Dating In Toronto 25+

20 October 2009 at 10:26 pm (Life, Love & Relationships, Rants, Toronto Life) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


You’d think with the 25 and up crowd, dating in this city wouldn’t be an issue as far as what I’m about to say. One would think maturity would play a part. Sadly, that’s not the case.

It has been my personal experience, and the experiences of many friends, that dating in this city is NOT easy.

Dating PERIOD is never easy but in a city as small as Toronto, it makes it that much harder.

Case in point: Toronto, as far as population goes, is pretty “big”. You have all the neighbouring cities and ‘burbs surrounding it making it now the GTA (Greater Toronto Area for non-local readers) and you’d think this would widen and broaden the dating radius when in essence it actually makes it SMALLER. Ha.

Then, add into the mix social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and still Myspace at times, and you’ve narrowed your dating radius to about …. lets say the length of your street and/or size of your local mall. ARGH!

Chances are when you meet someone, he (or she) will know about 3-5 of your friends and about 5-10 of your acquaintances. GOOD OR BAD ones at that. This can work for you or greatly against you. I feel almost like, if you date a “who’s who” you will be ok. Dating within social circles tends to work out lovely for most but for the rest of us looking in there is always a shit talker or two willing to “break up a happy home”. This take on the dating scene is actually very high school angled but it’s really not far from the truth, at all.

This city is full of people who are trying to maintain some sort of socialite/celebrity status. Everyone has a title or label (whether they want it or not) and this can affect the regular ass 9-5 worker or, someone who doesn’t crave nor obsess over attention and the spotlight.

If you are a regular 9-5’er and you date someone who is in the “industry” (for lack of a better term, because I don’t even know if we HAVE one) or date someone who is FRIENDS with someone in the “industry” and they don’t approve of you, you are out. In seconds. I’ve seen it happen. First hand. More than once. Being in the 25+ crowd and being of sound mind and maturity I can say I don’t get involved in people’s relationships like that. Unless you are one of 4 very special girls, whom I call my sisters, I would never, ever, ever interfere in someone’s happiness or potential thereof. It’s not my place and I firmly believe if you are a shady person your karma will come full circle.

I had a good friend of mine tell me last night that because of the things I’ve aforementioned she’s been forced to keep her relationship on the complete DOWN LOW. She barely tells people she’s even in a relationship, she won’t discuss him with anyone nor will she update her status on Facebook. I can’t  say I blame her. Her reason? The fact people will talk and probably not have nice things to say about her or him. Even if it’s lies and rumours she is certain mouths will run; and all the way to the finish line at that. It’s almost like people don’t want to see other people happy. They can’t just let the chips fall where they may and let people learn about their partners for themselves.  No one should have to be forced to hide their relationship or stifle their happiness for fear of jealous and nosy retribution! However, this is just so.

It’s a shame that ADULTS have to resort to childlike behaviour and play “hush hush dont tell.” It’s not as simple as saying “forget the haters and naysayers” because if you really care about someone you almost HAVE to play like you are Jay Z and Beyonce. But who is REALLY a celebrity in this city? We ALL just want to be happy and happy with someone we can call our own. Why don’t the miserable people always trying to cause trouble just sit back and worry more about their life and why THEY are single and leave the people who want a shot at happiness alone?

People will say that they are only trying to protect their friends from being hurt and I get that. I would do the same for MY own friends but I’m referring more to the people who have no REAL care or interest invested in a couple and just choose, for the hell of it, to talk shit and plant the seeds of doubt. Leave people alone to figure out their own paths with each other. If you feel you REALLY are OK with being THAT person, then I hope you don’t believe in karma because just when you find that special someone to settle down with – someone will talk shit about YOU.

This girl, me right here, I choose to keep my guard up and my ears alert. This city is too small. Everyone knows everyone and in my experiences if you are friends with certain people or a certain crowd I actually steer clear of you because I KNOW how much gossip and shit talk happens within that circle. And again, as a reminder, these are ppl 25 and up. It’s a sad day. At this age you should be thinking about settling down and into a better tax bracket with a spouse, a house and children. Instead you are too busy worrying about who’s with who and what party is the hottest.

I wish the older and “grown” crowd of Toronto could just get their shit together. And at the same time, mind their own damn business.

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7 Comments

  1. Mz. Fenyx said,

    WHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Realest talks I’ve heard in a minute. Toronto is so incredibly small that the idea of 6 degrees of separation is more like 3 here. I am not yet in the 25+ bracket, but sometimes I meet someone who’s in that bracket and they behave as though they are still in JUNIOR HIGH. It’s sad to see that minding other people’s business has become an occupation in this beautiful city, but that’s one field of employment that has very little benefits. Why does it matter what OTHER people’s private lives that has nothing to do with you…concern your ass so much? Instead of trying to be in mix up, you should use your skills to further a career in criminal investigation. Solve some homicide cases and bring people to justice instead of going off at the lip like God installed a bloody Ferrari motor in your gum. SHUT UP. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Live and let live..bumba. Getting me heated, cause I understand what it means to have people FASSIN in your business when they have NOTHING to do with. Eat a dick. Choke on it. Whatever it takes to STFU and GTFOH.

    /snapping.

    But, please..we must do better for chirren. The ones coming up and seeing this mess will perpetuate it. Educate yourself…have fun…and enjoy life. Like Ms. Lanfrey said “when you find that special someone to settle down with – someone will talk shit about YOU.” Karma is a bitch on her period. Just wait your turn.

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      COOOOOOYAH deh pon the talks of solving crimes and ferrari motors set in place inside someone’s MOUTH!

      gosh. u snapped 😛

      but yes …. i agree with everything you said. people need to understand & realize their place in the world and their place is looking out for #1 … not #8, #16 and #20

  2. maplesyrup21 said,

    interesting

  3. Cdn Dreamer said,

    The joke is, this isn’t just for 25+ folk. It applies to all us under 25 too (above 18 lol). I’ve come to discover that there are people in my life who have never experienced an actual adult relationship, so they impose their views on what it should look like or play out on me. To that I say, fall back and just let me breathe K THANKS PRECIATE IT. Not to mention, folk act like they give a shit about your well-being when it’s not your well-being they give a shit about, it’s what they’re not receiving anymore in regards to you growing up and living life differently from them. It’s times like these I wish I could look at my mother and have us both shake our heads.

  4. Cdn Dreamer said,

    PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH. Oh and this applies to us under 25 too lol, even more so I think. People always got something to say.

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      lol thank you.

      and you’re right. it does but without meaning to sound like im talking down to the younger crowd, its kind of expected. we all go thru this kind of phase but you expect something like that from a younger aged/minded person and while its still not excusable its not a surprise either.

      however, when you are dealing with people that have long since graduated from Highschool and have more than likely had their share of a couple good or bad relationships, have real life adult responsibilities you’d THINK this behaviour would be non-existent. thats why its so pathetic to me ….

      older doesnt always mean mature or sensible.

  5. Dating In Toronto 25+ « Corprah Lanfrey said,

    […] from: Dating In Toronto 25+ « Corprah Lanfrey Posted in Friends and Datings | Tags: and-the, case, city-as-small, experiences, harder–, […]

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