Phone Calls. I’m Afraid Of the Phone.

LOL. The title makes me laugh. Kind of. It’s a little sad, really.

It all started with email and instant messaging. Then texting and now Blackberry Messenger. If you hear my voice, chances are you’re my mom or my dad, or you’re listening to my voicemail.

I just don’t sit on the phone like that. I don’t even really talk to my best friends like that. I only talk to my mom because thats MY MOM. If she wasn’t my mom I’d be texting her non stop all day, too. And, as a matter of fact, I do that. LOL. We email and text each other throughout the day while we’re at work and then I almost don’t want to talk to her in the evening. I’m a bad daughter, I know.

I think I know where and when it started and how. I used to dread the phone because when I was younger and working 8-11 hour shifts in various call centers and arguing on the phone all day, the last thing I wanted to do was talk on one. Even my boyfriend at the time knew not to call me depending on the day I’d had. This came in handy though because he worked WITH me so it was a mutual understanding. Anyhow, I’m not REALLY afraid of the phone but I do hide from it. I often hit “ignore” or let it ring out and allow my voicemail to pick it up. I really only answer it if it’s a particular person and other than my brother and parents, that particular person(s) can vary and change DAILY. SMH.

Most people who know me know that I am easily and readily reachable by text msg or BBM (or email since all my emails go straight through to my blackberry). PDA’s are awesome but I feel like I’ve become completely disconnected. I don’t TALK to people, anymore. Not in the sense that really matters, you know? I don’t converse. I just … type. And unless you know me well … a lot of my sarcasm and jokes get lost in translation. I’ve come to realize I’m quicker and wittiest via words and text than in person. I’m not altogether sure how that works, given that all ideas and words still come from my head but come to my fingers quicker than out of my mouth. Odd.

I find that when  I start dating someone or liking someone, I’m likely to forgo the texting and actually TALK to them on the phone. Part of getting to know someone is to TALK to them, right? LOL .. obviously. However, interestingly enough, the last guy I dated actually found fault in the fact that I barely called him. I can count on one hand how many times I called him (and not because I was returning his call either). We dated quite casually for about 3 months. I called less than five times. Boo. He was like, “you never call me. do you even like me? you can call me too, you know” … I felt bad. I felt bad because I DID like him; I was interested but it never occurred to me to pick up the phone and call. Maybe I was being daft or …. just dumb? Who knows. The fact that we spoke mostly through BBM and this was our preferred method of communication, I believe, had something to do with that but now I’ve become so … wrapped up in technology that I don’t know how to go about speaking with someone I’ve just met. Or would like to get to know on a more intimate level. Hmm.

We’ve all become so busy with our lives this day in age and its like, shooting a text or email to someone is more convenient – because, after all, if you are calling someone like me who loves to ignore calls, they could actually be busy and there goes the conversation. I feel almost like I’m bothering people sometimes. And this is a funny way to feel because I don’t call people, really. Ever. I just hate interrupting others, because I hate being interrupted myself. And of course it’s no one’s fault or anything … Ms Cleo doesn’t live here. I dont know the future, I can’t read minds and sure as hell dont want to call no one now(ah).

Basically, there is someone right now that I’d like to get to know and wouldnt mind talking to … on the phone (ahh, i know, I know) but for the LIFE of me, I just can’t (or wont, or dont) pick up the phone. I’ve told him I dont want to bother him and he assured me I wouldn’t be but then I’m like … if he wasn’t so busy and had time to call me – why doesn’t HE call? So then I think, yea he doesnt call which means he has no time which in TURN means he’s too busy to take MY calls when I finally get up the nerve to ring him.

Oh what a tangled web I weave for myself. WTF!?

I don’t know why I’ve let technology get the best of me. I think I need to get back to the world. TO THE WORLD. But I would be lying to myself and to you if I said I could live without my phone. I’ve been cut off, I tried cutting myself off and I’ve had my phone taken away (BAD GIRL – dont ask) but I always come back … ALWAYS. I can’t NOT have a cell phone/PDA/love device. I love it too much.

