Interracial Dating

13 February 2010 at 7:03 pm (Love & Relationships, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


It’s not that I’m against interracial dating. I’d be silly to be against it.  I come from a family where EVERYONE is mixed with something – myself included. What I have a problem with is the reasons behind why some people do it. I try to not pass judgement or make assumptions as to why a couple may be together but when you observe the masses as much as I do you get to know who’s genuinely in love and who’s just in lust and who’s just doing it for the experience. I’m not so much griping about the people that do it for the experience though. It’s human nature to be curious and hey, through experience you learn and build knowledge. To each his own.

Earlier in the week, John Mayer had the internet going crazy with his comments about dating black women (or his lack of dating black women) and his use of the “N” word. This isn’t the blog for me to express my opinions on THAT subject but I’ll say this: #1. I don’t care that he used the word. I really don’t. #2. John Mayer needs some chocolate in his lil perfect lily white life. LOL.

Ok, no …  all jokes aside there is a difference between loving who someone is and loving someone for who you think them to be. For example, when I see a black man in the street with a white woman on his arm my first instinct is NOT to recoil, turn my head, roll my eyes or kiss my teeth. Like my girl, Darcel says, I’m NOT gonna “sista girl” you to death. It’s not my place to judge you and your relationship but I find that it’s usually the white woman who has an issue with ME when we pass. She may reach for his hand or grip up his arm as if to let me know he’s with HER and SHE may stare ME down thinking I may have something to say about being with a brotha. Chick, PLEASE. If he’s with YOU then clearly he’s not interested in ME. Same could be said for ANY race. As a black woman I get those looks from asian, white and even indian women. Get over yourselves. NO ONE wants your man and NO ONE is going to look at you sideways for dating someone who doesn’t have the same skin colour as you. Especially not I.

To be somewhat fair, I’ll say that I understand SOME white women (especially, white women) experience some foul treatment from SOME black women and so they are immediately on the defensive. I get that but to that I always say this: if you are confident in your relationship and you know what you and your man have is based on real and genuine love and not some stereotypical phase then DO YOU and don’t even THINK to play into what people may have to feel or say about it. And more often than not, the mature, classy women are the ones that “get it”.

I find the aforementioned females that grip their man’s hand or stare me down are what I call “she think she hood” chicks. These are white girls (not to be confused with women) that think they’re hood (or “ghetto”) if you will. They basically take every negative or stupid stereotype about black people and perpetuate it to the 1000th degree. They adopt all the style, slang and movements of a black person that’s emulated on BET and go even farther with it. They even attach black girl weave to their silky blond hair! Now, let’s stop there for a moment. I KNOW white women wear extensions to make their hair appear fuller and longer … yes, yes I know this. I’m NOT ignorant but I’m talking about the weave that is worn to emulate BLACK HOOD CHICKS. Do we need a picture? You know the ones I’m talking about. ANYHOW … they’re the ones that ONLY like black men due to whatever reason: the big dick rumours, the Mandingo / best lover stereotype, the swagger, etc etc. They usually talk with a “ghetto” arrogance and maybe even have a horribly fake West Indian accent. One would think this is how YOUNG girls act but I know quite a few females my age that have this same attitude towards black men. Shame on them. Shame on YOU.

I don’t like seeing that. THAT is what bothers me. I don’t like seeing trophy chicks of ANY race on the arm of a black man. I just want people to love who they are. Love who they are with and stop dating someone based on a blatant lie you were told. NOT all black men have huge dicks. TRUST ME. Obviously, I haven’t seen all black penises but it only takes seeing ONE black man with a tinky winky to disapprove this stereotype.

I ALSO hate the people that say they ONLY date a certain race. How are you SO close minded and wack? How can you think an entire race is better than another for you to ONLY date them? This goes WELL beyond having a preference as well – so save that bull.

EVERYTHING I’ve said can be attributed to any race … black women dating white men and etc. We can go on and on about black women being “white washed” and dating a white man but I can’t sit here and talk about an experience I’ve never had. I see it but I’ve never had a black girl look at me when she was with her white man. I just haven’t.

I went out with and dated a white guy a couple times and I had white women literally shoot me daggers when I was with him in public. Sometimes I even feel like white guys love to date and fuck us black women but they wouldn’t marry us or bring us home to the folks. This may seem like a harsh thing to say but this is what I feel. My feelings are not facts nor do I pass them off as facts so please don’t argue with me about how I feel. I know not ALL white men feel this way as my step-father is a white man and he married my mother and his family accepted her and myself with OPEN arms.

The purpose of me writing this blog is to educate people on how their behaviours are viewed by others on the outside looking in. I often wonder if people even REALIZE they are doing half the shit they do. I want to believe they do but maybe its easier to believe they don’t.

If it’s too much to ask for someone to be themselves and date outside their race without thinking they need to become another race to be “down” then so be it. I’m not going to stop feeling disgusted at seeing “she think she hood” chicks with a guy when I know her ass grew up on Mississauga Road or in Cambridge. FOH.

LOVE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE, HOW THEY TREAT YOU AND HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL. STOP “LOVING” THEM FOR THE STATUS OR “SWAGGER” YOU BELIEVE THEY HAVE.

And for the record, black men aren’t all you women have them cracked up to be. They aren’t any more special than any other race. Judge a man for what he is about and not the colour of his skin. Idiots. You’re the same ones complaining about not being able to find a good man but your track record states you aren’t dating anyone but hustlers and guys that think a 9 to 5 is below  them. Oh, and sometimes they beat and cheat on you on the regular, too. LOL.

True love IS indeed colour blind. Wake up.

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