Cryptic.

5 August 2009 at 10:46 am (Life, Random, WTF!?)


How do you come to a conclusion about something you don’t really want to know the answer to?

This past weekend I realized something, but I realized it because of something else. There was “unfinished business” laying deep inside me but that “unfinished business” was pushed to the surface with a revelation.

Now, I have NO idea if that revelation only awakened the unfinished business or if there are greater forces at work. In any case, what do I do now!? Do I say something and talk about it or do I wait and see if the greater forces reveal themselves?

My girl says I should wait and see. I should see if the unfinished business tapers off with time or if there is more to it.  It’s a fair solution to my situation but the problem with that is, I’m impatient. I don’t know HOW to wait. LOL.

Times like this I always get divided in half. One half of me literally ITCHES to know. My need to KNOW things always gets me in trouble and I end up regretting my actions – ALWAYS. However, the other half of me is very aware of this and tries to hold out as long as it can before it loses to Ms. I Just Gotta Know. One time, I actually waited 3 whole days but I gave in. I always give in. I guess it’s because I don’t know what the proper wait time is lmfao!

I think deep down my desired result isn’t going to happen the way I want it to, so why not get it off my chest? That’s what I tell myself, anyway. Most times I’m right but other times I’ve been wrong. Doing things different though, doesn’t always guarantee the desired result. The reason I don’t want to know the answer is because I’m not ready to hear it. If I hear a “yes” I won’t know how to react. If I hear a “no”, I still won’t know how to react. I haven’t really gotten that far in terms of decisions with what to do for either answer. So I suppose that’s the upside to waiting. I can think things through properly and come to conclusion on my own BUT the downside to this is it’d be nice to have the input of the other party and we work it out together.

Oy vey! This confused curiousity on what to do is literally burning me up inside! Usually I know WHAT to do or what’s the best course of action and I just do the opposite (lol) but for once I don’t. I truly don’t know. And it sucks.

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