Coping with this phone call thing is crazy. Intervention? Do we need one? I can’t be the only guilty party here! HELP ME!

So This Week … (A Rant)

I need to talk about a couple things that happened in the news this week. Entertainment and otherwise. I’ve been on forums, blogs and the like to see some disturbing fuckery that has brought me here to vent.

First up, the shootings in Fort Hood, Texas on November 5, came as a shock to many. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims and wounded. It’s SO sad and tragic to know that these soldiers died at the Readiness Center. The last stop they go before being deployed to warzones in Iraq or Afghanistan. These men and women faced gunfire and a war (on a smaller scale, of course) on American soil. At home. Who would have thought, huh? Upon hearing about this at 10pm (and the story broke I believe after 1pm earlier that day) I went to the site I frequent most for forum discussion and realized not a ONE thread was made about this. That was interesting to me as the board is predominantly American. Anyhow, I brought it to the board’s attention and initially the comments were those of prayers to be sent and condolences to be left. Then the board’s resident “shock poster” tried to come in there with his usual ignorant antics and profess his distaste for Muslims and Islam. He basically said “Well, what do you know he was Muslim” … No. Actually, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan was American. He (the shock poster) basically used Hasan’s background (of Jordanian descent) to try and say these ideals were that of a Muslim terrorist and further went on to say Islam is NOT a religion that preaches tolerance, love and peace but rather, preaches hate and the downfall of Americans. It’s just like a self centered American to think a religion is based on THEIR downfall. LMFAO. I was SO SO SO very offended by his comments. I’m not Muslim but to read the shit he said, you wouldn’t have to be to get angered at his idiocy! I’ve studied world religions and I know quite a few Muslim people and I was so upset to hear these views spewing forth from his fingertips. He truly believes the Islamic faith is about hate and violence and war. How ignorant he is. He said Muslims are lying to us and SAYING they are about peace and love but they aren’t. This fucking DOUCHEBAG has his head so far up his own ass that he doesn’t seem to GET that extremists are the reason Islam and Muslims have such a bad reputation. EXTREMISTS! They have taken the fundamentals of Islam and have twisted and manipulated them to justify their sick views and hatred of the western world. THESE EXTREMISTS ARE NOT INDICATIVE OF ALL MUSLIMS. Please know this. ARGH! But then I realized this is someone who heavily detests Barack Obama and supports George Bush and loves Rush Limbaugh. Once you realize who and what you are dealing with, an argument becomes moot and irrelevant. But for all the jackasses out there – educate yourself. Talk to the source and make your own mind up. Do not regurgitate the bullshit the media shoves in your face. Please! At a time when we should be banding together to pray for those lost in this tragedy, people want to show their true racist colours and point fingers. What a SHAME. You should be ashamed.

