2008 MTV Video Music Awards

8 September 2008 at 9:10 pm (Celebrity, Entertainment, Music, Televison) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

My Recap:

First, can we talk about how the show looks like it was set in a highschool gym? The acoustics in there were awful. And, I swear I was watching a celebrity prom. The set up was wack and the stage was hideous. Ew. I guess the highschool gym thing works because the predominant theme throughout the show was promise rings, abstinence and chaste teens. Sheesh.

Britney opening the show was cute. MTV owed her for the klunderfuck last year. They exploited the hell out of her and had to make it up to her. I do believe, though, that allowing her to open up the show was enough. There was no need to rig the awards and hand her three. I mean, I love Brit, don’t get me wrong. I am happy to see her healthy and on her way to her old self but I just can’t believe she won video of the year. She was doped up on coke and whatever else during that entire video and she wins Video of the Year? Chris Brown’s face said it all. Oh, and did they sit her RIGHT in the front to make it easier for her? I mean, she didn’t have to be THAT close, did she? But she’s human and that was evident in her flubbing her lines. It’s good to see she’s nervous. It shows us she’s OK. I know that sounds weird, but trust me.

T-Pain and an elephant, huh? OK.

Russell Brand was amazing. I’ve been hearing that a lot of people seem to think he bombed. I actually feel the opposite. I thought he was GREAT! But then again, I’m a stickler for British humour. I love their dry and sarcastic sense of humour. His love for Lil Wayne and LL Cool J spoke volumes. His hair was a bit of a mess, no? He did a great job. His joke about cherry chapstick and his dick being numb was brilliant. How could you NOT like this guy!?

Rhianna opened the show, first performance. I found her OK. She looked great, sounded terrible. There was SO much going on during her performance, it’s a good thing she had on sky high boots. I would’ve lost her in amongst all the dancers. I’m still not quite sold on Disturbia. I don’t know if I like it or not. I’ll think about it some more. Maybe I’ll blog about it. Maybe I wont. I probably wont.

The Jonas Brothers took a huge blow from Russell all night (until Jordin Sparks defended them). Promise rings on their genitals. Funny. Their performance was even funnier. I only found out who they were a couple months ago despite them being the talk of the fucking universe. I can see why young girls like them. But they aren’t the shit to me. They are just shit. I’m sorry. And whichever Jonas Brother was holding the tambourine, try holding it the right way before you go on national television, dumbass. Looks only get you so far. Their voices annoy me. I want to hurt bunnies everytime I hear them sing. *humph*

Speaking of Jordin Sparks. LOVE HER. But she put her foot FAR back in her throat last night. I understand the need to defend all the chaste teens of the world but you need to understand, dearie, that less is more. The furor in which you exploded onto the stage, had even John Legend doing the “yikes” face. Your pro prudes statement came out all kinds of wrong in which you implied that if you ARE having sex you are a slut. Think things through a little better. And shrink some. Not in size but in height! Damn, girl! You made John Legend look like a midget.

Katy Perry is all kinds of cute. Travis McCoy is a lucky so and so.

Can I just tell you that I am madly in love with Travis Barker. Guys named Travis are so hot. Seeing him bang those drums turned me on in ways no one can understand. I love that he loves what he does. It’s sexy. Sexy. Sexy.

Pink had a Nipplegate 2008. But she was smart. She had tape to cover up the boo boo. It’s OK, though. She looked amazing. Sounded even better. And to think she performed with a broken rib. She apparently broke it in rehearsal the day before. I’m so glad she’s back. I adore Pink. Carey Hart eat your …………… heart out.

Lil Wayne. Was this the Lil Wayne show? How many times did we see him last night? I lost count after 4. He has GOT to be the happiest rapper alive. I want to hate him but I just can’t. Even though hes everywhere, even though he looks like his breath smells like shit. Even though he steals lyrics I just can’t hate him. He always looks like he has THE most fun. He just smiles his ugly, coked up smile and does his thing. I can understand his charisma. I don’t understand his sex symbol status. He’s no bigger than a minute. He’s so short. While on stage with Kid Rock, one quick glance, and I mistook him for Will.I.Am. Sheesh. His pants were so tight. Did anyone notice that, in the beginning of A Milli when he was coming down the stairs, his first cuss word completely freaked out the violinist in the orchestra? That was a classic moment. I’ve never laughed so hard.

Christina Aguilera is back. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. But why was she lip synching? I hope it’s because she was sick or something. Ms. Aguilera can BLOW. There’s NO reason for her to be lip synching. Her performance was not the business. I thought it was horrible. What was up with the cape? Why did they put it on? I half expected her to fly up and away at the end of her performance but nope. She just …. didn’t. She looks AMAZING though, doesn’t she? Completely lost all her pregnancy weight and looking better than ever. Kudos! I don’t know how I feel about the song, though. It’s gonna take some getting used to. I’ll add that to my Disturbia blog. Or …. maybe I wont.

Paris Hilton is a douche. Who faces the wrong way to read a teleprompter? Paris Hilton, that’s who.

My favourite part of the night was T.I. How I love that man so. As I said in a previous blog, I will hump T.I. so gotdamn hard. That man will feel like he has thumper attached to his genitals. I love him. I am a huge groupie fan. I will do anything to hump him. LOL. I’m sorry. I’m done. Anyway, I loved his two song performance. I like that he made Whatever You Like, like a video/movie. Creative and different. That slut bitch model he was walking with is lucky. But I literally hollered at the TV when he did “Live Your Life“. That track is amazing in my opinion. It goes hard. The bass? Goodness! I even like Rhianna’s yodelling ass on it. She looked amazing, by the way. He will bear my children. I will find a way. That skinny man is sexy bad bad bad.

Kanye. Kanye. Kanye. What was that? I didn’t like it. I’m all for creativity and originality but damn. I hear he’s going to perform a new joint and I sat through the entire show for THAT? Why!? I am mad about him taking time out of my life.

Overall, the show was dumb, boring and super unorganized. But it was good enough to get a 1200+ word count blog out of me. So, it was good for something.

‘Til next year.



  1. Dainty P said,

    I Actually couldn’t bare sitting though the show so i watched pieces and caught up on Youtube.
    Kanye Had Me Concerned about My Taste in Hip Hop For a moment there =S
    I dont think they should of built up so much Hype around this new record of his…it was all over his website for weeks that this was going to be seen/heard the first time on the VMAs…*insert screeching breaks sound here*

    Other than me being DEEPLY jealous of Katy Perry (not for kissing a girl but rather who shes kissing on the reg =(*sniff*….)

    I Heard that T.I. and Chris Brown nearly got into a fight during rehearsals because he was fooling around and distracting “his non-girlfriend” and T.I. came at him LMAOOOOOO i would sooo pay!

    Anywho Good Review! Now Back To Barbra in the Studio

  2. Corprah Lanfrey said,

    ahahahah. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
    So Chris Brown wants to fight with TI huh? hmmm.

    well that would explain TI’s desperate looking reach out to hug Rhianna at the end .. i thought he did it a lil too quick … haha … how juvenile.

  3. valvet said,

    Greets! Really interesting. keep working! Tnx!

  4. babel said,

    Greets! Really funny. keep working! Tnx!

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