YOU Display Your Own Truths

2 February 2010 at 7:33 pm (#Kanyeshrug, Life, Rants, WTF!?) (, , , , , , , , , )

I had a great conversation on BBM earlier with a gentleman that shall remain nameless. It caused me to snap on Twitter about ten minutes ago lol … Reason being: he is the true epitome of REAL. I’ve known him a long time and we’re pretty close and never once have I seen him act different around other people, online or around me. He’s just always the same guy. I rate that. Then, on a daily basis, I enounter guys that act completely different on so many levels its extremely hard to know who they REALLY are. I don’t understand this phenomenon but I find it completely fascinating. Why does ANYONE have to create a separate entity from themselves in order to be liked, accepted or “cool”? Especially once we leave highschool? Get over it, grow up and be yourself. WHY is that so hard for some people? Especially people that claim to be so grown? Is that what “swag” is about? LOL!  My issue with the opposite sex (and I’m not saying women don’t do this too but I like men so I have to speak from THAT angle) is that MANY males aren’t comfortable enough in their skin, to be the same in one facet of their life as in others. This shit just doesn’t apply to females anymore. Truth be told, it ALWAYS applied to the guys as well. But …. I digress.

For instance, take our jobs. That’s probably the ONE acceptable place where we have to be a little more reserved and different from our everyday selves. That makes sense but … when we are hanging out I don’t expect you to be all corporate UNLESS thats who you REALLY are. I don’t want to know you as a gentleman that respects women and is a romantic but see you tweeting about how you are against love and are “ready to blow any bitches back out” the next time you get laid. These conflicting personas are annoying, confusing and a joke. WHO ARE YOU!? Are you the gentleman or are you the hoe? Two extremes cannot be living within the same body. I’m sorry.

You can talk ABOUT something … without BEING that something. Let me clarify and use myself as an example: On Twitter I constantly talk about “diddling” (my term for masturbation – lol) and porn. I’m very blunt about sex.  I enjoy sex talk. I make no apologies for this. Some people would take those tweets and just assume I’m sexual. They’re right. People that know me offline know I’m the same way. I’m a very sexual person that is not ashamed to talk about sex. I’m just as candid online as I am off. Does this make me real? In that ONE area, most definitely. This is NOT to say though, that I’m sexually promiscuous. Talking about it is very different from BEING about it. Does the fact that I talk bluntly about sex but am not promiscuous make me fake? Not at all. I’ll accept it MAY make me a tease but I’m not fake because when I DO have sex – I’m not a prude. However, in SOME ppl’s minds I’ve been told that because I’m open to TALKING about sex then this MUST mean I’m a hoe. LOL. To them I say, ask the few guys I chill with on a regular basis if that’s true. I have many male friends I haven’t slept with and wouldn’t sleep with. Anyway, moving on ….

I admit, if I’ve read something you have said or listened to words that have come out of your mouth towards another, I may think something about you. WE ALL MAKE PERCEPTIONS ABOUT OTHERS. And if I don’t know you WELL, then those perceptions will probably be incorrect. I can’t help that but when you show me one thing and you show others another – whats really good with that? I don’t know who you are. It’s not my job to figure that out. You show people who you are and its up for them to accept you. Good and bad. Flawed and without flaws. And if people can’t accept you for who you are then are they people you really want around you? I’d think not.

With all that said, it’s not to say that you have to be the same with me as you are with others. Again, let me clarify:  if we are in a relationship, chances are you will be loving and affectionate with me as I’m your woman but that doesn’t mean you have to be loving and affectionate with ALL the women you know. I’m talking specifically about the two extremes of a wide spectrum. I hope that made sense. I’m talking about the guys that may be super smart and savvy in the ways of what’s considered “uncool”. For example, science, reading, education, etc. yet put on a front because since when is being into higher learning considered “swagtastic”? I’ve seen some people on Twitter talk about how they think love is for suckers and would never “wife any bitch cuz no bitch can hold them down” and then try to approach me on some romantic shit! You don’t think I see all? You don’t think I know I’m being gamed? Come on, son!  The few times I cared enough to call someone out on that shit they always say the same thing: “But that was then, this is now“. Sure people change but there is a clear difference in changing & maturing & growing up and changing & gaming a female for convenience.

PLEASE just learn to be yourself. At ALL times. You never know who’s watching. When the time comes to where you DO want to change and mature and grow up – all those games, roles and identities you played will come back to bite you in the ass. Be conscious and aware of how people perceive you and how you want to be perceived. If you are OK with being perceived as an asshole, nerd, hoe, loverboy, smartass then OWN it. Don’t be ashamed.  If you aren’t OK with those perceptions then BE CONSCIOUS! If you don’t care  about that right now, then more power to you but I can assure you, one day you will care and thats the day you will kick yourself for not displaying your truths in a better light.



  1. Linda said,

    As always, well said Cori! Haha and I love your use of the word “swagtastic” lol ❤ greatest blogger ever. 🙂

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      thank you, Bella!

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