Another thing to be ashamed of: The entire Rihanna and Chris Brown situation. GET THE FUCK OVER IT, PEOPLE! This happened 9 months ago. Sure everyone wants to hear Rihanna’s side of things and speak about it but the most OBVIOUS thing was missed. Her timing. Everyone I’ve talked to is aware of this but they don’t seem to care! WHY!? You are reacting the way her PR team wants you to. How dare she, after 9 months, finally break her silence and speak about such a serious topic JUST to bring attention to her new album. No one is denying that what happened to you at the hands of Chris Brown wasnt terrible, Ri Ri. You most definitely suffered and I wouldn’t wish what you went through on my worst enemy BUT at the same time, as you said in the interview, you realized how much of an influence you had on these young girls. If you were SO concerned about being such a positive role model why did you wait SO long to speak? And, when you DID speak why did you sound so coached? Speak from your heart. Not from a script. You are helping NO ONE – least of all yourself. At first, I saw only ONE clip and I still believe you were being sincere, albeit careful about the words you chose, but sincere nonetheless …. then I hear from literally everyone that you should’ve kept your silence because you sounded extremely coached. I have yet to watch the interview in its entirety so I can’t really speak on whether or not I found you were coached but if EVERYONE is saying so, then there must be some truth to the accusation. I don’t even really CARE to watch it, to be honest. I just feel I should so that I don’t sound so biased and believe heresy. My problem though is that Chris Brown did his time – some will argue he didn’t get the proper punishment, and that may be so but regardless, he was sentenced to do those hours and he did them. Rihanna didn’t die. She healed physically and SEEMS to be healing emotionally. BOTH HAVE MOVED ON AND ARE MOVING ON. So why can’t y’all? I understand these are celebs and their lives becomes ours in a way but the older you get the more you should realize that these people literally have NOTHING to do with you. Don’t give me that shit about being a fan and you put money in their pocket so you have the right to be in their business. I’ve long maintained, celebs are just rich and famous humans like you and I. And with the age of the mp3 and downloading, most of you don’t put no damn money in their pocket. Be real. You are NOSY. That’s it. That’s all. GET OVER IT. The bigger issue one should be arguing is not that of Rihanna vs Chris but of domestic violence as a WHOLE and how women and men need to keep their hands to themselves. Not saying Rihanna deserved it (I would never say that) but we don’t know the entire story and the media has spun it this way for a REASON. Ri Ri all but admitted how bad she and Chris were FOR EACH OTHER. Not to say that if she hit him first or provoked him, he had a right to go off on her THAT bad but for men and women out there … I was raised like this: If a man puts his hands on you, you fight back and you defend yourself tooth and nail but if YOU hit a man first, expect him to hit you back – period. A good man probably won’t. He’ll probably walk away before it gets to that but NOT EVERY MAN WILL WALK AWAY and you HAVE to know this. You have to know that if you push a man, he just may push you back and KNOWING this, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. No one has the right to hit anyone. There is no justification. Period. Just live YOUR life (no pn intended – holla Rihanna lol) and stop worrying about everyone elses. You look media illiterate and groupie-ish.

Cori Elle Site Launch !!!

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and I asked him for his website link to add him to my HYPE roll and through his link I was brought to this amazing site. Wix is a free website used for everyday people like you and I to build their own flash website. I immediately got an idea and decided I wanted to build mine.  I had no idea if I’d be able to do it but I figured I’m never one to back down for a challenge. I started it around 8:30pm and finished it at like 3 in the morning lol .. But I’m really happy and pleased with the end result. It’s not perfect, it’s not professional but it’s MINE and it was built without a template and from scratch. It was a last minute little labour of love and I’m quite proud of myself. I now independently operate (and will eventually own) a website and two blogs (one personal and intimate and the link is on the new website) and the other is the one you are reading right now. Please take the time to check it out and leave all feedback. It’s always appreciated! Click the link or picture below:

Cori Elle Website

Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave.

Imagine if I knew you liked me but you believed I liked you and when we talked about who likes who it turns out she likes you, too?

Stir Crazy …

What’s that condition when you’re stuck in the house for too long and you start to feel like you are going to turn bat shit crazy? I say stir crazy but I’m thinking of something else. It’s right on the tip of my tongue but …. I can’t figure it out for the life of me.

What did I do today? Absolutely nothing …

The lil one is sick with the flu so we’re stuck in the house ((( OH MY GOSH .. IT JUST HIT ME .. THE TERM IM LOOKING FOR IS CABIN FEVER ))) and between Family Channel, Disney movies, naps and countless snacks and the internet nothing has helped to cure this boredom. I just feel so …. sluggish. I’ve done laundry and cleaned my bathroom. I don’t want to cook more dinner when I still have enough curry chicken left over … if I cook more food something will go to waste and I’m not big on wasting meals.

I went to bed just after 2am this morning because I got it in my head that music auto-playing on the blog would be a good look. With WordPress not supporting flash I had to get creative on how I did it. The coding was all fucked up but eventually I got it working. WOO SAH!

