Cancelling Caribana: The Right Thing To Do?

13 July 2009 at 1:24 pm (Beauty, Health & Fitness, Local Events, Oh You So Nasty!, Toronto Life) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


I have no idea if this is actually being considered but I’ve heard the rumours that this may be happening. I want to talk about it 😉 Why? Because I have some shit to say of course – lol. Pls note: I live in a neighbouring city unaffected by this strike so if my “facts” or points are wrong, I welcome all corrections.

Short background for my readers that don’t live in the GTA: The City of Toronto is suffering amidst a municipal strike. The reason it may affect Caribana is because city workers are on strike. Most notably, in this case, garbage clean up is at a standstill. Right now, some the city’s parks are temporary landfills and the shit is about to hit the fan – literally.

Let’s examine why and why not it would be a good idea to cancel this year’s parade:

First and foremost, sluts everywhere will recoil at the realization that their weekend to justify and excuse their affinity for whoredom will not be taking place this year. Dudes having a hard time getting pussy in Toronto will be happy they’ll be saving some time and money this year, seeing as how they won’t have to make their way to Buffalo or Detroit, to rent a car or truck to pretend they are American in hopes of lining up some ass for the night. Liars will breathe a collective sigh of relief knowing they won’t be asked to show their license to prove they really ARE from New York. Nail and hair salons will see what I assume will be a significant drop in their numbers because a lot of females won’t need their “hair and nails did” *snaps bubble gum and pats the weave*.  Yonge St. will actually be close to, if not, empty and motorists and pedestrians alike won’t have to worry about feet being run over. Motorists will be happy that seeing some ass in tightus pum pum shawts won’t distract them. No one likes rear ending a completely over-pimped out shiny white Cadillac Escalade.

All the afforementioned situations and scenarios will make people sad (or happy, depending on how you look at it) that Caribana is cancelled this year. But will it be good for the City of Toronto financially? HELL NO. Caribana generates a STUPID amount of money for the city. Every time at this point in the year we see our tourism numbers spike. The past few events have been relatively safe (dating back to the “Year Of the Gun”) and violence free and most people are OK with feeling safe at Caribana again. I hope it stays like that – I really do. So, in that sense, it wouldn’t be the smartest idea in the world to cancel Caribana. That’s a LOT of money lost. However, from a visitors (or even a reveller living here’s) standpoint, why would you want to be here when the city smells like ass? If I lived abroad and was flying in or driving an obscene amount of hours and wasn’t aware of this strike and stepped off the plane or out my car into what smells like a sewer: I WOULD BE PISSED! I can’t see myself, no anyone else for that matter, actually ENJOYING themselves amongst that stench. I mean, our noses all get used to scents after we’re exposed for long periods of time, but I don’t need to be getting it in with a roti or jerk chicken dinner only to have the wind blow a wicked swirl of SHIT SMELL and ROTTEN GARBAGE into my nose. My stomach will lurch and I WILL vomit. OK?

I haven’t been to Toronto since the Gay Pride parade which was about 2 1/2 weeks ago. At that time the strike was only 2 weeks old so it wasn’t so bad downtown. Because our cities are generally pretty friggin clean in nature WITHOUT a strike, changes in how the city looks wouldn’t be immediate. It didn’t smell at all (to me, anyway) and the streets were still relatively clean. However, from friends that live down there, I’m hearing it’s pretty damn bad now. Speaking of Pride, people want to use the argument that “ohh, you want to cancel Caribana but the gays got their day!” SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH ALL THAT FUCKING WEAK ASS BULLSHIT TALKS. PLEASE. Grow up. And those same people wanting to use that argument want to also turn it into a racial one. Save it. Here’s why: Caribana brings in more money than Pride. Significantly more. Now, as far as the city and its officials are concerned, the only colour they are wanting to see at the end of July is GREEN. The city is NOT going to pass up all that money to stop the blacks from getting their “jump up on”.  I believe if Caribana does indeed get cancelled, the strike is a valid reason as to why. Besides, don’t be stupid. The gay, lesbian and transgendered community is JUST as, if not more – in some cases, discriminated against the same way blacks are. Also, remember that I stated the strike, at the time of Pride, was only approximately 2 weeks old, therefore the garbage pile up wasn’t in such a dire state. By the time Caribana happens, the strike will be (I, believe) over 8 weeks old. PLUS, the organizers of Pride set money aside in case the strike wasn’t cleared up, to have the garbage properly cleaned and disposed of.  If the organizers of Caribana want to do the same, I can’t see the city stopping them. But I don’t see them doing that. Have y’all BEEN downtown and seen the aftermath of the Caribana parade? They’re gonna have to put up a lot of dinero to get that shit spotless – lol. But again, even if they did front the money for the clean up AFTER the parade, what about all the garbage piled up for almost 8 weeks BEFORE and DURING the parade?People will NOT be able to enjoy themselves. By July 31/Aug 1, the city will STAAAAAAANK!

