s picture you’ll get notifications that someone else commented after you. My emails stated the same chick commented on about 3 (or maybe it was 4 – don’t remember) pictures after me.

I get these messages ALL the time. I never pay attention but this time I did. The name was familiar to me. As well as the pictures she was commenting on. They were pictures of my ex. An ex from back when I was 20/21. This ex is not someone I talk to on a very regular basis but we are still good friends and we always have great conversations and still respect one another. It was this respect that made me do what I’m about to show you. I want to state that I grappled with doing this for about a week but I felt like, truthfully, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. What I’m about to show you some would say is “cock-blocking” (or for the sake of who’s involved – “pussy blocking”). But really?

Is it pussy blocking if I don’t want the guy and I’m telling the truth?

So, I hit him up and was like “What’s the deal with this broad?” and of course he wanted to know the history, why I was asking, etc, etc. I was honest and told him that this girl and I had never met face to face but that I had had interactions with her online. I explained we had some mutual friends. I explained that I didn’t knock the girl as far as her looks (she’s a pretty girl) and I wouldn’t talk about her being a whore or slut, even though I’d heard things (because who really knows anyone’s bedroom antics but the people involved?). All I could speak to was what I’d witnessed and read from her OWN accord. I told him flat-out I think she’s a bitch. She’s arrogant, self-centered, conceited and stuck up. I also said (from a personal standpoint) that she’s not a nice person. I could give you a couple of examples as to why I say this but the one that sticks out the most is: she tried to bright herself on a forum I used to belong to. Shortly before my grandmother succumbed to lung cancer, a few years ago, I had asked for prayers for her and my family and this bitch had the nerve to question why I was online (never mind the fact it was late at night and I had work the next morning) and stated I should have been with my grandmother at this time. She had no idea how severe (or lack thereof) the situation was. She just felt it was fine to make an unnecessary statement. When I read that (as well as remembered previous petty and snarky remarks she had made towards me unprovoked) I realized she wasn’t genuinely concerned for me. Had she been, I’d have allowed the comment but the word choice and blatant disregard for compassion pissed me off and it was then and there I realized I didn’t like this wench.

So, flash forward a few years later I see this trick is now trying to get in good with my ex? I had to let him know what I knew. Always fact. NEVER fiction. I didn’t even tell him about the aforementioned story because my personal dislike of her really didn’t have anything to do with me warning him about who she was as a person. I kept it straight and to the point.

I don’t want my ex back. We dated over 8 years ago and I’m very, very happy with the man I’m with now. But as I said, I consider him a good friend and he is an even better person. I know what he deserves, I know what he doesn’t. Quite simply, she’s just not good enough for him. Of course this isn’t my choice to make for him. But I believe EVERYONE has the right to know what they’re getting into. He needs to know her “nigga” of choice is a “street/thug nigga.” And he is NONE of those things. He’s a good, hard working man that has NEVER looked on that lifestyle as a good thing. Furthermore, he’s never been the type to look twice at females that do. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t pulling the wool over his eyes. If I was being spiteful or vindictive or if I wanted him, I’d be the first to admit my bias in the matter would be and should be questioned but it really and truly is about nothing more than me not wanting to see him with someone like her or worse, see him hurt. He deserves better.  Period. I am aware that this could make me look like a “hater” or a “cock blocker” but I don’t see it. I feel like I’m helping a friend make an informed decision. I would only hope he or any other of my friends would do the same for me.

Would this be a different story if this guy was a friend only and not an ex? Would it be different if I didn’t know the girl? (Of course it would). Would it be different if my ex was instead a female friend and the girl a guy? There are so many factors at work here and every situation is different. I even told him: “Fuck her, date her, have a good time with her but if you wife her I’ll object.” LOL! I said it jokingly but somewhat meant it.

In any event, if I have loyalty to anyone, it’s to him. And I did my part.  It’s in his hands now. I trust his judgement and I know he can’t be played or made a fool of. Knowing this is why I second guess if what I did was correct. If she’s all the things I say she is then he would see it without me having to tell him but life is too short to waste your time on chicks. Why shouldn’t I help out and speed up the inevitable? Straight up.

Besides, at at the end of the day KARMA IS A MOTHERFUCKER! Don’t talk shit about or to people you don’t know because one day you may find yourself liking some random guy you met online and his ex will be the first person to tell him what a BITCH you are.

😉

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2 Comments

  1. Fave said,

    real friends keep it 100. some would say “stay out of it” but I would at least give the heads and say, “proceed with caution.”

    There’s nothing worse than when you’re sitting around with your friends (after a nasty breakup) and that one friend says, “I knew s/he wasn’t s***!” and start running off all they knew about them DURING your relationship.

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      thanks for your comment!
      wordm though. if i wanted to “hate” or bad mouth her I would’ve been extremely catty with my comments but I wasn’t. I simply told the truth and said, I dont expect you to make your decision based on what i’ve said but just be careful and keep your eyes open!

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