I spoke to my boy briefly today. I told him he’s the worst because we start a thousand and one conversations but never actually finish them, so he called me up and we were on our way … then, about 20 minutes later, his line beeped and he had to call me back. BAH! He did it again! He’s the worst, I promise you.

An MSN smiley JUST appeared in the damn window where I’m typing. How fucked up is that?

I went IN on the trending topics on twitter a couple hours ago. #ShesNotThatIntoYou and I were friends for about an hour or so. Some were situations I experienced personally and others were from my twisted mind and some were just common sense. My personal favourite that garnered the most responses:

Technically if a chick does that its not so much that shes not into you but that shes a dirty whore that is out to COMPLETELY disrespect you.

What else?

OH! I have an interview tomorrow morning and it sounds promising. I’m glad I didn’t take the other offer. I mean, yes I need a job but the cons to taking it were outweighing the pros and I know more opportunities will come my way; I just need to remain positive and patient. I interview extremely well and I’m strong. I nail every one I get and very rarely am I NOT offered the position. I just need to keep my wits about me and choose the best fit. It’s a career I’m looking for now. I didn’t work my ass off in school to graduate and then settle.  Wish me luck.

Random closing: Do you look behind you and / or around you before you pick out your wedgie? I ALWAYS do. And I do that bow-legged walk to get it out if I’m walking down a heavily trafficked street. I kinda care what motorists think about me digging underwear out of my ass. Is that bad? Should I give a damn at all? Oh well.

Mary J. Blige – I Can See In Color

Mary J. Blige has released a single slated to be featured on the soundtrack for the movie Precious (which I’m anxiously awaiting) and its SO powerful. Lyrically strong and deeply moving, this song truly captures the essence of the many different themes and emotions of the story.  I love me some MJB!

Listen & Download Here.

PREACH!

Speak to me, Tweet. Lord knows I feel YOU!

No More Hand Helds: ITS THE LAW!

I’m extremely happy this law has finally come to pass! I’m SOOOO very against texting, calling and whatever else while driving. While this is a step in the right direction, it doesn’t eradicate the ENTIRE problem. Sure, being occupied by dialing and texting is a major issue contributing to accidents … but what about being distracted PERIOD? It’s not just the fact that you’re taking your eyes off the road, its also the fact that your judgement and perception is skewed because your attention is with whomever you are speaking to on the phone.

It’s important to understand that not all of us are people that can do two things at once. Many people cant even chew gum and walk nevermind operate a vehicle and talk on the phone.

I just hope people take this law seriously and understand the consequences. It shouldn’t take a fender bender, or worse a DEATH for someone to realize how dangerous this is. You could be the safest driver in the world but if someone ELSE isn’t paying attention you could lose your life or the life of someone you love.

PLEASE drive responsibly and don’t take this issue lightly.

An Ontario law came into effect Monday making it illegal for drivers to use hand-held cellphones, BlackBerrys and other electronic devices while behind the wheel.

Drivers are forbidden to use hand-held devices to talk, text or email while behind the wheel, or to use portable video games or DVD players.

The only exception to the ban is a 911 call.

“This law is about keeping your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel,” Transportation Minister Jim Bradley said at a news conference in Toronto Monday. “We need to prevent these unnecessary road accidents and I believe this law will do just that.”

Hands-free cellphones remain legal, and global positioning systems are allowed if they’re secured to the dashboard.

The Ministry of Transport said the ban is needed because driver distraction is a factor in 20 per cent of all road accidents. Bradley said one U.S. study found texting boosted the risk of a collision 23 times.

Starting Feb. 1, drivers could face fines of up to $500 if they’re caught violating the ban. There are no demerit points attached to the law.

‘Positive step forward’

Toronto police Insp. Gary Meisner, speaking on behalf of Ontario Association of Chiefs of Police, said Monday that police are looking forward to the legislation, which he described as “a positive step forward and an important one for improving public safety.”