Basically, if it’s cancelled, sure I’ll be disappointed but it won’t be the end of the world. I mean, it’s an annual event people. If they were cancelling it FORVER, I  could see the argument but a city without Caribana for one summer will NOT kill us – though, who knows what long term exposure to rotten garbage will do! Feel me on this, people!? Besides, I’m sure all the clubs will still have their parties and events and being inside won’t be nearly as bad as being outside on the parade route. And if that’s the case, the sluts will still be able to have their day. Or night. 😉

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20 Comments

  1. KM said,

    HILARIOUS!!!! Do it the American way… make the prisoners clean up the trash lol j/k

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      LMFAO. That’s a good idea but the gov’t isn’t smart enough to think of something like that 😉

  2. Tai said,

    I have never been to Caribana, so this doesn’t affect me in any way, shape or form. IF it is cancelled, then yes there will be a great loss of money for our community, but like you said cancelling one carnival won’t hurt. People can throw bbq’s, have a house jam that day and again like you said, pay how much for a club ticket event & have a good time there OR perhaps go to wild water kingdom and see girls naked or men, what have you. Other than that, I hope the city of toronto comes to an agreement and things are settled. good day!

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      agreed. to be honest, if the parade is cancelled im having a BBQ. straight up.

      • Tai said,

        im so down for that.

      • Corprah Lanfrey said,

        you better be 🙂

  3. Zach said,

    I can see it getting cancelled too… someone is gonna catch a mean case of bird flu, swine flu, sars, aids, herpes all that garbage in the city is unsanitary as all hell lol… and its gonna be air born womp womp… unless they can find money to clean it up b4 the parade I really don’t see it happening… and if it does its gonna be the worst smelling thing on earth LOL…. maybe this year people can just wear hospital masks and paint their flag on it =-) its Bana 09 don’t forget your gas mask MUAHAHA

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      LMFAO @ painting the flag on a hospital mask. LOOOOOOOL! I’m actually laughing super hard right now, Zach!

  4. Zach said,

    LOL Cori I’m tellin you people are gonna need it…. It really will suck if the city needs to cancel it financially but with the condition the city is in there is no way they can have THAT many people running around littering with no where to put garbage. I really don’t see it happening and God knows I want it to happen so I can pretend I’m from Atlanta =-)

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      Your exactly right. From a health standpoint its completely unsanitary and LEGIT/VALID to cancel the parade because of the garbage strike. People aren’t seeming to understand that. All they want to do is talk about how its so unfair the Gay Pride parade happened and how much money Bana brings in but are people even thinking about the health aspect? Nope. Idiots.

      • Zach said,

        Yep, it is going to be really interesting to see how this goes,because once an annual event get cancelled it loses some of its credability for the next year. As much as people say cancelling it one year won’t affect it the next year, they’re wrong it will be a HUGE blow to the success of bana for years to come. The city is in a real catch 22 here… they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t.. stay tuned to see what happens *ques days of our life music*

      • Corprah Lanfrey said,

        very good point. and once again, I wholeheartedly agree. I’m not a HUGE Bana fan to begin with but I would like to see it maintain it’s stronghold only so that when J gets older she can experience it. Who knows, maybe it will be a good thing given that the real meaning of Caribana has been lost in booty shorts and babies on Yonge St. Maybe those types of ppl will be upset about the cancellation and allow the rest of us to bring back the days of old.

