Chivalry Isn’t Dead – I Promise You

16 August 2009 at 7:40 pm (Life, Love & Relationships, Thank You's) (, , , , )

It’s a shame that in 2009 a woman has to get EXCITED about things that men SHOULD do for a woman on a date but … that’s just how it is. What’s normal to most, or what some may consider a small thing, is different for the next person. For me, it’s the little things that truly count and matter. In an age where I’ve gotten used to mediocre (and at times bad) treatment it was SO refreshing to actually be treated well. Better than well, actually. I’m talking about a MAN that opened and closed his car door for me. Who paid for everything despite my offer, at the very least, to split the bill(s). Who was respectful of my personal space and didn’t invite himself to touch or kiss me unless I made it clear I was cool with that. And who was just a sweet and genuine individual.

The dating game is tough. It’s not easy to meet someone you click with and actually enjoy spending time with. Something about them may turn you off or cause you to feel uneasy but thankfully, I felt quite comfortable. Comfortable enough to snuggle into his chest at gory parts of the movie and to walk next to him and put my arm around his waist and his arm around my shoulders.  It’s something to be said for an individual to keep you laughing the entire night and not come across as a try hard, cheesy, a fake or phony.

I’ve never been the type to talk about how men are dogs or there are no good men left but I DID say that there was a severe lack of them and I couldn’t find any anywhere. I started to believe maybe I wasn’t cut out for a good dude. Then “he” came out of literally nowhere. A brief but interesting courtship started, where I want to point out, he never broached the subject of sex. Most guys I meet and talk to want to talk about sex by the 3rd conversation and they always want to know if  “im a freak or what” *rolls eyes*. THIS made me like him almost off the bat. After a short time, I think we both realized we were interested in each other so he “asked me out”. I haven’t REALLY dated since 2003 (*gasp* yes I know, I know!) and was a little apprehensive and excited all at the same time. Last night, we had planned to meet up for 8pm due to some plans he had during the day – I was cool with it being a “late date” but around 6:30 he called and said he was going to be a bit late. Now, usually, some women would get bent out of shape about this but not I. I was actually shocked. Never before had I had anyone think to be so considerate to call AHEAD of time to say “Sorry, babe, but I’m going to be late because ….” Usually I’m the one having to wonder where someone is after the time has come and gone … OR the guy will  text me, without ever confirming if it went through. So, as apologetic as he was, I didn’t mind in the least because more than anything it showed me he is a considerate person. A phone call goes a LONG way – trust me. It took him 30 seconds to a minute to let me know what was up. It was appreciated. Rather than be pessimistic and say how the night started off on a low point due to him being late, I flipped the script and thought positive by seeing his genuine consideration for me and my time.

Some people would think or say this is something small or what a man SHOULD do but thats not what I’m used to nor what a lot of the females I know are used to. This felt really good. He knew my time was precious and valuable so he didn’t discredit that by taking advantage. His likeability factor went WAY up. See? It’s the little things that count 🙂

I enjoyed his company immensely and he must’ve enjoyed mine because he was planning our 2nd and 3rd dates before the lights dimmed and the previews started – lol. And, of course, I said “yes” … I’m feeling so happy today.

All you ladies that want to pass on the “nice guy” … keep on doing it. I don’t want the guy thats so fucked up from his previous girlfriends and relationships that I have to pay for their bullshit. I want the guy you bitches decide to pass up to be with someone who punches you in your face everyday. I want the nice guy. The sweet guy. The guy that will be considerate and sincere and genuine. A guy that will worry if I’m cold, uncomfortable and if there’s anything he can do to change that.

Sometimes you have to withstand the bad to truly appreciate the good.

Thank you for showing me what’s good.



  1. Diva said,

    Good blog. I agree. Chilvary isnt dead. It never was, it’s just that good guys finish last. And they arent gay, married, taken or ugly!!

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      Thank you.
      And I agree. However, the older you get the more you realize whats important … I graduated from HS and left the mentality of the bad boy there. I’ve always preferred the nerdy, nice guys to the “too cool for school” bad boys. No thank you .. too many headaches!

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