Police will be warning motorists for the first three months to stay off the phone instead of handing out tickets. But drivers can still be charged under existing dangerous or careless driving laws, which have fines of up to $1,000, six demerit points, a driver’s licence suspension and possible jail time.

A survey released in September showed that about 92 per cent of Ontario drivers intended to obey the law.

Newfoundland and Labrador became the first province to ban the use of hand-held cellphones in 2003, while Quebec and Nova Scotia both moved earlier this year to stop drivers from using hand-held cellphones. Similar legislation has also been introduced in British Columbia.

Saskatchewan and Alberta have also announced their intentions to table similar legislation this fall.

More than 50 countries and jurisdictions around the world have banned cellphone use while driving.

Source

Tell It!

“A man who actually cares would rather see your morning face than your club face.” © Erin Lowers

Should I Really Be Casually Dating At My Age?

In the past 24 hours, I’ve been asked by five different men why I’m single. They can’t fathom it. This is funny to me.

So anyway, the reason is because I choose to be. My reasons are also somewhat personal and are something I may choose to deal with in the near future but for right now I enjoy being single and while, admittedly, it gets lonely sometimes, I’m not dying to be with anyone. Also, the guys I meet just aren’t serious about life and I have no time to be anyone’s cheerleader or babysitter. Anyway, this guy asked me why I was single and I explained this to him along with the fact that at my age, I’m not trying to casual date anymore. I’ve been there and done that. I will try to explain this as best as I can without confusing you.

While I don’t want to settle down right NOW into a marriage, I also don’t want to be dating every Tom, Dick and Harry about town. Of course, I DO realize that I will need to date in order to find the man I marry, however,  there is a difference with dating for the sake of dating or dating people to see how compatible you are and if there could be potential for long term love. I prefer to do the latter and because of that I don’t date often.

Basically, how I feel about relationships and men right now is as follows: the next relationship I get into will be with the man I plan to marry. I tell this to some guys and they start wigging out and trippin. I laugh because #1 you trippin’ insinuates you believe that you have a SHOT with me and that couldn’t be farther than the truth and #2 a relationship comes before a marriage and in order for me to get into a relationship with you I’d have to date you for QUITE some time to know you are someone I want to be committed to.

So rest assured guys, don’t flatter yourself into thinking I want to marry you and am jumping the gun. There is a process to dating … and a method to my madness. The problem most guys have, I find, is that they dont take the time to understand and see where a woman is coming from and they hear things like “relationship” and “marriage” and think the woman is wanting that RIGHT AWAY! Sure, some might, but I’m not every woman. At least  give me a chance to explain myself – lol! I don’t want to get married until I’m in my early to mid 30’s but I would also like to have a solid and well bonded relationship with my man before then so getting into a relationship in the next couple of years is ideal. I don’t want to meet someone and be married a year later. Most stories like that end up in divorce. Marriage is forever to me and I want something solid and strong. What is so wrong with that?

At least I’m a female that knows what she wants and stands firm in her beliefs. I don’t waffle with situations and move back and forth like a confused child. I have goals and a vision for my future and I’ll do all I can to achieve that goal. You’d think that would be a turn on to a man but ….

I feel at my age, I’ve done all the casual dating I can do and I’m ready for something more meaningful and better suited to what I want out of a partner. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. Isn’t it natural that once you reach a certain age you start thinking about settling down and making a future and life with someone? For ME that time has come, and if it hasn’t for you, thats OK! If you can’t get with it, that’s cool. 3/4 of the guys I talk to I wouldn’t look twice at in that sense ANYWAY so don’t worry precious darlings, you have nothing to be afraid of

I will say this though: the one good thing about having this point of view on relationships is when you aren’t feeling someone who clearly likes you and you tell them you are single until your next relationship …. and that relationship will be the one you have with your husband to be. They switch up SO fast and basically, push themselves away. A guy not trying to get married doesn’t want to hear that mess. BUT, what if you aren’t feeling him, he’s feeling you, you drop this bomb and he is OK with it!? LOL … sorry, ladies … I can’t help you out of that one