        *cues days of our lives music – but by Bone Thugs – lol*

      • Zach said,

        Ye I hear you. I hear you only will time will tell haha zute alore

      • Corprah Lanfrey said,

        Yes indeedy. I’m just glad I’m not the one that has to make that decision … I can just sit back and watch this unfold …… and write about it 🙂

        and stop with the zute alore LOL

  5. Corprah Lanfrey said,

    P.S. Let it be known to all that you are NOT from ATL 🙂

  6. Jcart said,

    Firstly let me say I live on the lakeshore and will usually leave the city for the Caribana weekend parade because I can’t stand the overcrowding, traffic, and insanely loud music (all day and night). I consider this only a small sacrifice considering Toronto is one of the best places to live in.

    A couple points I want to make:

    – Considering Toronto’s fiscal situation, and in general terms, the economy, do you really think the City of Toronto will even consider throwing away revenue generated by 1.3 million people? The answer if it was not obvious is no. The revenue earned from this festival substantial is quite substantial, and considering we are at a loss to pay for much needed improvements to the transit system and roads, among other public service. The only way the festival will ever get canceled is because of excessive violence, and we have seen our fair share from this festival in the past, yet the festival remains.

    – The garbage situation is bad in Toronto. Our public parks are abysmal, no argument there. However, to go as far as to say the city will be completely overrun by garbage smell is just wrong. This disinformation is hurtful to potential tourists in Toronto. I’ve had the opportunity to speak to several people visiting and they did not even notice there was a strike going on until they suggested we visit a nearby park ..erhm.. dump.

    – The GayPride organizers set a great example by setting aside funds for cleaning up afterwords. It should not be the responsibility of the City of Toronto to clean up after events held within the city. Although the city does receive great deal of revenue, so perhaps some of shared responsibility between the City and the event planners. To say the garbage generated from the attendees is not the responsibility of the event organizers just sounds ignorant.

    • Corprah Lanfrey said,

      Jcart: I appreciate your comments. However, I’m not sure what the deal is here. Are you speaking to ME and refuting parts of my write up or are you just offering your thoughts and opinions? Did you not read what I had to say or just skimmed it? Firstly, I actually stated the city wouldn’t cancel the parade for the same reasons you outlined but I played devils advocate as WELL. You have to see things from more than just one angle. Secondly, I stated in the beginning on this article that I didn’t live in Toronto and only have 2nd hand knowledge of just how bad the garbage situation really is. A quick background as to why I focused a bit on the garbage smell: I used to live in a townhouse complex and my bedroom window was JUST above the garbage compactor. In ONE weekend, during the summer, if the garbage was not properly put INTO and DOWN the tube I would smell that stench coming up and into my bedroom. Again, this is over one weekend. The garbage strike has been going on for over 35+ days. Outside my window it was just a few garbage bags; the Toronto parks are piled high. I can assure you the residents of Christie Pitts are NOT thinking I’m wrong. Maybe the Lakeshore isn’t overrun with garbage smell but the city is. Lastly, who stated anything about the garbage generated from the attendees not being the responsibility of the event organizers? Neither I, nor the others who commented on this piece said such a thing! Who is ignorant? You clearly have misunderstood a lot here. I simply said that for the people who are quick to make this a racial issue and say that the city allowed gay pride but not a Caribana (which we now know to not be the case, given it happened today) is stupid because to protect their butts, Gay Pride organizers put their own money away for clean up and while I couldn’t see the Caribana organizers doing that, I also couldn’t see the city stopping them if they did.

      Again, if you were just putting your opinions out there … go ‘head. But if you are trying to refute claims I didn’t make, then please re-read my piece before making such comments because I didn’t say nor imply a third of what you mentioned in your comment.

  7. PH Paper : said,

    event planners are really great people, they can do some great planning on a hectic schedule “

  8. Lewis Robinson said,

    it is always a good idea to get event planners when you want a good outcome for your planned event .”~

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